Category Archives: female ejaculation

The Female Orgasm

If you’ve been wondering why you can’t achieve orgasm during intercourse (or get your female partner off by making love to her if you’re a man), it’s probably very helpful to know that most women do not have an orgasm during intercourse.

In fact, it’s actually normal for a woman not to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse (although it’s quite normal to want to do so!)

And this explains, at least partly, why so many women masturbate – it’s presumably one of the major ways in which they enjoy orgasm. They certainly don’t have many orgasms during sex!

When asked if they masturbated, women responded as follows:

82% of women said they masturbate
15% of women said they do not masturbate
3% of women didn’t reply

Of the women who said they masturbated:

66.0% reached orgasm “always”
29.3% reached orgasm “sometimes”
3.0% reached orgasm “occasionally”
and just a few reached orgasm “rarely”

There are several reasons why women have trouble achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse.

The first of these, at least in many women’s minds, is that most men simply cannot thrust in the vagina for long enough to bring a woman to orgasm. Premature ejaculation has been described as the scourge of sexual pleasure – for both men and women – in our time.

And while that might be an overstatement, it certainly has a lot of truth in it.

We know, for example, that over 75% of men cannot last longer than two minutes from penetration to ejaculation. Of course dealing with men’s premature ejaculation is a whole subject in itself. (See this on control of premature ejaculation.)

Sexual medicine – intimacy and sexual health concerns

And if you’re a woman who wants to achieve orgasm during intercourse, you may believe that one of the reasons you do not do so is that your man cannot last each for long enough in bed to provide enough vaginal stimulation for you to experience an orgasm.

Of course it is important for men to take responsibility for not only their own sexual pleasure but also for their partners’ sexual pleasure (at least if it’s true that their partners’ sexual pleasure depends on their ability to make love for longer than two minutes at a time).

The question is, of course, would longer thrusting really make any difference to a woman’s capacity to reach orgasm?

We can get a clue to the answer by looking at the percentage of women who achieve orgasm when they are with men who are able to thrust for at least 15 minutes before they ejaculate.

The remarkable thing is that even among this group of women, who at first might seem to be very fortunate, the frequency of orgasm during intercourse is actually still very low. In fact, it turns out to be just as low as it is in any other group of women.

In a survey by VulvaVelvet.org, the question “If your partner can last for fifteen minutes or more before he ejaculates during intercourse, do you achieve orgasm through penile thrusting alone?” produced the following answers:

  • 10% of women said that they “always” came during sex with their partner
  • 20% of women said that they “sometimes” came during sex with their partner
  • 70% of women said they “rarely” or “never” came during sex with their partner

So, this brings us to the second reason why women have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse. 

The simple fact is that most women rely on clitoral stimulation, if not entirely, at least primarily, to reach orgasm. You’ve probably noticed that during sexual intercourse there are very few sex positions that will stimulate the clitoris in a way likely to help a woman achieve orgasm during intercourse.

And even the much vaunted coital alignment technique (see more here) seems so complicated that most couples give up with it long before they achieve success.

Given these difficulties, it hardly seems surprising that many women have a low expectation of orgasmic pleasure during intercourse.

The third factor, with which most of you will already be familiar, is the simple and undeniable difference between men and women’s sexual arousal: men are quicker to arouse, quicker to reach orgasm, and quicker to lose their arousal after sex than women.

The hard reality is that while men can be fully aroused in a minute or two, most women, most of the time, require twenty minutes or even more of gentle foreplay before they feel aroused enough to really desire and want sexual contact.

The problem, however, goes deeper than this, for the vast majority of men lose interest in sex once they have ejaculated.

This means that if the first part of sex is devoted to the man’s pleasure, the inevitable result is that the woman is likely to be unsatisfied, left hanging without an orgasm, frustrated and probably rather resentful, whilst her man slumbers peacefully next to her.

The first part of sex becomes the final part of sex. There is no second part, the part which should be devoted to the woman’s pleasure.

Of course, what we are describing here is the conventional view of the incompatibility of men and women’s sexual desire. The good news, however, is that there is a solution: the man brings the woman to orgasm with oral pleasure before he enters her to make love.

But, most importantly, the primary objective of all sexual relationships is that when a woman wants an orgasm she should be able to achieve one.

And at the same time, the man should be fully satisfied as well.  And although his “performance” or skill as a lover does not depend on giving his partner an orgasm during sex or masturbation, most men like to do this, and feel proud when they have done so (as well as finding it highly arousing).

Unlimited Sexual Pleasure

ENJOY A BETTER SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

Most of us like sex – it’s an essential part of everyday life, and indeed, necessary for good mental and emotional health.

You could say a sexual relationship is a fundamental aspect of human existence. A simple statement to make, but as we all know, while we crave being in a relationship, because a relationship meets our needs, sexual relationships can be anything but simple!

A sexual relaitonship can be anything but simple!
A sexual relationship can be anything but simple!

You may already have discovered in your life that sometimes being in a relationship can be very traumatic for all kinds of reasons….

So in this particular post I want to emphasize one aspect which is greatly underrated as a feature of relationships, but can be particularly important for both men and women who have inhibitions about sex: the benefit of developing sexual skills to a higher level as a way of increasing intimacy.

In short, learning sexual skills like squirting – also known as female ejaculation – can transform a relationship into something very new and exciting.

