Category Archives: how to make a woman come

female ejaculation, how to make a woman come, how to please a woman in bed, the female orgasm

The Female Orgasm

If you’ve been wondering why you can’t achieve orgasm during intercourse (or get your female partner off by making love to her if you’re a man), it’s probably very helpful to know that most women do not have an orgasm during intercourse.

In fact, it’s actually normal for a woman not to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse (although it’s quite normal to want to do so!)

And this explains, at least partly, why so many women masturbate – it’s presumably one of the major ways in which they enjoy orgasm. They certainly don’t have many orgasms during sex!

When asked if they masturbated, women responded as follows:

82% of women said they masturbate
15% of women said they do not masturbate
3% of women didn’t reply

Of the women who said they masturbated:

66.0% reached orgasm “always”
29.3% reached orgasm “sometimes”
3.0% reached orgasm “occasionally”
and just a few reached orgasm “rarely”

There are several reasons why women have trouble achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse.

The first of these, at least in many women’s minds, is that most men simply cannot thrust in the vagina for long enough to bring a woman to orgasm. Premature ejaculation has been described as the scourge of sexual pleasure – for both men and women – in our time.

And while that might be an overstatement, it certainly has a lot of truth in it.

We know, for example, that over 75% of men cannot last longer than two minutes from penetration to ejaculation. Of course dealing with men’s premature ejaculation is a whole subject in itself. (See this on control of premature ejaculation.)

Sexual medicine – intimacy and sexual health concerns

And if you’re a woman who wants to achieve orgasm during intercourse, you may believe that one of the reasons you do not do so is that your man cannot last each for long enough in bed to provide enough vaginal stimulation for you to experience an orgasm.

Of course it is important for men to take responsibility for not only their own sexual pleasure but also for their partners’ sexual pleasure (at least if it’s true that their partners’ sexual pleasure depends on their ability to make love for longer than two minutes at a time).

The question is, of course, would longer thrusting really make any difference to a woman’s capacity to reach orgasm?

We can get a clue to the answer by looking at the percentage of women who achieve orgasm when they are with men who are able to thrust for at least 15 minutes before they ejaculate.

The remarkable thing is that even among this group of women, who at first might seem to be very fortunate, the frequency of orgasm during intercourse is actually still very low. In fact, it turns out to be just as low as it is in any other group of women.

In a survey by VulvaVelvet.org, the question “If your partner can last for fifteen minutes or more before he ejaculates during intercourse, do you achieve orgasm through penile thrusting alone?” produced the following answers:

  • 10% of women said that they “always” came during sex with their partner
  • 20% of women said that they “sometimes” came during sex with their partner
  • 70% of women said they “rarely” or “never” came during sex with their partner

So, this brings us to the second reason why women have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse. 

The simple fact is that most women rely on clitoral stimulation, if not entirely, at least primarily, to reach orgasm. You’ve probably noticed that during sexual intercourse there are very few sex positions that will stimulate the clitoris in a way likely to help a woman achieve orgasm during intercourse.

And even the much vaunted coital alignment technique (see more here) seems so complicated that most couples give up with it long before they achieve success.

Given these difficulties, it hardly seems surprising that many women have a low expectation of orgasmic pleasure during intercourse.

The third factor, with which most of you will already be familiar, is the simple and undeniable difference between men and women’s sexual arousal: men are quicker to arouse, quicker to reach orgasm, and quicker to lose their arousal after sex than women.

The hard reality is that while men can be fully aroused in a minute or two, most women, most of the time, require twenty minutes or even more of gentle foreplay before they feel aroused enough to really desire and want sexual contact.

The problem, however, goes deeper than this, for the vast majority of men lose interest in sex once they have ejaculated.

This means that if the first part of sex is devoted to the man’s pleasure, the inevitable result is that the woman is likely to be unsatisfied, left hanging without an orgasm, frustrated and probably rather resentful, whilst her man slumbers peacefully next to her.

The first part of sex becomes the final part of sex. There is no second part, the part which should be devoted to the woman’s pleasure.

Of course, what we are describing here is the conventional view of the incompatibility of men and women’s sexual desire. The good news, however, is that there is a solution: the man brings the woman to orgasm with oral pleasure before he enters her to make love.

But, most importantly, the primary objective of all sexual relationships is that when a woman wants an orgasm she should be able to achieve one.

And at the same time, the man should be fully satisfied as well.  And although his “performance” or skill as a lover does not depend on giving his partner an orgasm during sex or masturbation, most men like to do this, and feel proud when they have done so (as well as finding it highly arousing).

female ejaculation, how to make a woman come, how to please a woman in bed, how to sexually satisfy a woman in bed

Unlimited Sexual Pleasure

ENJOY A BETTER SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

Most of us like sex – it’s an essential part of everyday life, and indeed, necessary for good mental and emotional health.

You could say a sexual relationship is a fundamental aspect of human existence. A simple statement to make, but as we all know, while we crave being in a relationship, because a relationship meets our needs, sexual relationships can be anything but simple!

A sexual relaitonship can be anything but simple!
A sexual relationship can be anything but simple!

