Although this may seem like an extremely obvious thing to say, it might be something that you haven’t actually thought about: the quality of a sexual relationship can be measured by the number of orgasms and the frequency of intercourse you have. And this may directly control the level of sexual pleasure that you and your partner people enjoy.
So far, so good. That might not be such a surprising conclusion. But the research gets more interesting. It seems people who have a deeply satisfying sexual relationship (as measured by the criteria mentioned above) also have a good relationship in all other areas of their life. In fact, number of orgasms in the bedroom seems directly related to pleasure and harmony outside it.
This is because a good sexual relationship produces feelings of intimacy and connection which spill over into the relationship in general.
This means the partners are engaged with each other in a relationship that’s intimate and provides a sense of connection. And then they are much more likely to be working harmoniously together. They are also much more likely to be getting along without arguments. And they are much more likely to be regarding each other with affection.
So what’s the message for us all here? I think it’s very obvious: if your sexual relationship isn’t working particularly well, you need to find ways to improve it.
How To Improve Your Relationship
Most sexual relationships between most couples in this country could be improved by enjoying more orgasms.
Regrettably it has become all too common for sexual relationships to serve as a vehicle for the man’s sexual satisfaction whilst the woman remains unsatisfied. That means she has fewer orgasms than her man, or at least she doesn’t orgasm on a regular basis.
Why? An interesting question indeed. The answer probably relates in the main to men’s attitude to sex and women’s desire to please (or to avoid upsetting) their man by being too “sexually demanding”.
It’s also possible there is a reflection of our patriarchal society in this dynamic. Men have controlled women’s sexuality in the Western world (and even more so elsewhere) for a very long time.
However, we are moving into a new era of enlightenment and education, and we must make efforts to ensure that sexual satisfaction is shared equally between the two people in a couple.
This means there needs to be some way of ensuring women reach orgasm on a regular basis. When this happens, women can share the sexual satisfaction and pleasure in the wider relationship. As I said, this has been shown to come from orgasmic satisfaction and pleasure.
How To Fix Your Relationship and Have More Orgasms
This website is aimed solely at getting women into a place of greater sexual pleasure, i.e. greater orgasmic frequency: https://www.womencomingwithjoy.com
It reviews the history of orgasms in relationships between men and women. It also thoroughly discusses how women can come to orgasm much more often. This gives them a lot of sexual pleasure they might not otherwise experience.
You may think there are only a few ways to bring a woman to orgasm. Of course in one sense you’d be correct: there is clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, and, for the experts, G spot and cervical stimulation.
But that’s not the point I’m getting at! There are numerous ways in which a woman’s erogenous zones can be stimulated by a man to give a woman great orgasms and lots of sexual pleasure. The least successful of these, as you may know, is intercourse.
Very few women reach orgasm during intercourse. There are several reasons for this.
The first is that in general most women come through clitoral stimulation. But the clitoris receives very little stimulation during intercourse, unless the couple take the time and trouble to use the coital alignment technique (read about it here). This is specifically designed to provide clitoral stimulation.
The next problem is that men (in general) ejaculate so quickly that they aren’t able to provide enough stimulation to their woman. This means that even if she could reach an orgasm during intercourse with prolonged lovemaking, she doesn’t do so. (Men: discover ways to slow down ejaculation using the stop start technique here.)
It’s a controversial subject even now whether women have clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. (They do.) But leaving that issue aside, it’s fair to say that most men’s quick ejaculation brings intercourse to an end long before a woman could have a chance of reaching orgasm even if she was able to.
Also, intercourse duration is very much determined by how long it takes the man to come (ejaculate). In other words, sex between heterosexual couples generally comes to an end when the man ejaculates. This is because most men lose interest in sex after they have ejaculated.
So the difference between men and women in terms of sexual arousal and satisfaction is considerable. A lot of women who reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation will then want vaginal penetration.
There’s a clear message here: if a man makes a woman come before he climaxes (however that is achieved), she will get pleasure. If he engages in intercourse, ejaculates, and then sex finishes, she will most likely not get pleasure. She will be unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
However, all of this knowledge is useless unless you know some techniques that can actually work for you as a couple. Techniques which will allow you to make a woman come and have pleasurable sex. Or even orgasmic bliss!
So I suggest you have a look here: this is a repository of techniques for achieving sexual pleasure. It may not be a complete account of how to bring a woman to orgasm, or how to make a woman come, but it’s certainly a big step in the right direction.
It covers many of the aspects of sexuality which men and women don’t really know so much about – even if they’ve been in a relationship for some time.
By the way, why don’t men and women discuss sex on a regular and intimate basis? Well, that’s another issue! What we can say with great confidence is this: when sex is going well, and providing a couple with satisfaction and pleasure, they’re much more likely to be able to talk about personally intimate issues. And then they are much more likely to have the means to resolve any difficulties.