Video – How To Squirt

I need hardly say that for most male sexual partners, any kind of female squirting orgasm or ejaculation is going to be highly arousing and exciting. And while a woman shouldn’t be basing her sexual pleasure on what her man wants, it can be great for her orgasmic pleasure too! (Watch the videos above to find out why!)

Some experts believe all women can ejaculate, and when no ejaculate appears to be produced, they suggest it is because women who are inhibited clench up so they have retrograde ejaculation.

Sexual Skills and Relationships

Yet another benefit of studying advanced sexual skills like squirting comes when people take the initiative to develop their sexual technique…. it requires good communication and intimacy. Anything which enhances intimacy is a benefit for both partners.

A lot of people are sexually inhibited. As a shadow work practitioner, I always look for emotional wounds to the inner child when somebody is sexually inhibited – or addicted, for that matter.

Fear of sex and addiction to sex both indicate wounds in the Lover Archetype, aka the inner child. Also, people who display a lack of self sexual boundaries are usually deeply wounded in the inner child.

Yet the paradox is that learning about techniques like squirting and multiple orgasm can really help people get over their sexual issues.

From a practical point of view of course it’s also difficult for a couple to enjoy a true sexual relationship – or at least, a truly happy sexual relationship when one partner is wounded in some way.

Learning To Squirt Is Fun

The truth of the matter is that not enjoying sex to the full is an act of self-neglect, since regular good sex has health benefits. It can help you avoid heart disease, high blood pressure and a number of other problems, most of which are going to shorten your life unless you do something about them.

So you could commit to doing something differently that would help you to establish a better sex life – it might be as simple as committing to try one new sexual technique a month.

You may not think this is very significant (or you may think it isn’t very easy), but it is a gesture which says “I care about myself, and I’m going to do something about my fun and happiness!”

At the same time, if you’re in a sexual relationship with a partner, it says something like “I care about you and I want you to be sexually happy and fulfilled”, and actually you ARE going to make yourself more attractive to them!

Men and women who are prepared to address their emotional wounds, get their sex lives under control, and work out why they have sexual issues can gain not only greater physical fitness but also greater emotional health, greater happiness, and a much better relationship by doing so.

It’s for this reason that I highly recommend a highly recommended program by G spot and squirting orgasm expert (a heck of a job description!) Jason Julius. By all accounts appears to be extremely successful. Check it out here.

Women And Orgasm – The Pleasure Of Ejaculation

One of the more interesting articles on female ejaculation, or squirting orgasms, has been published in the Guardian, under the headline “The debate about squirting is actually about whether or not women can be trusted to accurately report their own sexual experiences.”

And that does reflect a fundamental truth about female ejaculation: scientific investigators seem to start from a position where they are trying to disprove its existence.

It’s almost as though there’s something doubtful about the very existence of squirting orgasms, and women can’t be trusted to relate what they’re experiencing.

Male and Female Ejaculation

There are certainly some reasons why that female ejaculation is harder to accept. For one thing, female ejaculation is less noticeable than male ejaculation. In fact, it’s probably recognizable in many cases only to the woman who is experiencing it, and unlike male ejaculation, the evidence of it having happened may not necessarily be very clear.

But when you dig down a little bit further into the phenomenon of squirting orgasms, it’s also true that a denial of female  sexual pleasure is a theme which has run through a widespread patriarchal attitude towards female sexuality for many centuries.

So can we now separate the reality of squirting orgasms and female ejaculation from what men fantasize about, would like to believe is true, and also seem to try and deny?

Well, surely what women say about their sexual experiences serves as evidence of the existence of female ejaculation?

True, but what makes this slightly harder is the fact many women themselves deny the reality of female ejaculation. However, there are significantly more women who have discovered it and know it to be a genuine phenomenon, part of their sexual experience.

Another problem is that almost every conversation on the subject of female ejaculation finally ends up debating the question of whether or not it’s a real phenomenon.

And there’s a whole genre of pornography centered on squirting orgasms. This is not doing us any favours in our attempts to establish what is true and what is not true.

What we do know, however is that there a scientific study conducted by French gynaecologists seems to demonstrate that female ejaculation comes in two forms.

There’s the emission of some kind of pseudo-prostatic fluid from the female Skene’s glands (which resemble male prostate tissue). And second, there’s the expulsion of fluid from the bladder. This is the much more common form of “squirting” which is seen on Internet pornography and erotica.

Regrettably, many people who deny the reality of female ejaculation were delighted to have “evidence” that women were mistaken in thinking female ejaculation was a genuine form of sexual expression.

What a mistake! How could you not have realized, they say, that squirting orgasms are merely arousal-induced urinary incontinence?

Underlying all of this is the assumption that women can’t understand, or can’t describe, what they’re experiencing during sex.

Yet when a woman has ejaculated during sex, she has experienced a unique sensation of sexual arousal, and a unique symptom of orgasmic release.

Every woman who’s ejaculated will know that the fluid they release during squirting orgasms is different to urine.

Also, female ejaculation, squirting, or gushing, call it what you may, feels different from the act of urination. And, let’s remember, the evidence is that the liquid released when a woman comes is fundamentally different to her pee.

And there’s a deeper aspect to all of this, as well: the fact that the physical experience of female ejaculation is simply an expression of female sexual pleasure in its purest form.

Some people insist that female ejaculation is simply urination (or something vaguely similar). But this is a denigration of women’s experience of their own bodies and women’s ability to understand their own sexuality. It also conveys a sense that female sexuality is somehow “dirty” or “less pure” than the male orgasm.