You may already have discovered in your life that sometimes being in a relationship can be very traumatic for all kinds of reasons….

So in this particular post I want to emphasize one aspect which is greatly underrated as a feature of relationships, but can be particularly important for both men and women who have inhibitions about sex: the benefit of developing sexual skills to a higher level as a way of increasing intimacy.

In short, learning sexual skills like squirting – also known as female ejaculation – can transform a relationship into something very new and exciting.

Video – How To Squirt

I need hardly say that for most male sexual partners, any kind of female squirting orgasm or ejaculation is going to be highly arousing and exciting. And while a woman shouldn’t be basing her sexual pleasure on what her man wants, it can be great for her orgasmic pleasure too! (Watch the videos above to find out why!)

Some experts believe all women can ejaculate, and when no ejaculate appears to be produced, they suggest it is because women who are inhibited clench up so they have retrograde ejaculation.

Sexual Skills and Relationships

Yet another benefit of studying advanced sexual skills like squirting comes when people take the initiative to develop their sexual technique…. it requires good communication and intimacy. Anything which enhances intimacy is a benefit for both partners.

A lot of people are sexually inhibited. As a shadow work practitioner, I always look for emotional wounds to the inner child when somebody is sexually inhibited – or addicted, for that matter.

Fear of sex and addiction to sex both indicate wounds in the Lover Archetype, aka the inner child. Also, people who display a lack of self sexual boundaries are usually deeply wounded in the inner child.

Yet the paradox is that learning about techniques like squirting and multiple orgasm can really help people get over their sexual issues.

From a practical point of view of course it’s also difficult for a couple to enjoy a true sexual relationship – or at least, a truly happy sexual relationship when one partner is wounded in some way.

Learning To Squirt Is Fun

The truth of the matter is that not enjoying sex to the full is an act of self-neglect, since regular good sex has health benefits. It can help you avoid heart disease, high blood pressure and a number of other problems, most of which are going to shorten your life unless you do something about them.

So you could commit to doing something differently that would help you to establish a better sex life – it might be as simple as committing to try one new sexual technique a month.

You may not think this is very significant (or you may think it isn’t very easy), but it is a gesture which says “I care about myself, and I’m going to do something about my fun and happiness!”

At the same time, if you’re in a sexual relationship with a partner, it says something like “I care about you and I want you to be sexually happy and fulfilled”, and actually you ARE going to make yourself more attractive to them!

Men and women who are prepared to address their emotional wounds, get their sex lives under control, and work out why they have sexual issues can gain not only greater physical fitness but also greater emotional health, greater happiness, and a much better relationship by doing so.

It’s for this reason that I highly recommend a highly recommended program by G spot and squirting orgasm expert (a heck of a job description!) Jason Julius. By all accounts appears to be extremely successful. Check it out here.

female ejaculation, how to bring a woman to orgasm, how to make a woman come

The Art Of Sexual Pleasure

Many woman have one special sexual approach which makes them aroused, and can sometimes make them reach orgasm without direct stimulation of the genitals. Here are examples:

“Anal intercourse. It’s so exciting!” Please be careful if you do this, and watch out for the transfer of yeast cells from the vagina to the anus. This can cause yeast infections of the vagina, or Bacterial Vaginosis. Bad news both!

“Running his fingers all over the lips of my vagina and inside and out and on and on forever, and I get sexually aroused so very slowly and yet realizing that I can go on rising until eternity, and anticipating, and finally he plunges in a finger, two fingers hard and go on from there, and/or a special thrill, a sudden twist of the hand so that the wrist bone grates against the soft sensitive insides of the tops of my thighs, and I come in a massive climax, with my natural sexual lubrication spurting out of me!”

“I love him to run his hands over and under my ass while we’re making love at the same time that we’re kissing.”

“Standing when you are held so close and tight you can feel your man’s penis and balls fitting so comfortably between your legs.”

“I love to have my tits played with. I get really turned on when a man sucks on them. I get turned on by this more than by anything else. When a man plays with my clitoris with his fingers, it feels really good, but I don’t come.”

“My lover caresses and touches every inch of my body, but when he brushes my vagina with his penis, it is the most glorious moment of all his caresses. He knows how much I enjoy this moment and prolongs entry as long as I can stand it.”

“The touch of his penis at my vagina entrance makes me leap forward towards orgasm with a big jump.”

“Having my breasts and nipples caressed arouses me very much and can soon bring me off. I especially, like to have a man take one of my nipples into his mouth. I could and have spent much time having a man do that to me. Second to that is cunnilingus which arouses me about as much.”

“Having the area of my clitoris and vagina caressed makes me respond more than anything else. One way of doing that, which is difficult for a man to do, but which I get most pleasure from, is having that area caressed with the top of his penis. If he cannot do that, doing it with his tongue is just about as good.”

“Sixty-nine – mutual oral sex – arouses us both on more than anything else. Standing in the shower with the water and soap falling off us is great and also good clean fun.”

Although most women respond much more keenly than men to gentle stroking and almost require this type of preliminary play to become fully aroused, men also welcome this type of caress.

