How To Make A Woman Come

Men: Want To Know How To Give A Woman An Orgasm?

As any man who’s been in a relationship with a woman is likely to understand, women don’t always appreciate the male approach to problems – fixing. Doing something.

Sometimes women just want to talk, share and feel their emotions.

So if you want to know how to give a woman an orgasm, it’s important to avoid that very masculine approach to making her come – that is,  treating your sexual experience with her like it’s some kind of a challenge or problem to be fixed.

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If You Want To Give Her An Orgasm, Start By Making Her Feel Good

If you want to make a woman come, you need to adopt an approach to sex which makes her feel like you’re right there with her. She needs to know you are sharing the experience, loving every minute of it, enjoying the sensuality, and feeling intimate with her.

But good gracious, I hear you say, you’re a man, how can you do that emotional stuff and give a woman an orgasm at the same time?

Well, it’s possible. The answer is to be so confident in your sexual skills with a woman that you can relax. That way you can bring her off AND you’ll feel close to her at the same time. And when you really know how to give a woman an orgasm, she’ll feel your confidence and respond to it.

What You Read About Female Orgasm May Not Help Much

If you look around the Internet, much of material that’s been published about how to make a woman come, how to help her achieve orgasm, is very much along the lines of an instruction manual.

But knowing how to give a girl an orgasm isn’t just about knowing the fastest way to bring her to orgasm. It’s about knowing how to make a woman come, as well as knowing how to make her happy. It’s about being sure you know how to please her in bed physically, and satisfy her emotionally both in and out of bed.

So let’s get started on this definitely non-instruction-manual approach to satisfying sex and pleasing a woman in bed.

There are many ways you can help a woman to reach orgasm.

But first and foremost among them is what we could call “unconscious foreplay”. In other words, you show her how much you love her and how much you want to share pleasure with her in subtle ways that mean a great deal to any woman.

You might want to leave a romantic love note in her underwear drawer which she’s going to find after you’ve left for work, or you might want to send her flowers unexpectedly, so she gets a delivery while you’re out of the house. You might want to send her a romantic text message, or to spend more time kissing and hugging her, so that she knows how valuable she is to you.

laughing couple cuddling in bed

Just being together and intimate is a great way to start out when you’re aiming to please a woman by bringing her to orgasm.That’s what we call good foreplay!

Most men find foreplay a trifle tedious, but it doesn’t have to be. If you incorporate foreplay into every aspect of your daily life, it can be fun!

This is the kind of romancing that a woman needs to make her feel sexual.

You know that old cliche about men needing sex to feel loving? Well it’s true, and so is the other one, about women needing to be loved to feel sexy.

So, moving on, did you know that most women find kissing extremely sexy? That women love to kiss, provided it’s done skilfully and with love and care? Studies have shown that kissing your partner reduces the level of cortisol in your system.

And to revert to an instruction manual approach for a minute, get this: as you kiss her, tilt your head to the right. Apparently scientists in Germany found this has more of a positive impact on a woman than any other orientation. Though this seems somewhat improbable, it apparently makes her think of you as more caring. This causes her brain to produce more oxytocin, which the hormone that influences bonding. Who knew?

Another thing. When you have her in a romantic, ahem, situation, you’re not simply going to kiss her mouth, are you? Women’s bodies are sensitive all over, and they respond well to gentle and sensitive kissing.

Sexual Pleasuring 

Of course the main objective here is to ensure you know how to give a woman an orgasm. So, let’s suppose you’re with her in an intimate situation and you’re beginning to take off some clothes.

Each time you, or she, takes off some article of clothing, stand back for a moment and look at her body and admire it. Women can be very self-conscious a woman about their appearance, particularly in a sexual situation. This is because they constantly appraise how beautiful or attractive they are, mostly in comparison to other women, but also in comparison to some internal standard of beauty that they live by.

Your woman wants and needs nothing more than to be appreciated, admired, reassured and cherished. She needs this not just once, but over and over again. By doing this you can make a woman feel confident about her body.

woman looking seductively at her man

Keep telling her how beautiful her body is and how sexy and attractive she is… that will relax her mind and body and so make her more likely to reach orgasm.And of course when she feels confident about her body, she’s also going to feel sexy. That’s because she can relax into her physicality, and open up to the possibility of reaching orgasm without fear of judgement from you.