Sure, this is a feminist position. And no wonder! The fact is, the politics of female ejaculation go far beyond the ability of an individual woman to experience sexual pleasure during ejaculation.

In both Britain and Australia scenes of female ejaculation have been “banned” in erotica, on the grounds that all the women are doing is urinating.

(How extraordinary that such material should be banned even if that were true. But that, of course, is another issue.)

Bearing in mind that most women who have female-ejaculated declaim that urination has no part to play in female ejaculation makes this political background feel something like covert censorship of female sexuality.

The reality of female ejaculation

This experiment throws a little light on female ejaculation in general, and squirting orgasms in particular.

The Nature of Squirting

The study was conducted by a gynecologist in France with a mere seven women.

At the start of the experiment the women were asked to empty their bladders and provide a urine sample – an ultrasound scan confirmed that their bladders were empty.

They then had sex with a partner or masturbated until they were close to their squirting orgasms, at which point they were given another pelvic scan and the fluid they emitted was collected, after which a final pelvic scan was performed.

Interestingly enough, although they’d started to receive sexual stimulation when their bladders were completely empty, by the time they were ready to orgasm and female ejaculate, their bladders were full again – and once they had squirted at the moment of orgasm, their bladders were empty.

Squirting orgasms – where does this mysterious fluid come from?

On the face of it you might conclude that the fluid being ejaculated was urine, or that it was some other fluid produced during sexual arousal which had somehow got into the bladder.

However, one of the theories put forward by women who produce squirting orgasms is that fluid from the paraurethral glands may be forced back into the bladder when women unconsciously clamp their muscles down to prevent what they think is incipient urination.

So sadly, it might seem that this experiment doesn’t go very far towards demonstrating what this mysterious fluid which women ejaculate at the point of orgasm actually is….

Even so, a chemical analysis was performed on all of the samples the women produced. Two were like urine, but five of the seven women’s samples showed PSA (prostate-specific antigen) in the fluid they’d squirted, which had not been detected in their initial urine sample.

Although PSA is more commonly associated with male ejaculation, it is also produced by the Skene’s glands near the vagina.

Beverly Whipple, who was responsible for some of the earliest work on female ejaculation has said that in her view the term female ejaculation really has only relevance to the production of a small amount of milky fluid at orgasm, and not the squirting or gushing which was being investigated in this experiment.

In essence what Whipple is saying is that when women squirt or gush at the moment of orgasm they are expelling either urine alone, or urine mixed with liquids and chemicals from the female prostate tissue.

Sidebar: Obviously, in view of the experiment described above, one of the interesting questions here is whether the kidneys work faster and produce more dilute urine during sexual stimulation than at other times.

The critical thing about female ejaculation is that some women – and it seems to be around half of women – have experienced once or more than once the involuntary emission of fluid from the urethra at the amount of orgasm in quantities ranging from 30 to 150 ml.

This this has become known as squirting, although in fairness this term usually refers to a much large quantity of liquid.

No wonder the scientific community is still divided on this question – there are even some who question the very existence of the G spot, while others are still debating how it can be that some women emit as little as 2 – 4 ml of liquid which looks like watered-down milk while others emit large quantities of clear liquid that resembles urine.

What is female ejaculation? Can all women do it?

Clarity & Ejaculation

The debate centres on whether or not the large quantity of liquid which women may release during squirting orgasms comes from the bladder or from the female prostate tissue.

One theory suggests the milky white fluid produced by the female prostate tissue can be forced backward into the bladder (perhaps because a woman clamps down her muscles because she is scared of releasing any liquid during sexual arousal), and this is why the samples tested in the experiment described above contained PSA.

Yet it seems unlikely, intuitively unlikely, that women who self-report the expulsion of large quantities of liquid – say a glassful – during orgasm could really be producing this in their prostate tissue.

Just what conclusions can we draw from all of this work?

Well, good question. The answer is, it seems as though the smaller volume of fluid from the female prostate containing PSA is produced during mechanical stimulation of the G spot.

Larger quantities of liquid emitted during squirting orgasms do appear to come from the bladder, although how this fluid gets there in the first place is a little bit of a mystery.

Science is not very helpful at discovering exactly what female ejaculation is, but perhaps it doesn’t really matter.

Maybe the truth of the matter is that we need to listen to the 80% of women who have ejaculated fluid at climax and say that this ejaculation enhances and enriches their sex life!

In other words, we don’t need to know about the origin of female ejaculation to know that this is something which shows a woman is enjoying a healthy sex life, she’s in a state of relaxation, and stimulation of her G spot adds a whole dimension to her life.

Keep in mind that between 35 and 50% of women say that they’ve experienced squirting orgasms once or more than once. This is not likely to be involuntary release of urine, surely?

The fact that vast numbers of women report the release of this mysterious fluid, without knowing exactly where it comes from, serves to strongly support the idea that female squirting orgasm is a genuine phenomenon that gives women sexual pleasure, and whether it involves urination or not is an irrelevance.

The discovery of female ejaculation

The Discovery of Female Ejaculation

You can trace the origins of female ejaculation right back to sexual liberation in the 1960s, when women burned their bras.

This was all symbolic of a desire amongst women to explore their sexuality freely and fully – rather than just being  objectified as sex objects for men’s pleasure.

Of course fighting against the patriarch in the history of sexual domination by men required empowerment of many different kinds.