Remember the general principle that stroking with the whole hand generally proves exciting to both parties, while fingertip stroking usually excites the passive partner more than the active one.

Video – ways for a woman to orgasm

An example of what makes a woman come!

Krystyna is thirty-four, a Swede married to an Englishman, and lives in Sussex, England. She emails to say:

“We have a heated swimming pool, where we can swim naked all the year round. We often make love while we are swimming. It’s quite surprising the number of different things you can do.

Two positions that we use, each of which I find especially exciting and which give me fantastic orgasms. In one I lie on my tummy holding on to the steps, which are at the shallow end. When he kneels down in the water Max’s penis is exactly level with my vagina.

So he kneels between my legs and pushes into me, and then puts his hand round and parts my labia. He doesn’t touch my clitoris at all. Then we rock backwards and forwards, and the movement of the water over my clitoris is indescribable. It takes a long time for me to come off like this, because the build-up is slow.

As you know, a man who has control of his ejaculation and knows the art of lasting in bed is a man who most women would prefer as a lover. At least compared to a man who has no control and ejaculates prematurely before the woman is satisfied during sex.

Building up to orgasm may take more than a quarter of an hour, but all the time there are these superb sensations which slowly get more and more intense, until there is a huge burst, which makes me tremble like a leaf from fingertips to toes.

Max always holds out until I begin to tremble, then he brings himself to orgasm and the jerking of his penis inside me makes me tremble even more. The more I tremble, the more intense my sensations are. I have blacked out coming off like this, which I have never done when we make love in bed or anywhere else. Another way we do it is to go into deeper water, so that Max’s feet are firmly touching the bottom and his shoulders are above the water.

Then I climb on to his penis and put my legs round his waist, and cross my feet. When Max bends his knees and straightens them, his penis goes in and out of my vagina and as it does so, it makes the water flow under a kind of pressure between my labia and over my clitoris, and this is fantastic, too.

But most fantastic of all is when we do it at the water inlet. This is in the shallow end, and the water flows in very, very strongly. I face the inlet and hang, on to the sides, then with my knees apart I squat down until my vulva is exactly opposite the end about six or seven inches away. Max kneels behind me and comes into me.

The underwater jet forces my labia open and plays directly on my clitoris. This can lead to surprising events like female ejaculation. I never thought I was able to ejaculate but this has shown me that sexually I can do whatever I want! And the jet also hits the base of Max’s penis which doesn’t come in me, and joggles his balls about, which he finds very exciting. I always have seven or eight orgasms, and Max never fewer than two. His second one always takes longer than the first, which is why I have so many more orgasms than Max.

But once when Max was particularly randy he had three in about three minutes, and then had two more slower ones. I lost count of mine that time. We had to go and lie on the bed afterwards, we were completely exhausted. But it was a fantastic experience.

how to make a woman come, secrets of the female orgasm

How To Really Give A Woman What She Wants!

Men: Want To Know How To Give A Woman An Orgasm?

As any man who’s been in a relationship with a woman is likely to understand, women don’t always appreciate the male approach to problems – fixing, or in other words, doing something.

Sometimes women just want to talk, share and feel their emotions. So if you want to know how to make a woman come, it’s important to avoid that very masculine approach to sex in general and pleasuring her in particular. That approach is treating your sexual experience with her like it’s all some kind of a challenge to make her orgasm! Let’s look at a better approach, one guaranteed to give her pleasure (and give her an orgasm).

How To Give A Woman An Orgasm – Step By Step

1. Start By Making Her Feel Good

If you want to make a woman come, you need to adopt an approach to sex which makes her feel like you’re right there with her. She needs to know you’re sharing the experience, loving every minute of it, enjoying the sensuality, and feeling intimate with her.

But good gracious, I hear you say, you’re a man, how can you do that emotional stuff and make a woman come at the same time?

Well, it’s possible. The answer is to be so confident in your sexual skills with a woman that you (and she) can relax. That way you can bring her off AND you’ll feel close to her at the same time. And when you really know how to give a woman an orgasm, she’ll feel your confidence and respond to it.

photo of a man making a woman come during penetrative sex
Although the idea of making a woman orgasm through penetration is an appealing one, it doesn’t happen very often, as we shall see in a moment.

2. Stop Thinking About “How To Achieve Female Orgasm” 

If you look around the Internet, much of material that’s been published about how to make a woman come, how to help her achieve orgasm, is very much along the lines of an instruction manual.

But knowing how to give a girl an orgasm isn’t just about knowing the fastest way to bring her to orgasm. It’s about knowing about sexual technique as well as knowing how to make her happy. It’s about being sure you know how to please her in bed physically, and satisfy her emotionally both in and out of bed.

3. Be Flexible – There Are Many Ways You Can Help A Woman Achieve Orgasm.

First and foremost, if you want to make a woman come in the bedroom, start with what we could call “unconscious foreplay” outside the bedroom. In other words, show her how much you love her and how much you want to share pleasure with her in those subtle ways, the gestures which mean a great deal to any woman.