You’ve probably heard many times that when you’re trying to make a woman come, when you’re trying to get a girl to orgasm, you don’t go straight for the parts of her body that might be most attractive to you – breasts, clitoris, vulva and so on.

You need to tease her, working your way round to her vulva and breasts, gently stroking up towards her vulva and then veering off the last minute, for example.

This teasing is going to raise her anticipation and will get her more aroused. This is going to make her orgasm more easily, and the more excited she is, the more powerful her orgasm will be!

When you finally do move from stroking her body to stroking her sexually sensitive areas, make sure you do it right. You have to know how to give a woman an orgasm so you’re confident in bed, remember?

Take Your Time Before Penetration!

You might be accustomed to turning her on, and then, just as she’s getting aroused, plunging into her, thrusting vigorously, and reaching your own orgasm quickly.

Now, although that might be an attractive recipe for your sexual menu, it’s not going to do very much for her. In fact it’s probably going to leave her “hanging”, aroused and unsatisfied, without an orgasm. And you really don’t want her to masturbate to orgasm after you’ve gone to sleep, do you? Do you? No, of course not…..

So the most reliable route to orgasm, the easiest way to bring a woman off is to enjoy oral sex with her.

However, what a woman wants in the way of oral clitoral stimulation is probably specific to her, so you’re going to have to be sensitive to her responses. She’s going to show you if she likes what you’re doing by means of her bodily movements and the sounds she makes.

If she’s aroused she’ll probably raise her vulva towards your mouth. If you feel her body moving away from your mouth slightly, then you may need to change what you’re doing to turn her on more.

But if you hear her moaning, keep doing what you’re doing, and keep the pace steady. Unlike you, she’s going to want a steady rhythm of stimulation until she’s very near orgasm (then you can speed up).

Stimulation of the clitoris is a great way to bring a woman to orgasm!
Oral stimulation of her body can be a great way to bring a woman to orgasm. Only a small percentage of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone.

If you can bring her off with oral pleasure (cunnilingus), and she’ll most likely be very grateful for that, because most women say that oral pleasure is their very favourite sexual activity.

The best estimate is that around 15% of women can reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. 

So, the simple truth is that if you want to make a woman come, if you want to give a woman an orgasm, you are most likely going to do it with oral or manual pleasuring before intercourse.

The great thing is that after she’s come she will probably welcome you into her body! And you’ll enjoy intercourse much more because she’s aroused and satisfied, and her vagina will be warm, wet, and ready for penetration.

Here are some more important pointers!

First, a lot of sexual practice (i.e. having a lot of sexual intercourse) can help a man learn how to make a woman come consistently.

Years of intercourse seem to increase a woman’s attainment of orgasm. But the elaborateness of the sexual stimulation delivered to women is not correlated with sexual responsiveness…. now, why would that be?

For example, the number of intercourse positions a couple use and the length of foreplay had no particular correlations with how to make a woman orgasm consistently.

photo of a woman reaching orgasmBeyond knowing a bit about a woman’s erogenous zones, the factors facilitating sexual arousal seem to be largely emotional and interpersonal, involving feelings of intimacy, closeness, trust, dependability and love.

Even so, women with orgasm difficulties may criticize their sex partners for not being sufficiently expert to stimulate them properly, for not knowing how to make them come.

Many questions about female sexuality are still not really understood. These questions include:

1. How does culture affect the social factors which make a woman orgasm more or less easily? 

image of women in different culturesA study here would provide an opportunity for directly evaluating the idea that cultural factors play a role in a woman finding she cannot orgasm easily.

Being unable to ejaculate is sometimes a problem for men, but it is not a condition which has any obvious counterpart in women, where anorgasmia or low libido are probably the most common sexual dysfunctions.

When a woman cannot climax she is much more likely not to have experienced her father as a dependable love object than a woman who reaches orgasm easily.

man making woman come - a western woman being made to come by her male partner3. A related question is around the possible role of the male partner: does he know how to make a woman come easily and quickly?

Her feelings about his lack of dependability as a love object may mean she cannot orgasm so easily.

A study on this would probably have to be carried out on married couples.

