Category Archives: how to give a woman an orgasm

female ejaculation, how to bring a woman to orgasm, how to give a woman an orgasm

Female Ejaculation 3

How To Give Oral Pleasure To A Woman

The first thing is to make your woman feel relaxed about what you’re doing. In other words she’s got to believe you’re enjoying it, so any squeamishness on your part is definitely something you need to deal with before you begin to enjoy oral pleasure together.

Assuming you’ve got this out of the way, keep in mind that it’s not just about plunging your tongue straight into a woman’s pussy with your lips on her vulva! It’s about arousing her first with cuddles and caresses and intimacy. Only when you’ve actually done this can you begin to get her aroused more directly by approaching her clitoris and vulva.

Having said that, there’s nothing really to worry about. Almost any oral pleasure a woman receives is going to actually give her wonderful sensations and very probably help her enjoy orgasms, though maybe not squirting orgasms.

Needless to say, you should both be in a comfortable position, and the man shouldn’t experience any kind of backache or strain. You need to to find a position where you can relax. Despite the fact that  most women find oral pleasure arousing, it may take a while to bring her to orgasm!

Naturally it’s going to be helpful for the woman to tell her man when when he’s doing something that she likes, and it’s necessary also to give him feedback to ensure that he knows what he’s doing.

As far as you, the man, are concerned, simplicity is the best approach. Listen to her, watch her body language, and do more of what makes her feel good. (You’ll know because she’ll give plenty of signs that she’s enjoying herself!)

Oral sex and squirting / female ejaculation

Oral sex is a great way of giving a woman an orgasm – if not squirting orgasms. But, if you have a close emotional relationship with her, you may still find that the intimacy and closeness of oral sex results in her producing Amrita at the moment of orgasm. This si true female ejaculation. 

It is rather different from the production of female ejaculatory fluid which sometimes emerges as a “squirting orgasm”. These are so-named because the fluid is sometimes expelled with great force as the woman reaches climax.

However, great sex and good relationships are not just about pleasuring a woman with oral sex. They are about much more than that. As far as the man is concerned, they’re essentially about the display of a true, profoundly respectful & mature state of masculinity that a woman can respect and which makes her feel safe.

Being able to pleasure a woman is certainly one aspect of the mature masculine, but then so is being certain of what you’re doing with your own life. Being able to take control of your life, and to direct it so that you’re satisfied and happy with the way things are going is a very powerful and wonderful experience. If the idea of being in control of your own life in this way appeals to you, check out the information on male archetypes here — especially the King archetype.

What Do Women Really Want During Sex?

I want you to think for a moment what you’d feel like if you could take your woman to orgasm every every time you have sex. And think how she would feel if these orgasms were the most intense and exciting she’s ever had!

Even better, your relationship would improve dramatically as well, because the benefits of great sex always flow into every aspect of your life, inside and outside the bedroom.

Some things are simple: women want emotional closeness, intimate connection and orgasms.  And good sex. The kind of sex which shows a woman you care about her, and of course it also means plenty of orgasms! This, simple though it sounds, really does makes a woman happy and contented.

So if you want to keep your relationship buzzing, have lots of great sex, and enjoy being with a contented partner, the best thing to do right now is to find out how to make a woman come easily and quickly – and then use those skills every time you have sex. You can see the program I recommend to help you become a truly wonderful partner for your woman in the right hand column of this page.

Could Your Partner Ever Be Sexually Unfaithful?

Most men think the answer to this question is “no”. But the truth is that women often get tired of poor sex and they do not like the lack of concern for their sexual pleasure which is shown by a man who can’t be bothered to help them reach orgasm.

Your partner expects to reach orgasm with you, and she wants to be confident enough to make her come whenever she wants.  come with squirting orgasms! Now, you might be thinking, what’s in this for me? And I understand that. Sex is – or should be – definitely a two way thing. But here’s the point: when you take the time and trouble to satisfy your partner, when you know how to make her come in a way she loves, then she’ll be very happy to give you the best sex you’ve ever had. In fact, she’ll be really eager to please you in bed…… over and over again.

And, as you may already know, there are few things in life more pleasurable than making love to a woman who’s just had an orgasm, and is wet, warm, willing, and very receptive to you being inside her.