You might want to leave a romantic love note in her underwear drawer which she’s going to find after you’ve left for work, You might want to send her flowers unexpectedly, so she gets a delivery while you’re out of the house. You might want to send her a romantic text message. You might want to spend more time kissing and hugging her, so that she knows how valuable she is to you.

couple in bed - the man has just made the women come

Just being together and intimate is a great way to start out when you’re aiming to please a woman by bringing her to orgasm. That’s a great (and easy) kind of foreplay! If you incorporate this kind of foreplay into every aspect of your daily life, it can be fun! And this is the kind of romancing that a woman needs to make her feel sexual.

You know that old cliche about men needing sex to feel loving? Well it’s true, and so is the other one, about women needing to be loved to feel sexy.

But what about the kind of foreplay you’d enjoy with a woman IN bed?

4. Use Foreplay As Your Ally In Making Her Orgasm

Most men find foreplay a trifle tedious, but it doesn’t have to be. For example, did you know that most women find kissing extremely sexy? That women love to kiss and be kissed, provided it’s done skilfully and with love and care? Studies have shown that kissing your partner reduces the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your system.

And to revert to an instruction manual approach for a minute, get this: as you kiss her, tilt your head to the right. Apparently scientists in Germany found this has more of a positive impact on a woman than any other orientation. Though this seems somewhat improbable, it apparently makes her think of you as more caring. This causes her brain to produce more oxytocin, which is the hormone that influences bonding. Who knew?

Another thing. When you have her in a romantic, ahem, situation, you’re not simply going to kiss her mouth, are you? Women’s bodies are sensitive all over, and they respond well to gentle and sensitive kissing. By arousing her entire body, you are much more likely to be able to make her come. Here’s some advice from Cosmo on this subject.

5. Understand The Techniques Of Sexual Pleasuring 

Of course the main objective here is to ensure you know how to give a woman an orgasm. So, let’s suppose you’re with her in an intimate situation and you’re beginning to take off some clothes.

Each time you, or she, takes off some article of clothing, stand back for a moment and look at her body and admire it. Women can be very self-conscious a woman about their appearance, particularly in a sexual situation. This is because they constantly appraise how beautiful or attractive they are. They do this mostly in comparison to other women, but also in comparison to an internal standard of beauty.

Your woman wants and needs nothing more than to be appreciated, admired, reassured and cherished. She needs this not just once, but over and over again. By doing this you can make a woman feel confident about her body.

woman looking seductively at her man

Keep telling her how beautiful her body is and how sexy and attractive she is… that will relax her mind and body and so make her more likely to come, to reach orgasm, easily.

And of course when she feels confident about her body, she’s also going to feel sexy. That’s because she can relax into her physicality, and open up to the possibility of reaching orgasm without fear of judgement from you.

You’ve probably heard many times that when you’re trying to make a woman come, when you’re trying to get a girl to orgasm, you don’t go straight for the parts of her body that might be most attractive to you: her breasts, clitoris, vulva and so on.

You need to exercise patience as you tease her. Work your way round to her vulva and breasts. Gently stroke up towards her vulva, veering off the last moment without touching it, for example.

This teasing is going to raise her anticipation and will get her more aroused. This is going to make her come more easily, and the more excited she is, the more powerful her orgasm will be!

When you finally do move from stroking her body to stroking her sexually sensitive areas, make sure you do it right. You have to know how to give a woman an orgasm so you’re confident in bed, remember?

6. Give Her Oral Pleasure Before Penetration!

You might be accustomed to turning her on, and then, just as she’s getting aroused, plunging into her, thrusting vigorously, and reaching your own orgasm quickly.

Now, although that might be an attractive recipe for your sexual menu, it’s not going to do very much for her. In fact it’s probably going to leave her “hanging”, aroused and unsatisfied, without an orgasm. And you really don’t want her to masturbate to orgasm after you’ve gone to sleep, do you? Do you? No, of course not…..

So here’s a good idea for you. The most reliable route to orgasm, the easiest way to bring a woman off, is to pleasure her with oral sex.

What each woman wants in the way of oral stimulation is more or less specific to her. This means you’re going to have to be sensitive to her responses. She’s going to show you if she likes what you’re doing through her bodily movements and the sounds she makes.

If she’s aroused she’ll probably raise her vulva towards your mouth. If you feel her body moving away from your mouth slightly, then you may need to change what you’re doing to turn her on more.

But if you hear her moaning, keep doing what you’re doing, and keep the pace steady. Unlike you, she’s going to want a steady rhythm of stimulation until she’s very near orgasm (then you can speed up).

Stimulation of the clitoris is a great way to bring a woman to orgasm!
Oral stimulation of her body can be a great way to make a woman come. This is because only a small percentage of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone.

If you can bring her off with oral pleasure (cunnilingus), and she’ll most likely be very grateful for that, because most women say that oral pleasure is their very favourite sexual activity.

The best estimate is that around 15% of women can reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. 

So, the simple truth is that if you want to make a woman come, if you want to give a woman an orgasm, you are most likely going to do it with oral or manual pleasuring before intercourse.

The great thing is that after she’s come she will probably welcome you into her body for intercourse! And you’ll enjoy intercourse much more because she’s aroused and satisfied, and her vagina will be warm, wet, and ready for penetration.