The attributes of the partner reflecting his dependability might well be correlated with his woman’s tendency to reach orgasm easily. You could evaluate the man with respect to traits such as conscientiousness and ability to identify with his woman, and you could also find out how much confidence she had in him.

Parallel to such inquiries, it would be informative to have a sample of men keep “diaries” in which they would record how often they know successfully made the woman come over a period of time. 

4 Does orgasm consistency decline when the partner is planning to be away from home for a while? Do crises in the family, such as illness of children or financial difficulties, make it more likely she cannot get off?

If a woman loses one of her close friends does this adversely affect her ability to get off by increasing her uncertainty about the dependability of objects?

Does successful achievement in life influence a woman’s orgasmic potential? Do periods of sexual deprivation make her less likely to get off? Check out this  personal account: I just do not know how to make a woman come!

5 How does sexual excitement build up to orgasmic levels?

One thing that certainly might make a difference to a woman’s capacity to reach orgasm is her husband’s ability to hold his ejaculation in check.

Any man who has a tendency to ejaculate too quickly should seek out help with some kind of program for premature ejaculation treatment which might enable him to last longer during intercourse before he ejaculates.

Furthermore, it might prove of value in helping to develop practical procedures that would enable a man to make a woman orgasm more easily.

6. What are possible treatment procedures for increasing orgasm consistency in women who have sexual response difficulties?

For example, one could compare joint counseling with a more complex therapy that focuses on the history of a woman’s relationships with her father.

7. How do different women experience their male sex partners when receiving clitoral or vaginal stimulation?

How much do the men know about how to make a woman climax? To what extent do sexual techniques and positions, and knowledge of female sexual anatomy and female sexual behavior, create a man’s ability to give her an orgasm?

Woman On Top Sex Positions Can Help A Woman Come

How To Make A Woman Come (Woman On Top Sex)!

There are many advantages of this sex position. The main ones are listed below. 

  • It is a very exciting sex position and gives a woman a good chance of reaching orgasm.
  • It will provide a woman with a sense of excitement and makes her feel she’s in control and powerful.
  • Changes her role from that of the submissive into that of the dominant partner and gives her more psychological power during sex.
  • She can control the speed and rhythm of sex.
  • The man can see his partner’s breasts, which is exciting for him.
  • The woman can initiate and lead during sex, and she can control the depth of thrusting. She can also find the exact position and alignment of her and her partner’s body which is most likely to make her come.
  • The man may relax and relinquish control – a refreshing experience for him, perhaps.

We all know how the basic woman on top sex position works: the woman straddles the man as he lies on his back. He know that his movements going to be limited, because he’s carrying her weight. This means that she can control the depth of thrusting, as well as the rhythm and speed of sex. As she can control how he moves against her, she is more likely to be able to ensure her clitoris or G spot receives enough stimulation for er to reach orgasm. This is indeed a position which is likely to make a woman come during intercourse. Read more about how to control a woman’s orgasm here.

For many women this degree of control is a completely new experience – and a very welcome one!

So how can this position help a woman come? Well, first of all, the partners can see each other. He can stroke her breasts, clitoris, back, and to some degree her buttocks, while she can play with his chest, upper body, and you can reach round and fondle his testicles.

The great advantage here is that the woman can move her hips in a variety of ways. First she can enjoy pelvic thrusting, or she can move her hips in a circular motion which will give the man a great deal of sexual excitement.

She can control the depth to which he enters her, so that she gets the exact stimulation she needs inside her vagina if she is able to reach orgasm from G spot stimulation.

If he has ejaculatory problems, this may be a successful way of helping him regain control over his ability to ejaculate in an average or normal time scale.

For men who have trouble controlling premature ejaculation, it may be preferable to reach for Lloyd Lester’s superb program on ejaculation control, known as Ejaculation by Command. You can read all about it if you click here www.the-relationship-works.com/program.html where you can see a full review of the system.

Variations of woman on top sex

The woman lies on top

One of the great advantages in woman on top sex is that the feelings can be very intense. Even better, the woman has the capacity to control how intense they are by closing her thighs or opening them wide. Sex may take place with the woman’s thighs outside the man’s, or the man’s thighs outside the woman’s.

This can produce extremely intense stimulation to the penis, and may well make a man ejaculate very quickly. (Advice on improving sex and controlling the speed of ejaculation can be found here.) It also limits the depth of penetration, which can be extremely useful for the woman if her man has very large penis.