This is sex at its best. It’s WIN-WIN for you both: you bring her to orgasm (maybe a squirting orgasm), before you enter her, then you can penetrate her and enjoy lovemaking until you come inside her, her body arching around you, her body throbbing and gripping your penis as you reach the peak of orgasmic pleasure.

The recently discovered techniques which make this possible – even easy – are available on this website right here, right now. They work for everyone, of all ages, no matter how much or how little sexual experience you have! 

Two types of orgasm – clitoral and vaginal (or G spot).

Do you know which your partner prefers, and how to give her one or the other? Just think how impressed your partner will be with your sexual knowledge and skills if you can make her come by stimulating her G spot – one of the most fun, sexiest things to do with her.

She might even ejaculate! There’s nothing like a woman gushing or squirting at the moment of orgasm to add excitement to your love life. But you need to know just how to stimulate her – and how to watch her body, which will tell you what to do and when to do it – but only if you can recognize the clues it’s giving you.

She might want to enjoy multiple orgasms too, so you’d better come prepared, knowing how to give her exactly what she wants!  While multiples aren’t exactly essential for great sex, they can be intensely pleasurable… As I said before, intercourse just won’t make most women come, at least not without a few additional tricks to arouse them.

So, when you’ve picked up my tips and tricks, you can look forward to enjoying her orgasms during intercourse – and maybe even having simultaneous orgasms, perhaps the best sexual experience you can have with a woman.

Discover The Simplest, Quickest and Easiest Way To Give Your Partner A Squirting Orgasm!

Click Here To Find Out How To Do It!

(Warning: this free video all about G spot stimulation is NSFW and loud)

For most couples, good sex is the foundation of their relationship. If your sex life isn’t up to much, your relationship probably won’t be working too well either. Of course, the more you know about sexual skills, positions and techniques, the easier it’ll be for you to give a woman an orgasm.

 

female ejaculation, how to bring a woman to orgasm, how to give a woman an orgasm

Female Ejaculation 2

The Next Story Of A Squirter

We move onto another account of female ejaculation by a 22-year-old woman who’d been on a couple of dates with an adorable man who was “very sexually attractive” to her. After a few dates they were getting sexually intimate, and the second time they had sex she had a squirting orgasm and suddenly ejaculated.

How did it go? She could feel his fingers moving inside of her, although she “didn’t know what he was doing in there” – but whatever it was, he was certainly successful. She “felt a huge surge of fluid building up” which then poured out and went everywhere, with her reaching orgasm seconds after the ejaculation.

She hadn’t experienced this before, and she sat up in confusion – looking at the bedsheets, soaked with fluid, convinced that she’d urinated. As she said, however,  the fluid didn’t have any characteristics of urine. However,  nor was it the fluid that she recognized as coming out from her vagina when she was really turned on.

But without even needing to understand what the fluid was, she said she was in awe of her squirting orgasms, caused, she thinks, by “the angle and size of his fingers”. 

There are plenty of stories about squirting orgasms which resemble this on the website – the question is, do they mean anything? I think they do, because they are consistent and (assuming they aren’t written by men fantasizing about what women might do during a squirting orgasm), some of them have a certain level of authenticity.

For example, here’s a description of how a woman woke up one day with her boyfriend feeling horny, and they started trying sex in different positions. She said she was “on fire, living in the moment, not thinking about anything but pleasure”. Somehow she knew or felt instinctively that she was going to go to a place she’d never been before – then she started feeling that special spot inside vagina – it was her G spot being stimulated.

In the past, she says, all her orgasms had come from clitoral stimulation, but this she knew this was different as soon as she began to feel it. This sensation was so powerful in fact that she pulled herself away from his penis, and as she did so, she felt a liquid squirting from her vagina.

You might have seen videos of female ejaculation on the Internet where the woman shakes uncontrollably as she has an orgasm and ejaculates.

And indeed this woman reports the exact same thing – shaking and squirting. The interesting thing is that she says it didn’t feel like she was urinating. And indeed, she wasn’t.

So what happened next? Well, she started to analyse the experience and realized that she’d helped herself to enjoy squirting orgasms by “letting go” (of inhibitions), and by “fully diving into the sensation”.