For many women, their first empowerment is or was actually having an orgasm – it’s hard to know in retrospect how many women were non-orgasmic in the 1960s, but the figure that has been widely bandied around is 60%.

This astonishing lack of fulfillement is what led to the sexual revolution.

When you think about it that figure of 60% is absolutely astounding. Why? Well, these days, partly due to more relaxed social mores, partly due to the Internet spreading sex education and making erotica freely available, almost every woman would naturally expect to have an orgasm during sexual activity in one way or another.

But things had to start somewhere – and for women to begin masturbating, and even talking openly about sex, was a new development in the 1960s, 70s, and even the 80s.

It was even necessary for women to discover that having fantasies about sex was permissible and acceptable, and that it could help them reach orgasm.

You can see how far away from things like female ejaculation we were until very recently!

In fact, except in a few limited cultures, for most of human history female ejaculation, or squirting as some now call it, was unknown or at best thought of as an abnormality.

In the past most men would not even have been interested in giving women sexual pleasure in this way, either. You see, the sexual dynamic at play in the 1960s to 1970s was that men “used” women to get orgasms, and women “used” sex to get children, protection, money, a settled life. You name it, women have used sex to get it.

A sexual relationship can be used by both men and women to get what they want!

And that’s hardly an empowered position! So, together with a move in society for women to become more empowered in other ways, the 1980s were perhaps the start of the process of sexual liberation, or, more accurately, sexual education.

Role models like Madonna – the pop star – helped make sexual women acceptable, and images of assertive women normal.

Madonna: Sex (Lyrics)

“Soaking wet, Let me get on top, back and forth till we break the bed.”

Cultural Change Around Sexuality Orgasm & Squirting

Along with the cultural change in the way women were perceived, a whole body of work was necessary to encourage women to be truly sexual and to inhabit their sexual personas fully.

This was work done by pioneers like Betty Dodson, Annie Sprinkle, and the early experts in Tantric sexuality.

So through the 1990s and 2000s, women’s sexual exploration of their own bodies continued, with the aid of adult films on the Internet and the burgeoning amount of erotica available for women who could now see what might perhaps be expected in the way of sexual pleasure.

Of course discoveries about female sexuality and the capacity of a woman’s body to produce intense sexual pleasure have continued right up to this day, and I think we could safely say that the Internet has made squirting both normal and acceptable.

What is certainly true of course is that most women now expect to have an orgasm during sexual activity, if not during intercourse itself.

Photos of a woman reaching orgasm during intercourse.

The variety of sexual activities that men and women can enjoy have increased exponentially as knowledge about sexual pleasure has become more widely available.

But even so, there are still very few men who really know how they can make a woman squirt, and it’s fair to say that limited numbers of men and women are exploring female ejaculation.

Squirting

That’s disappointing, because not only does the exploration of human sexuality lead to better orgasms, it actually has something to teach us about ourselves. For one thing, sexual expression can help us in expressing emotions, thoughts, feelings and desires.

True sexual expression – which means uninhibited sexual expression – can help us come more creative and imaginative.

But in addition, being fully informed about the rights and possibilities of sex allows people – perhaps women in particular – to set clear boundaries, and make informed choices about what they want.

In the process we can all become more tolerant and understanding of others who have different sexual expectations and perhaps choose to follow a sexual path that we ourselves find difficult to understand.

All in all, sex can become a means to express oneself.

Sexual development

In the archetypal model of the human personality formed by Carl Jung, there are four main archetypes: the King, the Warrior, the Magician, and the Lover.

Women naturally fall into lover energy when they move into their teens and experience a blossoming of their sexuality. This is a necessary part of their development as women.

And for those teenagers whose sexuality is suppressed and repressed, denied and hidden, the exploration of sexual desire is not only a way of obtaining pleasure, but also  a way to recovering the full energy contained in their lover archetype.

Without this, there can be no full expression of their female, their innate femininity.

Now I’m not suggesting that learning to squirt – discovering how to female ejaculate – is absolutely necessary for a woman to rediscover her sexuality and explore her feminine archetypes, but I know that it certainly helps a woman become more uninhibited, more sexual, and feel her feminine energy flow more easily.

And that’s good for all of us – to become more fully ourselves, by exploring every aspect of our personality – including our sexuality.

In short, the more we care for and honor our sexuality, and the more we develop our innate sexual energy and sexuality, the happier and more well-adjusted – perhaps even fulfilled – we will all become.

The Ultimate Female Pleasure? Female Ejaculation

BACKGROUND TO FEMALE EJACULATION

The Art Of Gushing Orgasms!

There are thousands of articles on squirting orgasms on the internet. This could make you believe that knowing how to make a woman squirt is a matter of massive importance.

But squirting orgasms are simply the release of fluid from a woman’s vulva at orgasm. In fact, to squirt is quite natural.


How To Enjoy Squirting!

Discover The Simplest, Quickest and Easiest Way To Give Your Partner A Squirting Orgasm!

Click Below To Find Out How To Do It
(Warning: this free video all about G spot stimulation is NSFW and loud)


And since it feels great and it’s sexually exciting for a woman and her partner, what’s not to like? And besides all that, it’s fun to try to make a woman squirt.

So, why not try it? We’ve got all the information you might need to help you enjoy squirting orgasms for the first time, right here! And if you’re a man we can show you how to make a woman squirt, either for the first time or the hundredth time.