Many other variations are possible when the woman leans forward or backwards. As you may well imagine, this alters the angle of the penis and vagina, and produces very different sensations for both partners. The great advantage is that the woman can find a position where her G spot is stimulated most intensely.

One of the problems that may arise during the sexual experimentation is that a man’s penis may be bent uncomfortably, particularly in position known as the reverse cowgirl.

The reverse cowgirl is when the woman is riding the man while facing away from him. Many men, particularly those whose penises are hard and erect and point directly upwards, will find the bending of the penis is too uncomfortable to sustain this sex position, in which case the woman should adopt the more conventional cowgirl position.

The woman on top faces towards the man

You can play with each other’s bodies – in particular the woman’s anus or the man’s balls are very accessible, and kissing and licking is enjoyable too – especially her breasts. This is a very interesting variation that goes far beyond simple mechanical sex – it’s a lovers embrace at every level: emotional, psychological and physical.

If each member of the couple has a degree of support, they can remain locked around each other for long periods of time, only moving enough to sustain man’s erection.

This can produce great intimacy, particular the couple can resist thrusting, as they enjoy talking, gazing at each other, and loving each other through mutual touch on all the available areas of the body.

In fact, it’s a great Tantric position. Which allows for profound energy flow and the connection between the partners.

A man’s viewpoint

As a man I have some strong opinions about woman on top sex. In fact, it’s actually one of my favorites. I love the sense of being able to relax from taking the dominant role during sex, underlying my partner to take charge. More to the point, of course, is the fact that this is a great position for helping a woman to come. Indeed, it is the only sexual position in which I can make a woman come during intercourse.

One of the things that women often don’t realize that men is that the burden of leading and controlling during sexual activity can be tedious and difficult after a while.

It’s a great experience for the woman to take charge, not only because she then has much more control over the way in which she reaches orgasm, but also because the man relinquishes responsibility for taking the woman towards orgasm.

Instead, he can just relax and enjoy the experience of being made love to buy his partner. Some women may not like this, claiming that it’s never the man’s job to make the woman come! My experience does, however, suggest that most women expect their man to give them an orgasm most of the time!

The way this has been justified to me is by women saying things like “it’s much more fun if you do it”.

Of course I have no objection to that — it’s very exciting, and even somewhat flattering, for a man when he takes woman to orgasm.

But the truth is that sex is a shared experience, and to make sure that’s the way it stays, sometimes the woman needs take charge. In fact, my partner actually enjoys taking charge in this way.

She has the power, when she can tease me by riding me slowly or quickly as she chooses; this power over a man is a wonderful thing for my woman, because she can take me to the brink of sexual ecstasy time after time after time, finally giving me enough stimulation so that I have a massive orgasm.

You see, men often feel they need to ejaculate as quickly as possible: certainly that’s what their instincts tell them to do! In reality, however, I find sex is much better if it takes a long time to build up towards orgasm.

Let’s not overlook something else of crucial importance here: women want the opportunity to be able to give pleasure to their men, and woman on top sex is a profoundly satisfying way to do it. So there are two sources of satisfaction here: the position itself lends itself to making a woman come, and she can also get pleasure from pleasuring her man – about which you can read more here!

Depending on whether you adopt the reverse cowgirl or the conventional cowgirl, the man has the pleasure of seeing the woman’s buttocks or her breasts, but in either case he’s guaranteed added excitement simply because he has such a good view of her body.

As she leans towards or away from him, his penis will experience different degrees of pressure & stimulation. This can provide more excitement, variation, and in the end more satisfaction. All in all, this sex position can satisfy everybody.

Have an orgasm during sex by controlling the pace of sex, the angle and depth of penetration, and the pressure on her clitoris, becomes a restful experience for the man. This time he can lie back and enjoy it! 

With a simple program of premature ejaculation exercises, the only program which can give you absolute control over your ejaculation, so letting you make love with total sexual mastery for just as long as you want, you can control your ejaculation and actually have complete control over your ejaculation – which means being able to choose when you ejaculate during sex!

The Art Of Easy Orgasm For Women

Although this may seem like an extremely obvious thing to say, it might be something that you haven’t actually thought about: the quality of a sexual relationship can be measured by the number of orgasms and the frequency of intercourse you have. And this may directly control the level of sexual pleasure that you and your partner people enjoy.