What’s more, she let go of fear, shame and worry about what was happening, and simply allowed herself to feel the love, the passion and the sensations of the moment.

Another account describes how a man suggested to a woman that her problem with sex was lack of orgasm. They weren’t having much sex, and she wasn’t having many orgasms, although she was able to bring herself off using an Hitachi magic wand.

Sure, she says, she’d heard of the phenomenon of female ejaculation, and even seen the videos of squirting orgasms. (You know the ones – gushing liquid pouring out from between a screaming girl’s legs.)

As she says, these movies certainly looked interesting, but ejaculation, gushing or squirting was a completely foreign concept to her. At the time she wasn’t even having regular orgasms.

And then things changed. She met a man. And even though he wasn’t very attractive physically, she found the chemistry between them to be electric. Indeed, it was “f*cking magical”.

During their first sexual encounter, she had eight orgasms. Her body loved him from the start. She was astonished and speechless, her body was revealing her ability to have orgasms, and it did things she’s never expected or experienced before – including squirting.

In fact, she squirted copiously. Curious, she tasted the liquid, which was clear, colourless, odourless, and a little sweet. Yes, as all the experts tell us – definitely not pee.

Later, this man, who had prompted her body to experience female ejaculation, became her boyfriend and helped her to explore the phenomenon of squirting orgasms in different ways. 

This is the Amrita of which the Tantric therapists and practitioners have known for long time – Amrita meaning divine nectar.

And, oddly enough, she relates the story of her visit to a gynecologist, who offered no explanation about what was happening except to observe that “once you become squirter, you’re always a squirter”. Oh…..

Our intrepid journalist also tells us that she now empties her bladder before sex to be sure she’s not urinating.

Yet the amount of fluid ejaculated can be rather shocking. It is, she says, all about bearing down when “the sensation” comes instead of clenching up. And, she adds, a woman needs to feel safe with her partner and completely relaxed with him (or I guess, her) – because this is a process which involves letting go and being vulnerable.

Video – Squirting

Oral Sex: How To Make A Girl Squirt

What we call “giving head” is a term used for pleasuring your partner – that means bringing her to orgasm – using your lips, tongue and mouth on the genitals – specifically on her clitoris and vaginal opening.

How to enjoy giving head

Naturally enough, when you try this you will find both of you enjoy the experience, because it’s natural for men to be aroused by oral sex, and it’s possibly easier for women to reach orgasm.

You see, unlike men, women can (and do) go on and have more sexual pleasure after they’ve reached orgasm – and their descent from the heights of orgasm to normal levels of arousal can be quite slow.

Hygiene Is Important

So when a man is good at pleasuring a woman orally, he may find that she wants to have intercourse with him after he’s brought her to orgasm. Either way, this is a very intimate experience that can bond a couple and bring them much closer together. However for many men – and indeed a lot of women – one of the problems here is that there is a perception that female genitals can be offensively smelly or taste and pleasant.

The truth of the matter is different – this is simply not the case: it’s only when the genitals aren’t clean that they can smell  a little unpleasant. So take a quick shower together before sexual activity, and that can make the whole experience very pleasurable for both parties. Then the woman can relax, not worrying about whether she’s clean or not, and the man can enjoy licking her in this most intimate of all places.

Many men will find that this oral pleasure – oral sex or cunnilingus – is very arousing.

Indeed, people have said that it’s actually quite normal for a man to reach orgasm when he’s giving a woman oral pleasure. And many men feel very attuned to the sexual arousal of your partner as they pleasure a woman in this way.  And, surprisingly, it is possible for man to reach orgasm – simply through the arousal that he experiences as he is licking his partner’s vulva. She, too, becomes more and more aroused. That’s because her arousal will tend to follow his, and vice versa. It’s positive feedback! However, good sex isn’t just about oral sex – the real point about this is that it’s a good prelude to intercourse for both men and women like.

For most men, the importance of this approach is that you can bring a woman to orgasm easily.  She will then be ready for and maybe eager to enjoy intercourse, which will allow you your release. This means there is no danger of her going unsatisfied, that is to say, not having an orgasm, if you ejaculate too quickly.

