Men: Want To Know How To Give A Woman An Orgasm?
As any man who’s been in a relationship with a woman is likely to understand, women don’t always appreciate the male approach to problems – fixing, or in other words, doing something.
Sometimes women just want to talk, share and feel their emotions. So if you want to know how to make a woman come, it’s important to avoid that very masculine approach to sex in general and pleasuring her in particular. That approach is treating your sexual experience with her like it’s all some kind of a challenge to make her orgasm! Let’s look at a better approach, one guaranteed to give her pleasure (and give her an orgasm).
How To Give A Woman An Orgasm – Step By Step
1. Start By Making Her Feel Good
If you want to make a woman come, you need to adopt an approach to sex which makes her feel like you’re right there with her. She needs to know you’re sharing the experience, loving every minute of it, enjoying the sensuality, and feeling intimate with her.
But good gracious, I hear you say, you’re a man, how can you do that emotional stuff and make a woman come at the same time?
Well, it’s possible. The answer is to be so confident in your sexual skills with a woman that you (and she) can relax. That way you can bring her off AND you’ll feel close to her at the same time. And when you really know how to give a woman an orgasm, she’ll feel your confidence and respond to it.
2. Stop Thinking About “How To Achieve Female Orgasm”
If you look around the Internet, much of material that’s been published about how to make a woman come, how to help her achieve orgasm, is very much along the lines of an instruction manual.
But knowing how to give a girl an orgasm isn’t just about knowing the fastest way to bring her to orgasm. It’s about knowing about sexual technique as well as knowing how to make her happy. It’s about being sure you know how to please her in bed physically, and satisfy her emotionally both in and out of bed.
3. Be Flexible – There Are Many Ways You Can Help A Woman Achieve Orgasm.
First and foremost, if you want to make a woman come in the bedroom, start with what we could call “unconscious foreplay” outside the bedroom. In other words, show her how much you love her and how much you want to share pleasure with her in those subtle ways, the gestures which mean a great deal to any woman.
You might want to leave a romantic love note in her underwear drawer which she’s going to find after you’ve left for work, You might want to send her flowers unexpectedly, so she gets a delivery while you’re out of the house. You might want to send her a romantic text message. You might want to spend more time kissing and hugging her, so that she knows how valuable she is to you.
Just being together and intimate is a great way to start out when you’re aiming to please a woman by bringing her to orgasm. That’s a great (and easy) kind of foreplay! If you incorporate this kind of foreplay into every aspect of your daily life, it can be fun! And this is the kind of romancing that a woman needs to make her feel sexual.
You know that old cliche about men needing sex to feel loving? Well it’s true, and so is the other one, about women needing to be loved to feel sexy.
But what about the kind of foreplay you’d enjoy with a woman IN bed?
4. Use Foreplay As Your Ally In Making Her Orgasm
Most men find foreplay a trifle tedious, but it doesn’t have to be. For example, did you know that most women find kissing extremely sexy? That women love to kiss and be kissed, provided it’s done skilfully and with love and care? Studies have shown that kissing your partner reduces the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your system.
And to revert to an instruction manual approach for a minute, get this: as you kiss her, tilt your head to the right. Apparently scientists in Germany found this has more of a positive impact on a woman than any other orientation. Though this seems somewhat improbable, it apparently makes her think of you as more caring. This causes her brain to produce more oxytocin, which is the hormone that influences bonding. Who knew?
Another thing. When you have her in a romantic, ahem, situation, you’re not simply going to kiss her mouth, are you? Women’s bodies are sensitive all over, and they respond well to gentle and sensitive kissing. By arousing her entire body, you are much more likely to be able to make her come. Here’s some advice from Cosmo on this subject.
5. Understand The Techniques Of Sexual Pleasuring
Of course the main objective here is to ensure you know how to give a woman an orgasm. So, let’s suppose you’re with her in an intimate situation and you’re beginning to take off some clothes.
Each time you, or she, takes off some article of clothing, stand back for a moment and look at her body and admire it. Women can be very self-conscious a woman about their appearance, particularly in a sexual situation. This is because they constantly appraise how beautiful or attractive they are. They do this mostly in comparison to other women, but also in comparison to an internal standard of beauty.
Your woman wants and needs nothing more than to be appreciated, admired, reassured and cherished. She needs this not just once, but over and over again. By doing this you can make a woman feel confident about her body.
Keep telling her how beautiful her body is and how sexy and attractive she is… that will relax her mind and body and so make her more likely to come, to reach orgasm, easily.
And of course when she feels confident about her body, she’s also going to feel sexy. That’s because she can relax into her physicality, and open up to the possibility of reaching orgasm without fear of judgement from you.
You’ve probably heard many times that when you’re trying to make a woman come, when you’re trying to get a girl to orgasm, you don’t go straight for the parts of her body that might be most attractive to you: her breasts, clitoris, vulva and so on.
You need to exercise patience as you tease her. Work your way round to her vulva and breasts. Gently stroke up towards her vulva, veering off the last moment without touching it, for example.
This teasing is going to raise her anticipation and will get her more aroused. This is going to make her come more easily, and the more excited she is, the more powerful her orgasm will be!
When you finally do move from stroking her body to stroking her sexually sensitive areas, make sure you do it right. You have to know how to give a woman an orgasm so you’re confident in bed, remember?
6. Give Her Oral Pleasure Before Penetration!
You might be accustomed to turning her on, and then, just as she’s getting aroused, plunging into her, thrusting vigorously, and reaching your own orgasm quickly.
Now, although that might be an attractive recipe for your sexual menu, it’s not going to do very much for her. In fact it’s probably going to leave her “hanging”, aroused and unsatisfied, without an orgasm. And you really don’t want her to masturbate to orgasm after you’ve gone to sleep, do you? Do you? No, of course not…..
So here’s a good idea for you. The most reliable route to orgasm, the easiest way to bring a woman off, is to pleasure her with oral sex.
What each woman wants in the way of oral stimulation is more or less specific to her. This means you’re going to have to be sensitive to her responses. She’s going to show you if she likes what you’re doing through her bodily movements and the sounds she makes.
If she’s aroused she’ll probably raise her vulva towards your mouth. If you feel her body moving away from your mouth slightly, then you may need to change what you’re doing to turn her on more.
But if you hear her moaning, keep doing what you’re doing, and keep the pace steady. Unlike you, she’s going to want a steady rhythm of stimulation until she’s very near orgasm (then you can speed up).
If you can bring her off with oral pleasure (cunnilingus), and she’ll most likely be very grateful for that, because most women say that oral pleasure is their very favourite sexual activity.
The best estimate is that around 15% of women can reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone.
So, the simple truth is that if you want to make a woman come, if you want to give a woman an orgasm, you are most likely going to do it with oral or manual pleasuring before intercourse.
The great thing is that after she’s come she will probably welcome you into her body for intercourse! And you’ll enjoy intercourse much more because she’s aroused and satisfied, and her vagina will be warm, wet, and ready for penetration.
These are all of the techniques you really need . Use them wisely and you’ll never have any difficulty making a woman come. (If you want to read more about this approach, try Ian Kerner’s book, She Comes First.)