So far, so good. That might not be such a surprising conclusion. But the research gets more interesting. It seems people who have a deeply satisfying sexual relationship (as measured by the criteria mentioned above) also have a good relationship in all other areas of their life. In fact, number of orgasms in the bedroom seems directly related to pleasure and harmony outside it.

This is because a good sexual relationship produces feelings of intimacy and connection which spill over into the relationship in general.

This means the partners are engaged with each other in a relationship that’s intimate and provides a sense of connection. And then they are much more likely to be working harmoniously together. They are also much more likely to be getting along without arguments. And they are much more likely to be regarding each other with affection.

So what’s the message for us all here? I think it’s very obvious:  if your sexual relationship isn’t working particularly well, you need to find ways to improve it.

How To Improve Your Relationship

Most sexual relationships between most couples in this country could be improved by enjoying more orgasms.

Regrettably it has become all too common for sexual relationships to serve as a vehicle for the man’s sexual satisfaction whilst the woman remains unsatisfied. That means she has fewer orgasms than her man, or at least she doesn’t orgasm on a regular basis.

Why? An interesting question indeed. The answer probably relates in the main to men’s attitude to sex and women’s desire to please (or to avoid upsetting) their man by being too “sexually demanding”.

It’s also possible there is a reflection of our patriarchal society in this dynamic. Men have controlled women’s sexuality in the Western world (and even more so elsewhere) for a very long time.

However, we are moving into a new era of enlightenment and education, and we must make efforts to ensure that sexual satisfaction is shared equally between the two people in a couple.

This means there needs to be some way of ensuring  women reach orgasm on a regular basis. When this happens, women can share  the sexual satisfaction and pleasure in the wider relationship. As I said, this has been shown to come from orgasmic satisfaction and pleasure.

How To Fix Your Relationship and Have More Orgasms

This website is aimed solely at getting women into a place of greater sexual pleasure, i.e. greater orgasmic frequency: https://www.womencomingwithjoy.com

It reviews the history of orgasms in relationships between men and women. It also thoroughly discusses how women can come to orgasm much more often. This gives them a lot of sexual pleasure they might not otherwise experience.

You may think there are only a few ways to bring a woman to orgasm. Of course in one sense you’d be correct: there is clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation, and, for the experts, G spot and cervical stimulation.

But that’s not the point I’m getting at! There are numerous ways in which a woman’s erogenous zones can be stimulated by a man to give a woman great orgasms and lots of sexual pleasure. The least successful of these, as you may know, is intercourse.

Very few women reach orgasm during intercourse. There are several reasons for this.

The first is that in general most women come through clitoral stimulation. But the clitoris receives very little stimulation during intercourse, unless the couple take the time and trouble to use the coital alignment technique (read about it here). This is specifically designed to provide clitoral stimulation.

The next problem is that men (in general) ejaculate so quickly that they aren’t able to provide enough stimulation to their woman. This means that even if she could reach an orgasm during intercourse with prolonged lovemaking, she doesn’t do so. (Men: discover ways to slow down ejaculation using the stop start technique here.)

It’s a controversial subject even now whether women have clitoral orgasms and vaginal orgasms. (They do.) But leaving that issue aside, it’s fair to say that most men’s quick ejaculation brings intercourse to an end long before a woman could have a chance of reaching orgasm even if she was able to.

Also, intercourse duration is very much determined by how long it takes the man to come (ejaculate). In other words, sex between heterosexual couples generally comes to an end when the man ejaculates. This is because most men lose interest in sex after they have ejaculated.

So the difference between men and women in terms of sexual arousal and satisfaction is considerable. A lot of women who reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation will then want vaginal penetration.

There’s a clear message here: if a man makes a woman come before he climaxes (however that is achieved), she will get pleasure. If he engages in intercourse, ejaculates, and then sex finishes, she will most likely not get pleasure. She will be unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

However, all of this knowledge is useless unless you know some techniques that can actually work for you as a couple. Techniques which will allow you to make a woman come and have pleasurable sex. Or even  orgasmic bliss!