By the way, these wet orgasms are sometimes referred to as female ejaculation, or “gushing” orgasms. Here’s a picture of a woman who knows how make herself squirt.

For some people, that’s not enough. The curious, the scientific, and the perfectionists among us, all seem to want to know what causes a gushing or squirting orgasm!

And especially, people want to know, what’s the fluid that’s released when a woman reaches orgasm?

Research Proves Nothing About Squirting Orgasms

Over the last 20 years, the internet’s provided more and more airspace for the phenomenon of squirting orgasms, and it’s now become something like a sexual fad.

Knowing how to make a woman squirt is seen by men as proof of their partner’s orgasm and proof of female pleasure. (Many women do say it goes along with an intensified experience of orgasm.)

What Happens When A Woman Squirts or Ejaculates Fluid at Orgasm?

To start with, a lot of people think there are at least two kinds of ejaculation. First, a small amount of creamy white fluid which comes out of the urethra  during extreme sexual arousal and orgasm.

And second, a thinner, clearer liquid which probably emerges from the urethra in larger quantities during squirting orgasms.

So what’s the truth? Around a woman’s urethra there’s some tissue which resembles the prostate gland tissue of men. This is variously known as the paraurethral sponge, the female prostate, or the Skene’s glands.

Many people believe that the fluid discharged in large quantities during female ejaculation – i.e. squirting orgasms –  comes from this “prostatic” tissue.

And there is some research which indicates that female ejaculate has some of the same components as male ejaculatory fluid or semen.

But recently there has been a study which seems to prove this is not so. This research suggests the larger quantities of liquid emerging from the urethra when a woman squirts come from the bladder. This liquid is of a different chemical composition to “normal” urine.

The Truth About A Woman Squirting?

Gushing or squirting orgasms have gained a reputation for being very powerful. They seem to be some kind of enhanced orgasm.  Certainly the experience of being with a woman who squirts is very arousing. This may explain why men so much want to know how to make women squirt. Perhaps it’s a male pride thing, as in, “See what I made her do!”

But what do women who experience squirting orgasms, and the men who want to make them squirt, really feel?

Fun and pleasure is one obvious answer….. and intense female orgasm is another. It can be a peak sexual experience to see your female partner squirming in the grip of a powerful, very wet orgasm.

Want To Produce A Woman’s Squirting Orgasm?

Here’s How…

Most of the instructions about how to produce squirting orgasms suggest you start by putting fingertip pressure onto the area of the G spot. This is about an inch or two inside the vagina, on the upper wall, as a woman lies on her back. If she is sufficiently aroused, when she “bears down” at the point of orgasm, she’ll ejaculate fluid.

These instructions alter the angle at which the urethra enters the bladder. This apparently makes it much more difficult for a woman to retain urine.

So, yes, there could be an element of urination in gushing. But the fluid released during a squirting orgasm never smells like urine, nor does it look like it. You might therefore think that learning how to make a woman squirt is merely harmless fun.

Even so, if female ejaculation does turn out to be urination by any other name, there’s no harm in that.

Whatever it is, it can be very exciting for a woman to release this fluid. You only have to read what women say about squirting orgasms to see that they feel good. And  if both partners agree to try and make squirting happen, this can be a wonderful way of expressing your sexuality. It can be very arousing for woman and man alike to make a woman come in this way.

So with that said, it’s important to realize something. When a woman ejaculates clear fluid in volume, what comes out does seem to be dilute pee or urine.

The study which most people have taken as proof of this was conducted on seven women, who were all experienced squirters.

The researchers used ultrasound techniques to see if their bladders were full before and after orgasm.

Long story short, the women’s bladders appeared to partly fill with fluid before orgasm. After the woman had squirted, their bladders were empty.

But that isn’t the whole story.

It transpires that the fluid is different to “normal” urine. It contains some chemicals which are reminiscent of prostatic fluid, and it’s more dilute than most urine.

As it passes down the urethra, fluid from the Skene’s glands or prostatic tissue can mix in with the urine. So you might expect some difference in chemical composition to “normal” pee.

But even if that is correct, it doesn’t satisfy some women. They are adamant that the fluid they ejaculate in large quantities when they are made to squirt is NOT urine.

On balance, I think the evidence shows that the fluid which emerges during squirting or gushing is indeed urine. Chemical analysis and bladder ultrasound does seem to confirm that. But who knows? Tomorrow is another day!

Enjoy Squirting? Don’t Stop Squirting!

There’s a sense on the Internet that the scientists who investigate the nature of female ejaculate are spoiling people’s fun.

I mean, being told that you’re peeing during sex could be off-putting for some people. I get that. But the release of urine during orgasm can be very exciting, both psychologically and physically.

The urethra is full of sensitive nerve endings, for one thing. For another, the emotional sense of release and letting go when “ejaculating” can be  deeply profound and satisfying. This is a sense of surrendering to the body’s urge to release and let go, all of which adds to the excitement of sex.

Even if it’s just a physical thing caused by the angle of the bladder changing so that it’s harder to hold urine in, and thus contractions of the muscles at orgasm tend to promote the release of urine as a strong jet – well, so what?

Surely it’s much more important that people simply enjoy themselves during sex?

Video – Female Ejaculation

And by the way, don’t mention it, but there are quite a lot of women who need to pee before sex to ensure that they don’t release urine at the moment of orgasm. That’s called coital incontinence.