Continued here.

female ejaculation, how to give a woman an orgasm, how to make a woman squirt

The Ultimate Female Pleasure? Female Ejaculation

BACKGROUND TO FEMALE EJACULATION

The Art Of Gushing Orgasms!

There are thousands of articles on squirting orgasms on the internet. This could make you believe that knowing how to make a woman squirt is a matter of massive importance.

But squirting orgasms are simply the release of fluid from a woman’s vulva at orgasm. In fact, to squirt is quite natural.

How To Enjoy Squirting!

Discover The Simplest, Quickest and Easiest Way To Give Your Partner A Squirting Orgasm!

Click Below To Find Out How To Do It
(Warning: this free video all about G spot stimulation is NSFW and loud)

And since it feels great and it’s sexually exciting for a woman and her partner, what’s not to like? And besides all that, it’s fun to try to make a woman squirt.

So, why not try it? We’ve got all the information you might need to help you enjoy squirting orgasms for the first time, right here! And if you’re a man we can show you how to make a woman squirt, either for the first time or the hundredth time.

By the way, these wet orgasms are sometimes referred to as female ejaculation, or “gushing” orgasms. Here’s a picture of a woman who knows how make herself squirt.

For some people, that’s not enough. The curious, the scientific, and the perfectionists among us, all seem to want to know what causes a gushing or squirting orgasm!

And especially, people want to know, what’s the fluid that’s released when a woman reaches orgasm?

Research Proves Nothing About Squirting Orgasms

Over the last 20 years, the internet’s provided more and more airspace for the phenomenon of squirting orgasms, and it’s now become something like a sexual fad.

Knowing how to make a woman squirt is seen by men as proof of their partner’s orgasm and proof of female pleasure. (Many women do say it goes along with an intensified experience of orgasm.)

What Happens When A Woman Squirts or Ejaculates Fluid at Orgasm?

To start with, a lot of people think there are at least two kinds of ejaculation. First, a small amount of creamy white fluid which comes out of the urethra  during extreme sexual arousal and orgasm.

And second, a thinner, clearer liquid which probably emerges from the urethra in larger quantities during squirting orgasms.

So what’s the truth? Around a woman’s urethra there’s some tissue which resembles the prostate gland tissue of men. This is variously known as the paraurethral sponge, the female prostate, or the Skene’s glands.

Many people believe that the fluid discharged in large quantities during female ejaculation – i.e. squirting orgasms –  comes from this “prostatic” tissue.

And there is some research which indicates that female ejaculate has some of the same components as male ejaculatory fluid or semen.

But recently there has been a study which seems to prove this is not so. This research suggests the larger quantities of liquid emerging from the urethra when a woman squirts come from the bladder. This liquid is of a different chemical composition to “normal” urine.

The Truth About A Woman Squirting?

Gushing or squirting orgasms have gained a reputation for being very powerful. They seem to be some kind of enhanced orgasm.  Certainly the experience of being with a woman who squirts is very arousing. This may explain why men so much want to know how to make women squirt. Perhaps it’s a male pride thing, as in, “See what I made her do!”

But what do women who experience squirting orgasms, and the men who want to make them squirt, really feel?

Fun and pleasure is one obvious answer….. and intense female orgasm is another. It can be a peak sexual experience to see your female partner squirming in the grip of a powerful, very wet orgasm.

Want To Produce A Woman’s Squirting Orgasm?

Here’s How…

Most of the instructions about how to produce squirting orgasms suggest you start by putting fingertip pressure onto the area of the G spot. This is about an inch or two inside the vagina, on the upper wall, as a woman lies on her back. If she is sufficiently aroused, when she “bears down” at the point of orgasm, she’ll ejaculate fluid.

These instructions alter the angle at which the urethra enters the bladder. This apparently makes it much more difficult for a woman to retain urine.

So, yes, there could be an element of urination in gushing. But the fluid released during a squirting orgasm never smells like urine, nor does it look like it. You might therefore think that learning how to make a woman squirt is merely harmless fun.

Even so, if female ejaculation does turn out to be urination by any other name, there’s no harm in that.

Whatever it is, it can be very exciting for a woman to release this fluid. You only have to read what women say about squirting orgasms to see that they feel good. And  if both partners agree to try and make squirting happen, this can be a wonderful way of expressing your sexuality. It can be very arousing for woman and man alike to make a woman come in this way.