So I suggest you have a look here: this is a repository of techniques for achieving sexual pleasure. It may not be  a complete account of how to bring a woman to orgasm, or how to make a woman come, but it’s certainly a big step in the right direction.

It covers many of the aspects of sexuality which men and women don’t really know so much about – even if they’ve been in a relationship for some time.

By the way, why don’t men and women discuss sex on a regular and intimate basis? Well, that’s another issue! What we can say with great confidence is this: when sex is going well, and providing a couple with satisfaction and pleasure, they’re much more likely to be able to talk about personally intimate issues. And then they are much more likely to have the means to resolve any difficulties.

Making A Woman Come

The Art Of Female Orgasm

How to make a woman come in five easy steps!

1 Start Foreplay Outside The Bedroom

Most women are going to be much more willing to make love with a man if they feel respected and appreciated. A great way to show you really do appreciate her is to build up to your lovemaking long before you get into the bedroom.

You can leave little notes for her around the house telling her how you feel about her and how attractive she is. You can send text messages unexpectedly, or buy her flowers and have them delivered. Anything that shows you’re thinking about her,  even when you’re not with her, will be much appreciated, and tends to open her heart to being much more intimate with you in bed.

Man and woman smiling
Start foreplay outside the bedroom and you’ll enjoy what happens in the bedroom a lot more!

2 Make Sure That You Know What She Wants In the Bedroom

Because men tend to have a much more urgent sex drive than women, it can sometimes be easy for us to overlook the fact that women need a slower approach to arousal than men. In fact, research shows that women generally take 10 to 20 times as long to get aroused and ready for intercourse as men do .

This means that most women need at least 20 or 30 minutes of foreplay before you actually make love. But it’s important the kind of foreplay you share with her is something that she wants and enjoys, and something that is also appealing to you. This might be kissing, caressing, cuddling, looking into each other’s eyes; a great way to find out is to ask her!

If you don’t want to ask, then try gentle stroking, kissing all over her body gently, and make sure that the first half of foreplay is devoted to stimulating her whole body. Only move on to her breasts and intimate areas when you send she’s beginning to get aroused. It could well be true that a woman’s most important sexual organ is either her skin or her brain! (We all know what a man’s most important sexual organ is!)

Foreplay between man and woman.
Foreplay is enjoyable and helps to ensure a woman will come.

3 Make Sure the Stimulation You Give Her Is What She Wants

Lots of men head straight for their partner’s clitoris or genitals when they’re in bed with a woman. But this should come after a lot of preliminary foreplay. When you do move onto her clitoris, vulva or  breasts, make sure to check that she’s responding with arousal and excitement.

Women generally require a much lighter touch than men in their sexual areas, and a hard touch can either be unpleasant or a real turnoff until she’s highly aroused. You can always check in with her if what you’re doing is OK.

Man kissing woman's neck
Making a woman come is much easier if what you do is what she wants you to do!

4 Consider Giving Her an Orgasm Before Intercourse Starts

The vast majority of women find it quite difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone. This is because they don’t receive any clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Although it may seem hard to delay your pleasure, consider learning how to make a woman come through oral pleasuring or touch as a conclusion to foreplay.

This works well for many couples because even after she’s reached orgasm, a woman is still highly aroused some time, and generally will delight in the intimacy of intercourse. 

This approach takes pressure off the man, and allows him to take his pleasure while his woman is aroused and open to him in heart, mind and body.

man kissing woman on her belly
An orgasm for her before intercourse starts can increase everybody’s pleasure during lovemaking

5 Learn How to Last Longer in Bed

All the research shows that a lot of men come long before women would like them to do so; and that’s true even if a woman can’t reach orgasm during intercourse. That’s because penetration is such an intimate act, and women often enjoy the intimacy of intercourse rather than expecting to have their man make them come. 

At the same time, there are quite a number of women who could come during intercourse through vaginal stimulation alone – if only the man could last longer before he reached his own orgasm. 

So there could be real benefits for both you if you learn how to last longer in bed. As the man, your pleasure would be prolonged, and your orgasm would be more intense, and your woman might be able to reach orgasm during intercourse – which is a fabulous experience both of you. If you don’t know how to do this, and want some easy solutions, search online for “stamina in bed”.

Follow these five simple and easy steps, all of which can help you make a woman come easily, and you’ll be a man with much greater sexual skills and your woman’s sexual hero as well! 

