The Art Of Female Orgasm
How to make a woman come in five easy steps!
1 Start Foreplay Outside The Bedroom
Most women are going to be much more willing to make love with a man if they feel respected and appreciated. A great way to show you really do appreciate her is to build up to your lovemaking long before you get into the bedroom.
You can leave little notes for her around the house telling her how you feel about her and how attractive she is. You can send text messages unexpectedly, or buy her flowers and have them delivered. Anything that shows you’re thinking about her, even when you’re not with her, will be much appreciated, and tends to open her heart to being much more intimate with you in bed.
2 Make Sure That You Know What She Wants In the Bedroom
Because men tend to have a much more urgent sex drive than women, it can sometimes be easy for us to overlook the fact that women need a slower approach to arousal than men. In fact, research shows that women generally take 10 to 20 times as long to get aroused and ready for intercourse as men do .
This means that most women need at least 20 or 30 minutes of foreplay before you actually make love. But it’s important the kind of foreplay you share with her is something that she wants and enjoys, and something that is also appealing to you. This might be kissing, caressing, cuddling, looking into each other’s eyes; a great way to find out is to ask her!
If you don’t want to ask, then try gentle stroking, kissing all over her body gently, and make sure that the first half of foreplay is devoted to stimulating her whole body. Only move on to her breasts and intimate areas when you send she’s beginning to get aroused. It could well be true that a woman’s most important sexual organ is either her skin or her brain! (We all know what a man’s most important sexual organ is!)
3 Make Sure the Stimulation You Give Her Is What She Wants
Lots of men head straight for their partner’s clitoris or genitals when they’re in bed with a woman. But this should come after a lot of preliminary foreplay. When you do move onto her clitoris, vulva or breasts, make sure to check that she’s responding with arousal and excitement.
Women generally require a much lighter touch than men in their sexual areas, and a hard touch can either be unpleasant or a real turnoff until she’s highly aroused. You can always check in with her if what you’re doing is OK.
4 Consider Giving Her an Orgasm Before Intercourse Starts
The vast majority of women find it quite difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone. This is because they don’t receive any clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Although it may seem hard to delay your pleasure, consider learning how to make a woman come through oral pleasuring or touch as a conclusion to foreplay.
This works well for many couples because even after she’s reached orgasm, a woman is still highly aroused some time, and generally will delight in the intimacy of intercourse.
This approach takes pressure off the man, and allows him to take his pleasure while his woman is aroused and open to him in heart, mind and body.
5 Learn How to Last Longer in Bed
All the research shows that a lot of men come long before women would like them to do so; and that’s true even if a woman can’t reach orgasm during intercourse. That’s because penetration is such an intimate act, and women often enjoy the intimacy of intercourse rather than expecting to have their man make them come.
At the same time, there are quite a number of women who could come during intercourse through vaginal stimulation alone – if only the man could last longer before he reached his own orgasm.
So there could be real benefits for both you if you learn how to last longer in bed. As the man, your pleasure would be prolonged, and your orgasm would be more intense, and your woman might be able to reach orgasm during intercourse – which is a fabulous experience both of you. If you don’t know how to do this, and want some easy solutions, search online for “stamina in bed”.
Follow these five simple and easy steps, all of which can help you make a woman come easily, and you’ll be a man with much greater sexual skills and your woman’s sexual hero as well!
Orgasm in women is, of course, a rather complex story.
We know that women vary considerably in the type of stimulation that is required to bring them to orgasm, and we’ve already observed that many do not experience this pleasure through vaginal penetration.
When combined with the fact that women actually have a much more variable capacity to achieve orgasm during sexual activity than men, you’d expect the percentage of men and women reaching orgasm during sex to be very different. And, unsurprisingly, they are.
Lloyd scrutinized the literature reports on women’s orgasmic experience and summarized data from 32 research projects.
Unfortunately, as is so often the case with research into sexuality, many of these studies were poorly conducted with ill-defined terms in the research or unrepresentative samples of women. They certainly weren’t directed towards a study of how easy women find it to reach orgasm with a man who knows how to make them come!
However, using the best judgment possible in the circumstances, the proportion of women who report always experiencing orgasm during intercourse is 25.3%. The women who “sometimes” or “rarely” did so during intercourse is 19.7%.
Video on how to cause female ejaculation
Similarly, Lloyd found that the percentage of women who never come (i.e. NEVER reach orgasm) during their lifetimes was reported as between 5 to 10% in a number of different studies. This broadly matches the figure of 10% in Kinsey’s pioneering research in 1953.
When you consider all kinds of stimulation during a sexual act with a partner, studies have demonstrated that around 27% of women say they will always achieve climax, 41.3% say they usually do so, 21.6% say they achieve it “sometimes”, and 10% say they do so rarely or never.
If this covers any kind of sexual activity with a partner it is incompatible with the research reported above, because this revealed that women claim to experience orgasm during intercourse 25.3% of the times they have it.
What we know is that it is definitely a good idea for a man to know how to make a woman come.
This aids sexual pleasure and satisfaction all round!
Intuitively it’s extremely improbable that only 2% of orgasms experienced by women during any kind of sexual interaction is accounted for by activities other than sexual intercourse.
This seems to imply that the real figure of women who are able to achieve orgasm during intercourse is much lower than 25%, and that would be broadly in line with our own unscientific research projects and informal e-mail enquiries that we’ve had from women on our websites over the years.
Broadly speaking, we would estimate that no more than 15%, and possibly as few as 10% or even 5% of women achieve orgasm on a regular basis during sexual intercourse. Men simply don’t make women come during sex by vaginal thrusting alone…. not usually, anyway.
There is certainly a widespread recognition in research projects that the cultural environment suggests that people are more sexually active than they actually are, and it may be that the over-reporting of orgasm during intercourse is a reflection of this cultural bias. Though of course it may be a sign of men’s deep desire to demonstrate that they know how to make a woman come!!!
Making A Woman Come Clitorally vs Vaginally
Nonetheless an important question arises: how important is orgasm is for women, and for men?
In a research project conducted in 1994, 49% of men agreed with the statement that “sex without orgasm or climax cannot be really satisfying for men” and 34% disagreed. In response to the same question 43% of women agreed and 29% disagreed. Interestingly, when the same statement was made for a woman, 29% of women agreed, and 50% disagreed, while 37% of men agreed and 35% disagreed. I think these figures reflect the importance that men attach to being able to make a woman come.
This clearly emphasizes the different importance which men and women apply to orgasm during sex. In a more recent survey of women in heterosexual relationships by Bancroft, it was discovered that the frequency of orgasm which women experience during sexual activity with their partners did not have any correlation with how the women evaluated the success of their sexual relationship or indeed their own sexuality.
When asked how important it was to their sexual happiness to have an orgasm, or for a man to bring them to orgasm, only 29.6% of the women said it was important or extremely important.