These are all of the techniques you really need . Use them wisely and you’ll never have any difficulty making a woman come. (If you want to read more about this approach, try Ian Kerner’s book, She Comes First.)

how to make a woman come

Woman On Top Sex Positions Can Help A Woman Come

How To Make A Woman Come (Woman On Top Sex)!

There are many advantages of this sex position. The main ones are listed below. 

  • It is a very exciting sex position and gives a woman a good chance of reaching orgasm.
  • It will provide a woman with a sense of excitement and makes her feel she’s in control and powerful.
  • Changes her role from that of the submissive into that of the dominant partner and gives her more psychological power during sex.
  • She can control the speed and rhythm of sex.
  • The man can see his partner’s breasts, which is exciting for him.
  • The woman can initiate and lead during sex, and she can control the depth of thrusting. She can also find the exact position and alignment of her and her partner’s body which is most likely to make her come.
  • The man may relax and relinquish control – a refreshing experience for him, perhaps.

We all know how the basic woman on top sex position works: the woman straddles the man as he lies on his back. He know that his movements going to be limited, because he’s carrying her weight. This means that she can control the depth of thrusting, as well as the rhythm and speed of sex. As she can control how he moves against her, she is more likely to be able to ensure her clitoris or G spot receives enough stimulation for er to reach orgasm. This is indeed a position which is likely to make a woman come during intercourse. Read more about how to control a woman’s orgasm here.

For many women this degree of control is a completely new experience – and a very welcome one!

So how can this position help a woman come? Well, first of all, the partners can see each other. He can stroke her breasts, clitoris, back, and to some degree her buttocks, while she can play with his chest, upper body, and you can reach round and fondle his testicles.

The great advantage here is that the woman can move her hips in a variety of ways. First she can enjoy pelvic thrusting, or she can move her hips in a circular motion which will give the man a great deal of sexual excitement.

She can control the depth to which he enters her, so that she gets the exact stimulation she needs inside her vagina if she is able to reach orgasm from G spot stimulation.

If he has ejaculatory problems, this may be a successful way of helping him regain control over his ability to ejaculate in an average or normal time scale.

For men who have trouble controlling premature ejaculation, it may be preferable to reach for Lloyd Lester’s superb program on ejaculation control, known as Ejaculation by Command. You can read all about it if you click here www.the-relationship-works.com/program.html where you can see a full review of the system.

Variations of woman on top sex

The woman lies on top

One of the great advantages in woman on top sex is that the feelings can be very intense. Even better, the woman has the capacity to control how intense they are by closing her thighs or opening them wide. Sex may take place with the woman’s thighs outside the man’s, or the man’s thighs outside the woman’s.

This can produce extremely intense stimulation to the penis, and may well make a man ejaculate very quickly. (Advice on improving sex and controlling the speed of ejaculation can be found here.) It also limits the depth of penetration, which can be extremely useful for the woman if her man has very large penis.

Many other variations are possible when the woman leans forward or backwards. As you may well imagine, this alters the angle of the penis and vagina, and produces very different sensations for both partners. The great advantage is that the woman can find a position where her G spot is stimulated most intensely.

One of the problems that may arise during the sexual experimentation is that a man’s penis may be bent uncomfortably, particularly in position known as the reverse cowgirl.

The reverse cowgirl is when the woman is riding the man while facing away from him. Many men, particularly those whose penises are hard and erect and point directly upwards, will find the bending of the penis is too uncomfortable to sustain this sex position, in which case the woman should adopt the more conventional cowgirl position.

The woman on top faces towards the man

You can play with each other’s bodies – in particular the woman’s anus or the man’s balls are very accessible, and kissing and licking is enjoyable too – especially her breasts. This is a very interesting variation that goes far beyond simple mechanical sex – it’s a lovers embrace at every level: emotional, psychological and physical.

If each member of the couple has a degree of support, they can remain locked around each other for long periods of time, only moving enough to sustain man’s erection.

This can produce great intimacy, particular the couple can resist thrusting, as they enjoy talking, gazing at each other, and loving each other through mutual touch on all the available areas of the body.

In fact, it’s a great Tantric position. Which allows for profound energy flow and the connection between the partners.

A man’s viewpoint

As a man I have some strong opinions about woman on top sex. In fact, it’s actually one of my favorites. I love the sense of being able to relax from taking the dominant role during sex, underlying my partner to take charge. More to the point, of course, is the fact that this is a great position for helping a woman to come. Indeed, it is the only sexual position in which I can make a woman come during intercourse.

One of the things that women often don’t realize that men is that the burden of leading and controlling during sexual activity can be tedious and difficult after a while.

It’s a great experience for the woman to take charge, not only because she then has much more control over the way in which she reaches orgasm, but also because the man relinquishes responsibility for taking the woman towards orgasm.

Instead, he can just relax and enjoy the experience of being made love to buy his partner. Some women may not like this, claiming that it’s never the man’s job to make the woman come! My experience does, however, suggest that most women expect their man to give them an orgasm most of the time!

The way this has been justified to me is by women saying things like “it’s much more fun if you do it”.