Woman reaching the point of orgasm during intercourse
The pleasure of orgasm during intercourse can be wonderful!

Orgasm in women is, of course, a rather complex story.

We know that women vary considerably in the type of stimulation that is required to bring them to orgasm, and we’ve  already observed that many do not experience this pleasure through vaginal penetration.

When combined with the fact that women actually have a much more variable capacity to achieve orgasm during sexual activity than men, you’d expect the percentage of men and women reaching orgasm during sex to be very different. And, unsurprisingly, they are.

Lloyd scrutinized the literature reports on women’s orgasmic experience and summarized data from 32 research projects.

Unfortunately, as is so often the case with research into sexuality, many of these studies were poorly conducted with ill-defined terms in the research or unrepresentative samples of women. They certainly weren’t directed towards a study of how easy women find it to reach orgasm with a man who knows how to make them come!

However, using the best judgment possible in the circumstances, the proportion of women who report always experiencing orgasm during intercourse is 25.3%. The women who “sometimes” or “rarely” did so during intercourse is 19.7%.

Video on how to cause female ejaculation

Similarly, Lloyd found that the percentage of women who never come  (i.e. NEVER reach orgasm) during their lifetimes was reported as between 5 to 10% in a number of different studies. This broadly matches the figure of 10% in Kinsey’s pioneering research in 1953.

When you consider all kinds of stimulation during a sexual act with a partner, studies have demonstrated that around 27% of women say they will always achieve climax, 41.3% say they usually do so, 21.6% say they achieve it “sometimes”, and 10% say they do so rarely or never.

If this covers any kind of sexual activity with a partner it is incompatible with the research reported above, because this revealed that women claim to experience orgasm during intercourse 25.3% of the times they have it.

What we know is that it is definitely a good idea for a man to know how to make a woman come.

This aids sexual pleasure and satisfaction all round!

Intuitively it’s extremely improbable that only 2% of orgasms experienced by women during any kind of sexual interaction is accounted for by activities other than sexual intercourse.

This seems to imply that the real figure of women who are able to achieve orgasm during intercourse is much lower than 25%, and that would be broadly in line with our own unscientific research projects and informal e-mail enquiries that we’ve had from women on our websites over the years.

Broadly speaking, we would estimate that no more than 15%, and possibly as few as 10% or even 5% of women achieve orgasm on a regular basis during sexual intercourse. Men simply don’t make women come during sex by vaginal thrusting alone…. not usually, anyway.

There is certainly a widespread recognition in research projects that the cultural environment suggests that people are more sexually active than they actually are, and it may be that the over-reporting of orgasm during intercourse is a reflection of this cultural bias. Though of course it may be a sign of men’s deep desire to demonstrate that they know how to make a woman come!!!

Making A Woman Come Clitorally vs Vaginally

Nonetheless an important question arises: how important is orgasm is for women, and for men?

In a research project conducted in 1994, 49% of men agreed with the statement that “sex without orgasm or climax cannot be really satisfying for men” and 34% disagreed. In response to the same question 43% of women agreed and 29% disagreed. Interestingly, when the same statement was made for a woman,  29% of women agreed, and 50% disagreed, while 37% of men agreed and 35% disagreed. I think these figures reflect the importance that men attach to being able to make a woman come. 

This clearly emphasizes the different importance which men and women apply to orgasm during sex. In a more recent survey of women in heterosexual relationships by Bancroft, it was discovered that the frequency of orgasm which women experience during sexual activity with their partners did not have any correlation with how the women evaluated the success of their sexual relationship or indeed their own sexuality.

When asked how important it was to their sexual happiness to have an orgasm, or for a man to bring them to orgasm, only 29.6% of the women said it was important or extremely important.

 

Good Sex and Good Orgasms

Coming To Good Sex

Many men want to know how to make a woman come, but experiencing sexual arousal and reaching orgasm follow different paths in a woman than they do in a man.

As a man, you’re no doubt very experienced in reaching orgasm – you’ve probably been practicing since you were a teenager! 

Male sexual pleasure is generally much more easily achieved than female pleasure.

You know that a regular rhythm of stimulation to the penis, either gentle and soft, or hard and fast, according to your personal preference and sensitivity, will generally result in an orgasm very quickly. The orgasm might be long or short, depending on how long it is since you last ejaculated, but in general it’ll be pleasurable to a greater or lesser degree.