I guess if you think hygiene is top of the list of things you need to maintain during sex, then it’s not gonna be too exciting for you to squirt!

On the other hand, if the release of large quantities of fluid turns you on, and you are enjoying squirting orgasms – why not? Enjoy. Life’s too short to worry about it.

Another point of view

Way back when, Gary Schubach wrote an article on female ejaculation.

His research wasn’t very scientific, but all credit – he was trying to find out the constituents in female ejaculation. Or, as he put it, “the experiment focused on the nature, composition and source of female urethral expulsions during sexual arousal.”

He discovered that most of the fluid expelled by the women in this study came from their bladders. This, even though their bladders had been drained before sex! These women still expelled between 50 and 900 ml of fluid at the point of orgasm.

And – here’s the thing – there wasn’t much urea or creatinine in the expelled fluid. Those two things are what make up much of the chemicals in ordinary pee.

So the inference, as other research has shown, is that what’s expelled in a squirting orgasm isn’t normal urine. Somehow there’s a chemical process or change – or something – during sexual stimulation which changes the nature of the fluid expelled during squirting.

Schubach confirmed that the milky white mucus-like fluid comes down the urethra from the paraurethral glands and ducts during sexual excitement. So could it be that this fluid is mixing with fluid coming from the bladder?

It continues to be a controversy, which is a shame, as it distracts from the fact that knowing how to make a woman squirt might be a great way of enhancing sexual pleasure.

A final word (for the moment)

Despite these scientific studies, there are still plenty of women who claim that female ejaculatory fluid in large quantities comes out of the vagina, and it’s not like pee and it’s not like prostatic fluid.

The Tantric experts have a word for it – they call it Amrita or nectar of the gods – and it’s not urine. Female Ejaculation, they say, is a sacred process, and probably very different from squirting.

Female ejaculatory fluid is surrounded by this esoteric and slightly secret sense of a special gift to women who channel the energy of the gods. This link to the Divine Feminine makes female ejaculation even more mysterious.

She writes “Amrita is one of the greatest wonders of the world. People have tried to measure it, examine it, explain it, figure it out. There is no way to measure, or explain, the divine.”

Does this attitude to squirting orgasms help or hinder the debate? Does it help men or women who wish to know how to make a woman squirt?

Perhaps you have to make your own mind up!

So: female ejaculation of Amrita may be something else. There’s a summary of some aspects of the argument here.

By the way, it has to be said that most people who have tasted or smelled Amrita say it really does smell wonderful and taste good. And the quantity produced varies considerably – some women can soak the bed, other produce a dribble.

But really, in the end, does it matter what the fluid is?

Video – More On Squirting

The Art Of Sexual Pleasure

Many woman have one special sexual approach which makes them aroused, and can sometimes make them reach orgasm without direct stimulation of the genitals. Here are examples:

“Anal intercourse. It’s so exciting!” Please be careful if you do this, and watch out for the transfer of yeast cells from the vagina to the anus. This can cause yeast infections of the vagina, or Bacterial Vaginosis. Bad news both!

“Running his fingers all over the lips of my vagina and inside and out and on and on forever, and I get sexually aroused so very slowly and yet realizing that I can go on rising until eternity, and anticipating, and finally he plunges in a finger, two fingers hard and go on from there, and/or a special thrill, a sudden twist of the hand so that the wrist bone grates against the soft sensitive insides of the tops of my thighs, and I come in a massive climax, with my natural sexual lubrication spurting out of me!”

“I love him to run his hands over and under my ass while we’re making love at the same time that we’re kissing.”

“Standing when you are held so close and tight you can feel your man’s penis and balls fitting so comfortably between your legs.”

“I love to have my tits played with. I get really turned on when a man sucks on them. I get turned on by this more than by anything else. When a man plays with my clitoris with his fingers, it feels really good, but I don’t come.”

“My lover caresses and touches every inch of my body, but when he brushes my vagina with his penis, it is the most glorious moment of all his caresses. He knows how much I enjoy this moment and prolongs entry as long as I can stand it.”

“The touch of his penis at my vagina entrance makes me leap forward towards orgasm with a big jump.”

“Having my breasts and nipples caressed arouses me very much and can soon bring me off. I especially, like to have a man take one of my nipples into his mouth. I could and have spent much time having a man do that to me. Second to that is cunnilingus which arouses me about as much.”

“Having the area of my clitoris and vagina caressed makes me respond more than anything else. One way of doing that, which is difficult for a man to do, but which I get most pleasure from, is having that area caressed with the top of his penis. If he cannot do that, doing it with his tongue is just about as good.”

“Sixty-nine – mutual oral sex – arouses us both on more than anything else. Standing in the shower with the water and soap falling off us is great and also good clean fun.”

Although most women respond much more keenly than men to gentle stroking and almost require this type of preliminary play to become fully aroused, men also welcome this type of caress.

Remember the general principle that stroking with the whole hand generally proves exciting to both parties, while fingertip stroking usually excites the passive partner more than the active one.

Video – ways for a woman to orgasm

An example of what makes a woman come!

Krystyna is thirty-four, a Swede married to an Englishman, and lives in Sussex, England. She emails to say:

“We have a heated swimming pool, where we can swim naked all the year round. We often make love while we are swimming. It’s quite surprising the number of different things you can do.

Two positions that we use, each of which I find especially exciting and which give me fantastic orgasms. In one I lie on my tummy holding on to the steps, which are at the shallow end. When he kneels down in the water Max’s penis is exactly level with my vagina.