Of course I have no objection to that — it’s very exciting, and even somewhat flattering, for a man when he takes woman to orgasm.

But the truth is that sex is a shared experience, and to make sure that’s the way it stays, sometimes the woman needs take charge. In fact, my partner actually enjoys taking charge in this way.

She has the power, when she can tease me by riding me slowly or quickly as she chooses; this power over a man is a wonderful thing for my woman, because she can take me to the brink of sexual ecstasy time after time after time, finally giving me enough stimulation so that I have a massive orgasm.

You see, men often feel they need to ejaculate as quickly as possible: certainly that’s what their instincts tell them to do! In reality, however, I find sex is much better if it takes a long time to build up towards orgasm.

Let’s not overlook something else of crucial importance here: women want the opportunity to be able to give pleasure to their men, and woman on top sex is a profoundly satisfying way to do it. So there are two sources of satisfaction here: the position itself lends itself to making a woman come, and she can also get pleasure from pleasuring her man – about which you can read more here!

Depending on whether you adopt the reverse cowgirl or the conventional cowgirl, the man has the pleasure of seeing the woman’s buttocks or her breasts, but in either case he’s guaranteed added excitement simply because he has such a good view of her body.

As she leans towards or away from him, his penis will experience different degrees of pressure & stimulation. This can provide more excitement, variation, and in the end more satisfaction. All in all, this sex position can satisfy everybody.

Have an orgasm during sex by controlling the pace of sex, the angle and depth of penetration, and the pressure on her clitoris, becomes a restful experience for the man. This time he can lie back and enjoy it! 

With a simple program of premature ejaculation exercises, the only program which can give you absolute control over your ejaculation, so letting you make love with total sexual mastery for just as long as you want, you can control your ejaculation and actually have complete control over your ejaculation – which means being able to choose when you ejaculate during sex!

how to bring a woman to orgasm, how to give a woman an orgasm, how to make a woman come

The Art Of Easy Orgasm For Women

Although this may seem like an extremely obvious thing to say, it might be something that you haven’t actually thought about: the quality of a sexual relationship can be measured by the number of orgasms and the frequency of intercourse you have. And this may directly control the level of sexual pleasure that you and your partner people enjoy.

So far, so good. That might not be such a surprising conclusion. But the research gets more interesting. It seems people who have a deeply satisfying sexual relationship (as measured by the criteria mentioned above) also have a good relationship in all other areas of their life. In fact, number of orgasms in the bedroom seems directly related to pleasure and harmony outside it.

This is because a good sexual relationship produces feelings of intimacy and connection which spill over into the relationship in general.

This means the partners are engaged with each other in a relationship that’s intimate and provides a sense of connection. And then they are much more likely to be working harmoniously together. They are also much more likely to be getting along without arguments. And they are much more likely to be regarding each other with affection.

So what’s the message for us all here? I think it’s very obvious:  if your sexual relationship isn’t working particularly well, you need to find ways to improve it.

How To Improve Your Relationship

Most sexual relationships between most couples in this country could be improved by enjoying more orgasms.

Regrettably it has become all too common for sexual relationships to serve as a vehicle for the man’s sexual satisfaction whilst the woman remains unsatisfied. That means she has fewer orgasms than her man, or at least she doesn’t orgasm on a regular basis.

Why? An interesting question indeed. The answer probably relates in the main to men’s attitude to sex and women’s desire to please (or to avoid upsetting) their man by being too “sexually demanding”.

It’s also possible there is a reflection of our patriarchal society in this dynamic. Men have controlled women’s sexuality in the Western world (and even more so elsewhere) for a very long time.

However, we are moving into a new era of enlightenment and education, and we must make efforts to ensure that sexual satisfaction is shared equally between the two people in a couple.

This means there needs to be some way of ensuring  women reach orgasm on a regular basis. When this happens, women can share  the sexual satisfaction and pleasure in the wider relationship. As I said, this has been shown to come from orgasmic satisfaction and pleasure.

How To Fix Your Relationship and Have More Orgasms

This website is aimed solely at getting women into a place of greater sexual pleasure, i.e. greater orgasmic frequency: https://www.womencomingwithjoy.com

It reviews the history of orgasms in relationships between men and women. It also thoroughly discusses how women can come to orgasm much more often. This gives them a lot of sexual pleasure they might not otherwise experience.

You may think there are only a few ways to bring a woman to orgasm. Of course in one sense you’d be correct: there is clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, and, for the experts, G spot and cervical stimulation.

But that’s not the point I’m getting at! There are numerous ways in which a woman’s erogenous zones can be stimulated by a man to give a woman great orgasms and lots of sexual pleasure. The least successful of these, as you may know, is intercourse.

Very few women reach orgasm during intercourse. There are several reasons for this.

The first is that in general most women come through clitoral stimulation. But the clitoris receives very little stimulation during intercourse, unless the couple take the time and trouble to use the coital alignment technique (read about it here). This is specifically designed to provide clitoral stimulation.

The next problem is that men (in general) ejaculate so quickly that they aren’t able to provide enough stimulation to their woman. This means that even if she could reach an orgasm during intercourse with prolonged lovemaking, she doesn’t do so. (Men: discover ways to slow down ejaculation using the stop start technique here.)