You then lose interest in sex and your sexual arousal drops quickly, but in general it’s quite a short time before you’re interested in having another orgasm – although as men age, the time between orgasms tends to increase.

For a woman, this kind of mechanical stimulus and response doesn’t apply so much. Knowing how to make a woman come depends on many factors.

One of the reasons for this is that women tend to be much more dependent on emotional and mental stimuli for orgasm than men are.

Pleasuring a woman in bed is easy
What she thinks of as satisfaction may be very different from what he thinks of as satisfaction!

So for example, a romantic and loving atmosphere, in comfortable and pleasant surroundings, with a partner who is not only liked but trusted, are precursors for most women to reach orgasm easily.

Sure, we’ve all heard of the one night stands that young women in particular are enjoying these days, but the truth of the matter is that for most women, the old standards still apply: while having sex is easy, reaching orgasm is not so easy… unless there’s a romantic atmosphere and a partner who is appreciated, trusted and loved present.

Further, there’s a degree of skill required on a man’s part when he seeks to make a woman come, or to stimulate a woman to orgasm, because he has to know how to be sensitive to her level of arousal, and to “follow” her arousal as it dips and increases during sexual stimulation.

Finally, since most women do reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, it’s essential that a woman’s sexual partner is skilled in stimulating her clitoris in a way that is going to please her and make her reach orgasm.

Sexual Intercourse and Orgasm

The reality is that sexual intercourse alone does not make most women come. The simple reason for this is that the clitoris doesn’t receive the necessary level of stimulation.

Regardless of what you read or hear about G spot orgasms, or vaginal orgasms, the majority of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, although the intensity and pleasure of her orgasm might be increased if she has a penis or finger inside her vagina at the time she reaches orgasm.

But, much as you might not like to hear it, women don’t reach orgasm through thrusting during intercourse alone. Or rather, the vast majority of them do not reach orgasm this way. (The coital alignment technique may offer an exception to this.)

Figures vary, according to who you read, and what agenda they’re pushing, about how many women are able to reach orgasm through intercourse, but I think it’s fair to say that it’s around 10 to 15%.

Just to make it clear, we’re talking about sexual intercourse without any additional clitoral stimulation: lots of women can reach orgasm during intercourse if either they or their partner also stimulates the clitoris with either fingers or a vibrator, but enjoyable though that might be, it’s not the same thing as a man making a woman come with thrusting alone. 

So how can you bring a woman to orgasm, to make her come, reliably?

Well, the first thing is that you’re probably going to be looking for a technique which appeals to your particular partner.

Most women like oral sex – in fact, there are many surveys which demonstrate that women’s favourite sexual activity is oral pleasure with a trusted partner, but I think it requires quite a mature man to be able to take a woman from the beginning of her arousal to orgasm through oral stimulation alone.

Video – Can women come through intercourse alone?

For one thing, oral stimulation can be slightly uncomfortable if the woman is lying on the bed, and any discomfort a man experiences such as a cricked neck or pain in his back, is going to distract him from his focus on pleasuring his woman. Bringing her to orgasm requires attention, focus, and more than anything, a kind of mental state where you’re really focused on what you’re doing – giving your partner an orgasm – rather than thinking about distractions.

Some women prefer to reach orgasm in other ways: from frottage, the rubbing of bodies together, manual stimulation (masturbation), or using a vibrator – these are all high on the list of pleasurable sexual techniques that can give woman orgasmic satisfaction.

But the thing is, if you’re a man, you probably assume you should know how to make a woman reach orgasm without being told. Regrettably, that’s a common impression in our culture: something to do with the inherent cultural expectations put on men. The truth is that all women are different, in both major and minor ways, but they all have different expectations and requirements of their sexual partner.

So how are you going to know what your partner wants if you don’t ask her?

You can’t simply assume that because you knew how to make your previous woman come with a certain type of stimulation, your current girlfriend is going to respond in a similar way! Indeed, doing so is a recipe for disaster! As a sexual technique, this ranks somewhere alongside asking a woman “Have you come yet?” (i.e. it’s a very bad idea!)

Explains all the best and easiest ways to make a woman come.