So with that said, it’s important to realize something. When a woman ejaculates clear fluid in volume, what comes out does seem to be dilute pee or urine.

The study which most people have taken as proof of this was conducted on seven women, who were all experienced squirters.

The researchers used ultrasound techniques to see if their bladders were full before and after orgasm.

Long story short, the women’s bladders appeared to partly fill with fluid before orgasm. After the woman had squirted, their bladders were empty.

But that isn’t the whole story.

It transpires that the fluid is different to “normal” urine. It contains some chemicals which are reminiscent of prostatic fluid, and it’s more dilute than most urine.

As it passes down the urethra, fluid from the Skene’s glands or prostatic tissue can mix in with the urine. So you might expect some difference in chemical composition to “normal” pee.

But even if that is correct, it doesn’t satisfy some women. They are adamant that the fluid they ejaculate in large quantities when they are made to squirt is NOT urine.

On balance, I think the evidence shows that the fluid which emerges during squirting or gushing is indeed urine. Chemical analysis and bladder ultrasound does seem to confirm that. But who knows? Tomorrow is another day!

Enjoy Squirting? Don’t Stop Squirting!

There’s a sense on the Internet that the scientists who investigate the nature of female ejaculate are spoiling people’s fun.

I mean, being told that you’re peeing during sex could be off-putting for some people. I get that. But the release of urine during orgasm can be very exciting, both psychologically and physically.

The urethra is full of sensitive nerve endings, for one thing. For another, the emotional sense of release and letting go when “ejaculating” can be  deeply profound and satisfying. This is a sense of surrendering to the body’s urge to release and let go, all of which adds to the excitement of sex.

Even if it’s just a physical thing caused by the angle of the bladder changing so that it’s harder to hold urine in, and thus contractions of the muscles at orgasm tend to promote the release of urine as a strong jet – well, so what?

Surely it’s much more important that people simply enjoy themselves during sex?

Video – Female Ejaculation

And by the way, don’t mention it, but there are quite a lot of women who need to pee before sex to ensure that they don’t release urine at the moment of orgasm. That’s called coital incontinence.

I guess if you think hygiene is top of the list of things you need to maintain during sex, then it’s not gonna be too exciting for you to squirt!

On the other hand, if the release of large quantities of fluid turns you on, and you are enjoying squirting orgasms – why not? Enjoy. Life’s too short to worry about it.

Another point of view

Way back when, Gary Schubach wrote an article on female ejaculation.

His research wasn’t very scientific, but all credit – he was trying to find out the constituents in female ejaculation. Or, as he put it, “the experiment focused on the nature, composition and source of female urethral expulsions during sexual arousal.”

He discovered that most of the fluid expelled by the women in this study came from their bladders. This, even though their bladders had been drained before sex! These women still expelled between 50 and 900 ml of fluid at the point of orgasm.

And – here’s the thing – there wasn’t much urea or creatinine in the expelled fluid. Those two things are what make up much of the chemicals in ordinary pee.

So the inference, as other research has shown, is that what’s expelled in a squirting orgasm isn’t normal urine. Somehow there’s a chemical process or change – or something – during sexual stimulation which changes the nature of the fluid expelled during squirting.

Schubach confirmed that the milky white mucus-like fluid comes down the urethra from the paraurethral glands and ducts during sexual excitement. So could it be that this fluid is mixing with fluid coming from the bladder?

It continues to be a controversy, which is a shame, as it distracts from the fact that knowing how to make a woman squirt might be a great way of enhancing sexual pleasure.

A final word (for the moment)

Despite these scientific studies, there are still plenty of women who claim that female ejaculatory fluid in large quantities comes out of the vagina, and it’s not like pee and it’s not like prostatic fluid.

The Tantric experts have a word for it – they call it Amrita or nectar of the gods – and it’s not urine. Female Ejaculation, they say, is a sacred process, and probably very different from squirting.

Female ejaculatory fluid is surrounded by this esoteric and slightly secret sense of a special gift to women who channel the energy of the gods. This link to the Divine Feminine makes female ejaculation even more mysterious.

She writes “Amrita is one of the greatest wonders of the world. People have tried to measure it, examine it, explain it, figure it out. There is no way to measure, or explain, the divine.”