So he kneels between my legs and pushes into me, and then puts his hand round and parts my labia. He doesn’t touch my clitoris at all. Then we rock backwards and forwards, and the movement of the water over my clitoris is indescribable. It takes a long time for me to come off like this, because the build-up is slow.

As you know, a man who has control of his ejaculation and knows the art of lasting in bed is a man who most women would prefer as a lover. At least compared to a man who has no control and ejaculates prematurely before the woman is satisfied during sex.

Building up to orgasm may take more than a quarter of an hour, but all the time there are these superb sensations which slowly get more and more intense, until there is a huge burst, which makes me tremble like a leaf from fingertips to toes.

Max always holds out until I begin to tremble, then he brings himself to orgasm and the jerking of his penis inside me makes me tremble even more. The more I tremble, the more intense my sensations are. I have blacked out coming off like this, which I have never done when we make love in bed or anywhere else. Another way we do it is to go into deeper water, so that Max’s feet are firmly touching the bottom and his shoulders are above the water.

Then I climb on to his penis and put my legs round his waist, and cross my feet. When Max bends his knees and straightens them, his penis goes in and out of my vagina and as it does so, it makes the water flow under a kind of pressure between my labia and over my clitoris, and this is fantastic, too.

But most fantastic of all is when we do it at the water inlet. This is in the shallow end, and the water flows in very, very strongly. I face the inlet and hang, on to the sides, then with my knees apart I squat down until my vulva is exactly opposite the end about six or seven inches away. Max kneels behind me and comes into me.

The underwater jet forces my labia open and plays directly on my clitoris. This can lead to surprising events like female ejaculation. I never thought I was able to ejaculate but this has shown me that sexually I can do whatever I want! And the jet also hits the base of Max’s penis which doesn’t come in me, and joggles his balls about, which he finds very exciting. I always have seven or eight orgasms, and Max never fewer than two. His second one always takes longer than the first, which is why I have so many more orgasms than Max.

But once when Max was particularly randy he had three in about three minutes, and then had two more slower ones. I lost count of mine that time. We had to go and lie on the bed afterwards, we were completely exhausted. But it was a fantastic experience.

Sex & Orgasms – Making A Woman Come

Would you like to see the easiest and best way to make a woman come? Give any woman massive orgasms easily?

Yes? Then simply read on, and we will show you how to make any woman orgasm easily and quickly!

We start by looking at the process of sexual arousal.

Sexual arousal is not just something that happens in the mind; it happens in the mind and the body together.  There’s a name for that process of arousal – the sexual response cycle.

This has four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Each stage builds upon the last so long as the right kind of stimulation is applied at the right time and with the right intensity. And that will lead to an orgasm. So at its most basic, making a woman come is all about doing the right thing at the right time.

The Process Of Arousal:
The Female Sexual Response Cycle

Step 1 On The Road To Orgasm (Climax)

The sexual response cycle often begins with foreplay. This promotes sexual arousal.

As you know, foreplay can take many forms, ranging from simple loving look to a gentle touch, from a passionate kiss to a warm embrace, from gentle stroking of the skin to a vigorous massage. Most women need much more foreplay than men if they are to reach orgasm. That’s because foreplay is essential to promote desire.

Stimulation of the clitoris is a great way to bring a woman to orgasm!
Stimulation of her body, leading to gentle stimulation of her nipples or clitoris is a great way to arouse a woman before intercourse. It can also be a great way to bring her to orgasm before intercourse, as only a small percentage of women can reach orgasm through intercourse alone.

Whatever from foreplay takes, if a woman is responsive, stimulation, some changes will take place in her body which signal her growing sexual arousal.

These changes include an increased flow of blood to her genitals, with some engorgement of the erectile tissue of the clitoris, vulva and labia. At the same time her skin becomes more sensitive to touch.

Her breasts swell in size and her nipples become more sensitive to stimulation. But since the nipples are very sensitive anyway, an aggressive touch may not be pleasant, so men- beware of being too firm, too soon!

If you are aiming to take a woman to orgasm, or force her to come with you on a sexual journey, make sure you touch her lightly. The best approach is to check what she actually wants, so ask her how she likes to be touched! 

For some women, it is not the destination (orgasm) but the journey (arousal, foreplay, intimacy) which is most exciting.

And perhaps the most obvious sign of her bodily arousal is production of vaginal lubrication, sometimes in large quantities, so much so that she may feel the wetness growing and seeping outwards into her underwear. This is often accompanied by a sense of warmth. And in this first stage of arousal, her clitoris begins to swell with  blood and becomes more prominent. (A process called “engorgement”. Not a very sexy word!)

Massage is a great way to arouse most women, so to help you in your quest to make a woman come, here’s a video on a sensual orgasm massage technique!

Step 2: Sexual Arousal

As sexual stimulation continues, muscle tension increases throughout a woman’s body: this tension will eventually  be released at the moment of climax.

Her rate of breathing increases, her blood pressure goes up, and her heart beats faster. As she becomes aroused, the man may also find his arousal mirroring hers. If he is aiming to manufacture her coming, he may have to control his own increasing arousal while she catches up with him: women generally take ten or twenty times as long to be fully aroused and ready for orgasm as men do.