It’s a controversial subject even now whether women have clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. (They do.) But leaving that issue aside, it’s fair to say that most men’s quick ejaculation brings intercourse to an end long before a woman could have a chance of reaching orgasm even if she was able to.

Also, intercourse duration is very much determined by how long it takes the man to come (ejaculate). In other words, sex between heterosexual couples generally comes to an end when the man ejaculates. This is because most men lose interest in sex after they have ejaculated.

So the difference between men and women in terms of sexual arousal and satisfaction is considerable. A lot of women who reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation will then want vaginal penetration.

There’s a clear message here: if a man makes a woman come before he climaxes (however that is achieved), she will get pleasure. If he engages in intercourse, ejaculates, and then sex finishes, she will most likely not get pleasure. She will be unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

However, all of this knowledge is useless unless you know some techniques that can actually work for you as a couple. Techniques which will allow you to make a woman come and have pleasurable sex. Or even  orgasmic bliss!

So I suggest you have a look here: this is a repository of techniques for achieving sexual pleasure. It may not be  a complete account of how to bring a woman to orgasm, or how to make a woman come, but it’s certainly a big step in the right direction.

It covers many of the aspects of sexuality which men and women don’t really know so much about – even if they’ve been in a relationship for some time.

By the way, why don’t men and women discuss sex on a regular and intimate basis? Well, that’s another issue! What we can say with great confidence is this: when sex is going well, and providing a couple with satisfaction and pleasure, they’re much more likely to be able to talk about personally intimate issues. And then they are much more likely to have the means to resolve any difficulties.

female ejaculation, how to bring a woman to orgasm, how to make a woman come

Sex & Orgasms – Making A Woman Come

Would you like to see the easiest and best way to make a woman come? Give any woman massive orgasms easily?

Yes? Then simply read on, and we will show you how to make any woman orgasm easily and quickly!

We start by looking at the process of sexual arousal.

Sexual arousal is not just something that happens in the mind; it happens in the mind and the body together.  There’s a name for that process of arousal – the sexual response cycle.

This has four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Each stage builds upon the last so long as the right kind of stimulation is applied at the right time and with the right intensity. And that will lead to an orgasm. So at its most basic, making a woman come is all about doing the right thing at the right time.

The Process Of Arousal:
The Female Sexual Response Cycle

Step 1 On The Road To Orgasm (Climax)

The sexual response cycle often begins with foreplay. This promotes sexual arousal.

As you know, foreplay can take many forms, ranging from simple loving look to a gentle touch, from a passionate kiss to a warm embrace, from gentle stroking of the skin to a vigorous massage. Most women need much more foreplay than men if they are to reach orgasm. That’s because foreplay is essential to promote desire.

Stimulation of the clitoris is a great way to bring a woman to orgasm!
Stimulation of her body, leading to gentle stimulation of her nipples or clitoris is a great way to arouse a woman before intercourse. It can also be a great way to bring her to orgasm before intercourse, as only a small percentage of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone.

Whatever from foreplay takes, if a woman is responsive, stimulation, some changes will take place in her body which signal her growing sexual arousal.

These changes include an increased flow of blood to her genitals, with some engorgement of the erectile tissue of the clitoris, vulva and labia. At the same time her skin becomes more sensitive to touch.

Her breasts swell in size and her nipples become more sensitive to stimulation. But since the nipples are very sensitive anyway, an aggressive touch may not be pleasant, so men- beware of being too firm, too soon!

If you are aiming to take a woman to orgasm, or force her to come with you on a sexual journey, make sure you touch her lightly. The best approach is to check what she actually wants, so ask her how she likes to be touched! 

For some women, it is not the destination (orgasm) but the journey (arousal, foreplay, intimacy) which is most exciting.

And perhaps the most obvious sign of her bodily arousal is production of vaginal lubrication, sometimes in large quantities, so much so that she may feel the wetness growing and seeping outwards into her underwear. This is often accompanied by a sense of warmth. And in this first stage of arousal, her clitoris begins to swell with  blood and becomes more prominent. (A process called “engorgement”. Not a very sexy word!)

Massage is a great way to arouse most women, so to help you in your quest to make a woman come, here’s a video on a sensual orgasm massage technique!

Step 2: Sexual Arousal

As sexual stimulation continues, muscle tension increases throughout a woman’s body: this tension will eventually  be released at the moment of climax.

Her rate of breathing increases, her blood pressure goes up, and her heart beats faster. As she becomes aroused, the man may also find his arousal mirroring hers. If he is aiming to manufacture her coming, he may have to control his own increasing arousal while she catches up with him: women generally take ten or twenty times as long to be fully aroused and ready for orgasm as men do.

Foreplay between man and woman.
Foreplay can be very enjoyable for both the man and the woman as it builds intimacy and ensures a woman is aroused enough to achieve orgasm. However, it does require restraint and self-discipline on the part of the man, who may need to delay his own need for sexual pleasure until his partner has had her orgasm.

What this means, in practice, is that a woman may need between twenty and thirty minutes of foreplay before she is ready to achieve orgasm.