Does this attitude to squirting orgasms help or hinder the debate? Does it help men or women who wish to know how to make a woman squirt?

Perhaps you have to make your own mind up!

So: female ejaculation of Amrita may be something else. There’s a summary of some aspects of the argument here.

By the way, it has to be said that most people who have tasted or smelled Amrita say it really does smell wonderful and taste good. And the quantity produced varies considerably – some women can soak the bed, other produce a dribble.

But really, in the end, does it matter what the fluid is?

Video – More On Squirting

how to bring a woman to orgasm, how to give a woman an orgasm, how to make a woman come

The Art Of Easy Orgasm For Women

Although this may seem like an extremely obvious thing to say, it might be something that you haven’t actually thought about: the quality of a sexual relationship can be measured by the number of orgasms and the frequency of intercourse you have. And this may directly control the level of sexual pleasure that you and your partner people enjoy.

So far, so good. That might not be such a surprising conclusion. But the research gets more interesting. It seems people who have a deeply satisfying sexual relationship (as measured by the criteria mentioned above) also have a good relationship in all other areas of their life. In fact, number of orgasms in the bedroom seems directly related to pleasure and harmony outside it.

This is because a good sexual relationship produces feelings of intimacy and connection which spill over into the relationship in general.

This means the partners are engaged with each other in a relationship that’s intimate and provides a sense of connection. And then they are much more likely to be working harmoniously together. They are also much more likely to be getting along without arguments. And they are much more likely to be regarding each other with affection.

So what’s the message for us all here? I think it’s very obvious:  if your sexual relationship isn’t working particularly well, you need to find ways to improve it.

How To Improve Your Relationship

Most sexual relationships between most couples in this country could be improved by enjoying more orgasms.

Regrettably it has become all too common for sexual relationships to serve as a vehicle for the man’s sexual satisfaction whilst the woman remains unsatisfied. That means she has fewer orgasms than her man, or at least she doesn’t orgasm on a regular basis.

Why? An interesting question indeed. The answer probably relates in the main to men’s attitude to sex and women’s desire to please (or to avoid upsetting) their man by being too “sexually demanding”.

It’s also possible there is a reflection of our patriarchal society in this dynamic. Men have controlled women’s sexuality in the Western world (and even more so elsewhere) for a very long time.

However, we are moving into a new era of enlightenment and education, and we must make efforts to ensure that sexual satisfaction is shared equally between the two people in a couple.

This means there needs to be some way of ensuring  women reach orgasm on a regular basis. When this happens, women can share  the sexual satisfaction and pleasure in the wider relationship. As I said, this has been shown to come from orgasmic satisfaction and pleasure.

How To Fix Your Relationship and Have More Orgasms

This website is aimed solely at getting women into a place of greater sexual pleasure, i.e. greater orgasmic frequency: https://www.womencomingwithjoy.com

It reviews the history of orgasms in relationships between men and women. It also thoroughly discusses how women can come to orgasm much more often. This gives them a lot of sexual pleasure they might not otherwise experience.

You may think there are only a few ways to bring a woman to orgasm. Of course in one sense you’d be correct: there is clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, and, for the experts, G spot and cervical stimulation.

But that’s not the point I’m getting at! There are numerous ways in which a woman’s erogenous zones can be stimulated by a man to give a woman great orgasms and lots of sexual pleasure. The least successful of these, as you may know, is intercourse.

Very few women reach orgasm during intercourse. There are several reasons for this.

The first is that in general most women come through clitoral stimulation. But the clitoris receives very little stimulation during intercourse, unless the couple take the time and trouble to use the coital alignment technique (read about it here). This is specifically designed to provide clitoral stimulation.

The next problem is that men (in general) ejaculate so quickly that they aren’t able to provide enough stimulation to their woman. This means that even if she could reach an orgasm during intercourse with prolonged lovemaking, she doesn’t do so. (Men: discover ways to slow down ejaculation using the stop start technique here.)

It’s a controversial subject even now whether women have clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. (They do.) But leaving that issue aside, it’s fair to say that most men’s quick ejaculation brings intercourse to an end long before a woman could have a chance of reaching orgasm even if she was able to.