Foreplay between man and woman.
Foreplay can be very enjoyable for both the man and the woman as it builds intimacy and ensures a woman is aroused enough to achieve orgasm. However, it does require restraint and self-discipline on the part of the man, who may need to delay his own need for sexual pleasure until his partner has had her orgasm.

What this means, in practice, is that a woman may need between twenty and thirty minutes of foreplay before she is ready to achieve orgasm.

Now, a lot of men think that they can simply kiss a woman a little, perhaps fondle her breasts for a few minutes, maybe twiddle her clitoris, and she’ll be ready for penetration. This is really selfish. A woman needs time. And even when she’s ready for penetration and her body is ready to take her to orgasm, there’s another issue. Many women – in fact the vast majority – will not be able to reach orgasm through penetration and intercourse alone. Most need additional clitoral stimulation to come.

Obviously, for men who are fortunate enough to be with a woman who can come during intercourse, this is not relevant. But for the rest of us, there’s a great strategy which comes highly recommended for achieving both male and female sexual pleasure. Ready? Here it is:

Give your woman an orgasm by orally pleasuring her, or by pleasuring her with a sex toy such as a vibrator, or by using your fingers, before you enter her.  She’ll really like this approach to lovemaking because it shows you know how important it is to give her pleasure (an orgasm) before you take your own pleasure.

100 Orgasms A Day – See It To Believe It!

There will be also be changes to her vagina, with the entrance tightening slightly and the inner parts ballooning and increasing in length.

As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris becomes larger and goes through a number of changes that cause the angle of the clitoral body to change. Such changes are useful signs for a man aiming to make a woman come quickly and easily – they can be the clues to what to do next in the process of sexual arousal.

It is at this point that the G-spot changes in texture from rough to smooth, a change which some people believe is caused by swelling of part of the clitoris, causing it to lie more closely on top of the vaginal wall.

You can see the location of these parts on this picture:

diagram of female sexual anatomy

Diagram showing the location of a woman’s sexual pleasure spots, including the G spot

The clitoral glans usually disappears beneath its hood and remains there until the point of climax or orgasm unless exposed by pulling the skin back.

At the same time a woman’s uterus shifts upwards so as to allow the vagina to expand lengthwise, thereby allowing the penis to thrust more deeply.

Unless the clitoris is stimulated during sex, a woman is unlikely to climax during sexual intercourse. That is true whether she is stimulating herself or a man is trying to make her come during partnered sexual activity.

picture of the clitoris showing the clitoral hood
Two important things to note: the location of the clitoral hood, which may cover the glans of the clitoris as a woman becomes more aroused. Also, the vaginal opening is well away from the area of the clitoris, which is why many women who can only reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, will not receive enough stimulation during intercourse to make them come. A better way to give a woman pleasure may be to take her to orgasm before you enter her.

Step 3: The Plateau Phase – Making A Woman Come

In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.

During the plateau phase she may experience a skin flush, deeper breathing and a higher heart rate; certainly her genitals will change color, as her labia become flushed with blood and her vaginal tissues swell.

As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm. 

It’s often the transition from the plateau phase into  orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm. (Read more about difficulties with orgasm for women here.)

Men, when trying to make a woman come, and familiar with the way in which they stimulate their own penis during masturbation, will often apply much more vigorous and rapid stimulation to a woman’s clitoris at this point.

While it’s certainly true there is a point where a woman may need this additional stimulation to reach orgasm, it has to be timed to perfection, otherwise a woman is likely to feel her climax slipping away from her.

Woman reaching the point of orgasm during intercourse
Few men know how to make a woman come  during intercourse without additional stimulation of her clitoris. But as you can see above, it is possible.

What most women want and need to reach orgasm is rhythmic regular stimulation at the right pressure, until the very last moment, and then some additional pressure or faster stimulation to tip her over the edge.

The climax itself involves a series of contractions of the muscles of the vaginal walls, the uterus, and the pelvic floor muscles.  These contract rhythmically at just under one second intervals.

All of these contractions are accompanied by a great sensation of pleasure and, in some women, the emission of a small amount of fluid from the vagina – a sort of female ejaculation, a process captured on video many times, and is a real phenomenon.

The number of contractions a woman experiences when coming generally ranges between three and fifteen, although a few  women can experience much more prolonged contractions.

And some women experience their orgasms as a whole body sensation rather than just a pleasurable feeling in their genitals. So there are no rules – and it’s probably safe to say that all women’s experiences of climax are different – both between different women and in the same woman over time.

One thing I have come across many times in my work with couples is the woman wishing that her man could last longer during intercourse before he ejaculates.

This is a real issue, because in my experience, few men really seem to know what to do if they come before their woman would like them to do so. Often men want to last longer in bed but just don’t know how to do so. So, I have a suggestion! Take a look at the website www.massivestayingpower.com This may be helpful for you as a man if you wish to make love for longer before you come.

Step 4 : The Resolution Phase

A woman’s body returns to her pre-aroused state. 

arousalThis process happens much more slowly in women than men.

Indeed, women can often have another orgasm soon after their first; which is distinctly different to men, who have a refractory period, during which it is impossible for them to become sexually aroused again.

This is the kind of information that a man trying to make a woman come needs to know – for example, it is often a better idea for him to give her an orgasm before entering her and enjoying his own orgasm.

Why do men want to sleep after orgasm and women to cuddle?

It’s down to the hormones we produce – after she’s had an orgasm during sex a woman is much more likely to want a period of cuddling and interaction; after his orgasm, a man is likely to want to sleep.