Now, a lot of men think that they can simply kiss a woman a little, perhaps fondle her breasts for a few minutes, maybe twiddle her clitoris, and she’ll be ready for penetration. This is really selfish. A woman needs time. And even when she’s ready for penetration and her body is ready to take her to orgasm, there’s another issue. Many women – in fact the vast majority – will not be able to reach orgasm through penetration and intercourse alone. Most need additional clitoral stimulation to come.

Obviously, for men who are fortunate enough to be with a woman who can come during intercourse, this is not relevant. But for the rest of us, there’s a great strategy which comes highly recommended for achieving both male and female sexual pleasure. Ready? Here it is:

Give your woman an orgasm by orally pleasuring her, or by pleasuring her with a sex toy such as a vibrator, or by using your fingers, before you enter her.  She’ll really like this approach to lovemaking because it shows you know how important it is to give her pleasure (an orgasm) before you take your own pleasure.

There will be also be changes to her vagina, with the entrance tightening slightly and the inner parts ballooning and increasing in length.

As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris becomes larger and goes through a number of changes that cause the angle of the clitoral body to change. Such changes are useful signs for a man aiming to make a woman come quickly and easily – they can be the clues to what to do next in the process of sexual arousal.

It is at this point that the G-spot changes in texture from rough to smooth, a change which some people believe is caused by swelling of part of the clitoris, causing it to lie more closely on top of the vaginal wall.

You can see the location of these parts on this picture:

diagram of female sexual anatomy

Diagram showing the location of a woman’s sexual pleasure spots, including the G spot

The clitoral glans usually disappears beneath its hood and remains there until the point of climax or orgasm unless exposed by pulling the skin back.

At the same time a woman’s uterus shifts upwards so as to allow the vagina to expand lengthwise, thereby allowing the penis to thrust more deeply.

Unless the clitoris is stimulated during sex, a woman is unlikely to climax during sexual intercourse. That is true whether she is stimulating herself or a man is trying to make her come during partnered sexual activity.

picture of the clitoris showing the clitoral hood
Two important things to note: the location of the clitoral hood, which may cover the glans of the clitoris as a woman becomes more aroused. Also, the vaginal opening is well away from the area of the clitoris, which is why many women who can only reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, will not receive enough stimulation during intercourse to make them come. A better way to give a woman pleasure may be to take her to orgasm before you enter her.

Step 3: The Plateau Phase – Making A Woman Come

In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.

During the plateau phase she may experience a skin flush, deeper breathing and a higher heart rate; certainly her genitals will change color, as her labia become flushed with blood and her vaginal tissues swell.

As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm. 

It’s often the transition from the plateau phase into  orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm. (Read more about difficulties with orgasm for women here.)

Men, when trying to make a woman come, and familiar with the way in which they stimulate their own penis during masturbation, will often apply much more vigorous and rapid stimulation to a woman’s clitoris at this point.

While it’s certainly true there is a point where a woman may need this additional stimulation to reach orgasm, it has to be timed to perfection, otherwise a woman is likely to feel her climax slipping away from her.

Woman reaching the point of orgasm during intercourse
Few men know how to make a woman come  during intercourse without additional stimulation of her clitoris. But as you can see above, it is possible.

What most women want and need to reach orgasm is rhythmic regular stimulation at the right pressure, until the very last moment, and then some additional pressure or faster stimulation to tip her over the edge.

The climax itself involves a series of contractions of the muscles of the vaginal walls, the uterus, and the pelvic floor muscles.  These contract rhythmically at just under one second intervals.

All of these contractions are accompanied by a great sensation of pleasure and, in some women, the emission of a small amount of fluid from the vagina – a sort of female ejaculation, a process captured on video many times, and is a real phenomenon.

The number of contractions a woman experiences when coming generally ranges between three and fifteen, although a few  women can experience much more prolonged contractions.

And some women experience their orgasms as a whole body sensation rather than just a pleasurable feeling in their genitals. So there are no rules – and it’s probably safe to say that all women’s experiences of climax are different – both between different women and in the same woman over time.

One thing I have come across many times in my work with couples is the woman wishing that her man could last longer during intercourse before he ejaculates.

This is a real issue, because in my experience, few men really seem to know what to do if they come before their woman would like them to do so. Often men want to last longer in bed but just don’t know how to do so. So, I have a suggestion! Take a look at the website www.massivestayingpower.com This may be helpful for you as a man if you wish to make love for longer before you come.

Step 4 : The Resolution Phase

A woman’s body returns to her pre-aroused state. 

arousalThis process happens much more slowly in women than men.

Indeed, women can often have another orgasm soon after their first; which is distinctly different to men, who have a refractory period, during which it is impossible for them to become sexually aroused again.

This is the kind of information that a man trying to make a woman come needs to know – for example, it is often a better idea for him to give her an orgasm before entering her and enjoying his own orgasm.

Why do men want to sleep after orgasm and women to cuddle?

It’s down to the hormones we produce – after she’s had an orgasm during sex a woman is much more likely to want a period of cuddling and interaction; after his orgasm, a man is likely to want to sleep.