Also, intercourse duration is very much determined by how long it takes the man to come (ejaculate). In other words, sex between heterosexual couples generally comes to an end when the man ejaculates. This is because most men lose interest in sex after they have ejaculated.

So the difference between men and women in terms of sexual arousal and satisfaction is considerable. A lot of women who reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation will then want vaginal penetration.

There’s a clear message here: if a man makes a woman come before he climaxes (however that is achieved), she will get pleasure. If he engages in intercourse, ejaculates, and then sex finishes, she will most likely not get pleasure. She will be unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

However, all of this knowledge is useless unless you know some techniques that can actually work for you as a couple. Techniques which will allow you to make a woman come and have pleasurable sex. Or even  orgasmic bliss!

So I suggest you have a look here: this is a repository of techniques for achieving sexual pleasure. It may not be  a complete account of how to bring a woman to orgasm, or how to make a woman come, but it’s certainly a big step in the right direction.

It covers many of the aspects of sexuality which men and women don’t really know so much about – even if they’ve been in a relationship for some time.

By the way, why don’t men and women discuss sex on a regular and intimate basis? Well, that’s another issue! What we can say with great confidence is this: when sex is going well, and providing a couple with satisfaction and pleasure, they’re much more likely to be able to talk about personally intimate issues. And then they are much more likely to have the means to resolve any difficulties.

how to give a woman an orgasm, sexual satisfaction

What Does Sexual Satisfaction Mean to You?

Sexual Satisfaction

I guess most men would say that sexual satisfaction is defined by whether or not they have an orgasm – and perhaps by the power and intensity of that orgasm.

And I would guess men think that knowing how to give a woman an orgasm is a vital part of sexual satisfaction.

But would the same be true for women? Do they think that knowing how to give a man an orgasm is satisfying?

And as a man, making love to women, did you ever stop to consider what might make sex satisfying for your partner?

In another post on this blog you can read some things about women’s attitudes to sex which you might surprise you. Did you know, for example, about the “orgasm gap” between men and women?

Understanding Meaning

To investigate what people mean when they talk about “sexual satisfaction”, Sara I McClelland of the University of Michigan asked 40 US participants a series of questions to determine their satisfaction on various aspects of sex including their emotions, the quality of the relationship, and how focused they were on their partner as opposed to how focused they were on orgasm during sex. 

You see, it’s  all very well doing a piece of research and simply assuming you know what “sexual satisfaction” means, but unless you ask real people what they think it means, you might not be measuring anything real at all. 

Also, it’s pretty damn’ obvious that sexual experiences and relationships are inextricably linked to the cultural context in which they take place – for example, what’s acceptable in one society is far from acceptable in another society.

For example, knowing how to make a woman come by means of cunnilingus is commonplace in the west but some religions forbid this way of pleasing a woman in bed.

Pleasuring a woman in bed is easy
What she thinks of as satisfaction may be very different from what he thinks of as satisfaction!

Sexual Satisfaction Is Not Just About Giving A Woman An Orgasm

So, sexual satisfaction can definitely mean different things to different people. Even so, we all tend to assume that we know what it means (orgasmic pleasure or frequency, perhaps).

Indeed, studies which have been done in the past simply set out to establish the answers to questions such as “How sexually satisfied are you?” This question can become meaningless quite quickly. For one thing, as we’ve already mentioned, the socio-political culture influences what people think of as indicating sexual satisfaction.

What Makes You Satisfied?

 Previous work has shown that men define sexual satisfaction in relation to how often they have intercourse, as well as the difference between how often they want intercourse and how often they get it.

Women, by contrast, define sexual satisfaction in terms of how often intercourse happens, but beyond that, trust and mutual enjoyment are essential before a woman will feel that she’s enjoyed sexual satisfaction.

To put it bluntly, men’s sexual satisfaction tends to depend less on relationships and context, and more on the experience of orgasm, than women’s.

This is not to imply that emotional factors are completely absent from men’s sexual satisfaction, but it’s important to note that men regard the outcome of intercourse as more important, while women seem to regard the context of intercourse as a direct factor in sexual satisfaction.

And then you have lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and “questioning” men and women whose view of what constitutes sexual satisfaction may be different again.

