The Art Of Female Orgasm
Top tips to make a woman come in five easy steps!
1. Start your loving outside the bedroom.
You need to show your woman you really appreciate her by romancing her before you even get into the bedroom.
This will make her feel respected and appreciated. And most women are going to be much more willing to make love with a man if they feel that way. But how can you do this?
You could leave love letters (or just brief notes) for her around the house, telling her how you feel about her, and making clear how attractive she is to you. You can send text messages unexpectedly. You can buy her flowers and have them delivered. Anything that shows you’re thinking about her, even when you’re not with her, will be much appreciated. This kind of thoughtfulness tends to open her heart so she is ready to be much more open to you in bed – and you’re much more likely to make her come this way, too.
2. Make sure you know what she wants inside the bedroom.
Be certain that what turns you on excites her as well. In other words, remember to check what your woman actually wants in bed.
Because men have a higher sex drive than women, we sometimes overlook a woman’s sexual desires and needs. That includes taking account of the fact that most women appreciate a slower approach to arousal than men.
Research shows that women generally take 10 to 20 times as long to get aroused and ready for intercourse as men do. This means that most women need at least 20 or 30 minutes of foreplay before they are ready for penetration.
So it’s important to be sure that the kind of foreplay you share with her is something both of you want and enjoy. This might be kissing, caressing, cuddling, looking into each other’s eyes. And remember, the best way to find out what she wants is to ask her! Such thoughtful consideration on your part will add to the likelihood that you’ll be able to make her come as part of your mutual sexual pleasuring.
But if you don’t want to ask, then you can go it alone! Try gently stroking and kissing her body all over; make sure that the first ten minutes of your foreplay is devoted to stimulating her whole body. Move on to her breasts and intimate areas only when you sense that she’s beginning to feel some arousal.
Keep in mind that a woman’s most important sexual organs might well be her skin and her mind. (We all know what a man’s most important sexual organ is!)
3. If you want to make a woman come, take your time before you touch her intimate areas.
Take your time before you touch your partner’s breasts, clitoris or vagina when you’re getting sexual with her. A quick approach to her breasts or genitals may be uncomfortable for her.
From a woman’s point of view, intimate touch on her sexual areas should come after a lot of preliminary foreplay. And when you do move on to her clitoris, vulva or breasts, be sure to check that she’s responding with arousal and excitement. (If she’s not, stop what you’re doing and ask her what she would like instead.)
Women generally require a much lighter touch than men on their sexual areas. A hard touch can be unpleasant or, worse, a real turnoff unless she’s highly aroused. You can always check in with her to see if what you’re doing is OK.
4. Consider making your woman come before intercourse begins.
Although you may not really want to delay your pleasure, you can choose to put her needs first. Strangely enough, this can improve sex for both of you.
This is because the vast majority of women do not reach orgasm through penile thrusting during intercourse. This is because the clitoris does not usually receive any stimulation during intercourse. So bringing a woman to orgasm orally or by masturbation before you enter her can be a great way of giving her pleasure. In fact her orgasm can become the desired end point of your “foreplay”.
But what about your needs? Well, after your woman has come, you can enjoy penetrative sex with her until you enjoy your own climax. Doing things this way round works well for many couples because after a woman’s reached orgasm, her body will remain highly aroused for some time. That means your lover will most likely delight in the intimacy of intercourse after you have given her an orgasm.
What’s more, this approach takes pressure off you, the man, and allows you to take your pleasure while your woman is aroused and open to you in heart, mind and body.
5. Learn how to last longer in bed.
If you can find a way to last longer in bed before you ejaculate, you might be surprised to discover that you can indeed bring a woman to orgasm during intercourse.
Research shows that women want men to last longer before they ejaculate during intercourse. Partly that’s because penetration is such an intimate act, and women often enjoy the very close intimacy of intercourse.
More importantly, perhaps, there are quite a number of women who could come during intercourse through vaginal stimulation alone – if only the man could last longer before he reached his own orgasm.
So there could be real benefits for both of you if you learn how to last longer in bed. As the man, your pleasure would be prolonged and your orgasm would be more intense. You might even discover how to make a woman come during intercourse. That can be a fabulous experience for both of you. If you don’t know how to do this, and want some easy solutions, search online for “stamina in bed”.
Follow these five simple and easy steps, all of which can help you find out how to make a woman come easily, and you’ll be a man with much greater sexual skills and your woman’s sexual hero as well!
Orgasm In Women
We know that women vary considerably in the type of stimulation that is required to bring them to orgasm. And, as we’ve seen, many women do not experience orgasmic pleasure through vaginal penetration during intercourse. But how many women can come during intercourse?
Lloyd looked through the scientific literature on women’s orgasmic experience and summarized data from 32 pieces of research. Using the best data possible he found that 25.3% of women claim that they always reach orgasm during intercourse.
Video: how to make a woman ejaculate
Lloyd also discovered that around 5% to 10% of women claimed they had never had an orgasm during partnered sex. Whether these figures are correct or not, one thing is clear: it is definitely a good idea for a man to find out how he can make a woman come. This is, perhaps, the best way to ensure sexual pleasure and satisfaction for both partners.
There are some experts who put the figure of women reaching orgasm during intercourse much lower, around 5%. That would be broadly in line with our own unscientific research projects and informal e-mail enquiries that we’ve had from women on our websites over the years.
According to recent scientific studies, only about 5% of women are able to reach orgasm with vaginal intercourse. The rest require digital, oral, or another form of clitoral stimulation. For many normal women, the intensity of a vibrator is the only way they are able to climax. (Source here.)
Whatever the real number, it is obvious that men simply can’t make most women come during sex by vaginal thrusting alone…. not usually, anyway. And I guess the widespread interest in this data may be a sign of men’s deep desire to know if it is “normal” or not for a man NOT to know how to make a woman come during intercourse!
Making A Woman Come Clitorally vs Vaginally
Nonetheless an important question arises: how important is orgasm is for women, and for men?
In a research project conducted in 1994, 49% of men agreed with the statement that “sex without orgasm or climax cannot be really satisfying for men” and 34% disagreed. In response to the same question 43% of women agreed and 29% disagreed.
Interestingly, when the same statement was made for a woman, 29% of women agreed, and 50% disagreed, while 37% of men agreed and 35% disagreed.
I think these figures reflect the importance that men attach to being able to make a woman come.
This implies men and women see the importance of reaching orgasm during sex very differently. It seems men mostly expect to come, and they appear to want their partners to come as well. Maybe men judge the success of sex by whether or not each partner has had an orgasm! If so, the the message is clear – regardless of what the statistics imply, men need to learn how to make a woman come more reliably. Off to it, guys!