At this point you might be forgiven for thinking that this was becoming an incredibly complicated question – and in fact you’d be right!

How to make a woman come in fifteen minutes
What does she mean by sexual satisfaction? That her partner knows how to make a woman come? Or that he actually does so?

But by asking participants in the study a number of different questions related to different aspects of sexual satisfaction, and then establishing which factors are correlated with each other, it becomes possible to analyze what people mean by “sexual satisfaction” (and, by implication, sexual pleasure).

We’ve already mentioned that men seem to be much more orgasm-oriented than women.

This does not mean women regard having an orgasm during partnered sex as unimportant, but it may suggest that women think the effort their male partner puts into making a woman come (or into giving a woman an orgasm) is more important that the orgasm itself.

The questions in this study covered a wide range of possible sexual behaviours, as well as the feelings that might come from them, and the experiences which a couple could have before they felt sexually satisfied.

She also interviewed the participants so as to establish what helped them to distinguish satisfactory and unsatisfactory sexual experiences.

What did all this demonstrate?

First of all, for men, feeling masculine as a result of their sexual experience was very important.

In addition there were a number of specific emotional experiences which provided men with sexual satisfaction – these included feeling safe, letting one’s guard down, and trusting a partner. Being able to “let go” involved exploring aspects of sexual behaviour which might not be or feel safe in other situations – such as eroticized aggression.

For women, emotional closeness and trust as well as sex within a monogamous relationship were important to feel sexual satisfaction. Women also wanted to feel “merged” with a partner – another aspect of relational closeness. 

Another quality emphasized by women was that “feeling close” to a man was important, and the way they saw it, the closest they could get to a man was to feel him inside them. (So they might be less concerned about your ability to give a woman an orgasm than you thought…..)

When it comes to feelings of emotional closeness, women often report that their orgasm is less important than the man’s orgasm. And many women say that having an orgasm is not at all important for them to feel sexually satisfied.

(How interesting to read this,  in the light of another article on this blog which talks about the orgasm gap between men and women.)

The Same Old, Same Old

There’s another factor for the men here:  the importance of “giving a woman an orgasm”. The research showed it’s important for men to feel they’ve pleased their partner by giving a woman an orgasm or making a woman come.

Among the women, making sure that the man they were with was satisfied seemed to be important to their sense of sexual satisfaction.

To sum up this aspect of the research, men are happy to give a woman an orgasm, and they experience this as increasing their own sexual satisfaction (they speak of an increase in energy or an emotional payoff).

Women, however, especially young women, tend to describe partner satisfaction (specifically giving a partner an orgasm) as a key part of their own sexual satisfaction.

It’s hardly surprising that both men and women get some reinforcement of their sense of masculinity and femininity from prescribed sex roles, because nature evolved us this to be that way.

Video – Sexual intelligence

What’s slightly more surprising is the degree to which women get satisfaction from giving their partner an orgasm, rather than enjoying one themselves.

This may be something to do with sexual maturity, because the tendency was more marked in younger women than in older women.

However, with a clear understanding of gender differences, researchers can move ahead knowing what people mean when they talk about sexual satisfaction.

A final important note:  there is increasingly marked criticism of our sexual mores by feminist researchers who say that orgasm plays a role in maintaining patriarchal privilege in heterosexual relationships.

As an example of this from the study above, one man who was in a relationship said that if his partner had an orgasm he would feel “like he’d done his job.”

This is an interesting indication of how orgasm has become a kind of commodity within a relationship rather than a means to sexual satisfaction in its own right.

To sum it all up, what constitutes sexual satisfaction is as variable as individuals themselves.

For some, orgasm is an important component of sexual satisfaction; for others it is not.

Unsurprisingly, emotional closeness and emotional satisfaction tends to feature more in the sexual satisfaction of women than men.

A reinforcement in an individual’s sense of masculinity or femininity is also associated with sexual satisfaction.

And emotional closeness is both a route to satisfying sex and an outcome of satisfying sex. Perhaps this is hardly surprising when you consider how a woman has to be relaxed and trusting of her partner to be able to enter a space where the man knows how to give a woman an orgasm.

Last but not least, the research demonstrated the importance of the context of satisfaction as opposed to the simple measure of how much or how often someone is sexually “satisfied”.