Many woman have one special sexual approach which makes them aroused, and can sometimes make them reach orgasm without direct stimulation of the genitals. Here are examples:

“Anal intercourse. It’s so exciting!” Please be careful if you do this, and watch out for the transfer of yeast cells from the vagina to the anus. This can cause yeast infections of the vagina, or Bacterial Vaginosis. Bad news both!

“Running his fingers all over the lips of my vagina and inside and out and on and on forever, and I get sexually aroused so very slowly and yet realizing that I can go on rising until eternity, and anticipating, and finally he plunges in a finger, two fingers hard and go on from there, and/or a special thrill, a sudden twist of the hand so that the wrist bone grates against the soft sensitive insides of the tops of my thighs, and I come in a massive climax, with my natural sexual lubrication spurting out of me!”

“I love him to run his hands over and under my ass while we’re making love at the same time that we’re kissing.”

“Standing when you are held so close and tight you can feel your man’s penis and balls fitting so comfortably between your legs.”

“I love to have my tits played with. I get really turned on when a man sucks on them. I get turned on by this more than by anything else. When a man plays with my clitoris with his fingers, it feels really good, but I don’t come.”

“My lover caresses and touches every inch of my body, but when he brushes my vagina with his penis, it is the most glorious moment of all his caresses. He knows how much I enjoy this moment and prolongs entry as long as I can stand it.”

“The touch of his penis at my vagina entrance makes me leap forward towards orgasm with a big jump.”

“Having my breasts and nipples caressed arouses me very much and can soon bring me off. I especially, like to have a man take one of my nipples into his mouth. I could and have spent much time having a man do that to me. Second to that is cunnilingus which arouses me about as much.”

“Having the area of my clitoris and vagina caressed makes me respond more than anything else. One way of doing that, which is difficult for a man to do, but which I get most pleasure from, is having that area caressed with the top of his penis. If he cannot do that, doing it with his tongue is just about as good.”

“Sixty-nine – mutual oral sex – arouses us both on more than anything else. Standing in the shower with the water and soap falling off us is great and also good clean fun.”

Although most women respond much more keenly than men to gentle stroking and almost require this type of preliminary play to become fully aroused, men also welcome this type of caress.

Remember the general principle that stroking with the whole hand generally proves exciting to both parties, while fingertip stroking usually excites the passive partner more than the active one.

Video – ways for a woman to orgasm

An example of what makes a woman come!

Krystyna is thirty-four, a Swede married to an Englishman, and lives in Sussex, England. She emails to say:

“We have a heated swimming pool, where we can swim naked all the year round. We often make love while we are swimming. It’s quite surprising the number of different things you can do.

Two positions that we use, each of which I find especially exciting and which give me fantastic orgasms. In one I lie on my tummy holding on to the steps, which are at the shallow end. When he kneels down in the water Max’s penis is exactly level with my vagina.

So he kneels between my legs and pushes into me, and then puts his hand round and parts my labia. He doesn’t touch my clitoris at all. Then we rock backwards and forwards, and the movement of the water over my clitoris is indescribable. It takes a long time for me to come off like this, because the build-up is slow.

As you know, a man who has control of his ejaculation and knows the art of lasting in bed is a man who most women would prefer as a lover. At least compared to a man who has no control and ejaculates prematurely before the woman is satisfied during sex.

Building up to orgasm may take more than a quarter of an hour, but all the time there are these superb sensations which slowly get more and more intense, until there is a huge burst, which makes me tremble like a leaf from fingertips to toes.

Max always holds out until I begin to tremble, then he brings himself to orgasm and the jerking of his penis inside me makes me tremble even more. The more I tremble, the more intense my sensations are. I have blacked out coming off like this, which I have never done when we make love in bed or anywhere else. Another way we do it is to go into deeper water, so that Max’s feet are firmly touching the bottom and his shoulders are above the water.

Then I climb on to his penis and put my legs round his waist, and cross my feet. When Max bends his knees and straightens them, his penis goes in and out of my vagina and as it does so, it makes the water flow under a kind of pressure between my labia and over my clitoris, and this is fantastic, too.

But most fantastic of all is when we do it at the water inlet. This is in the shallow end, and the water flows in very, very strongly. I face the inlet and hang, on to the sides, then with my knees apart I squat down until my vulva is exactly opposite the end about six or seven inches away. Max kneels behind me and comes into me.

The underwater jet forces my labia open and plays directly on my clitoris. This can lead to surprising events like female ejaculation. I never thought I was able to ejaculate but this has shown me that sexually I can do whatever I want! And the jet also hits the base of Max’s penis which doesn’t come in me, and joggles his balls about, which he finds very exciting. I always have seven or eight orgasms, and Max never fewer than two. His second one always takes longer than the first, which is why I have so many more orgasms than Max.

But once when Max was particularly randy he had three in about three minutes, and then had two more slower ones. I lost count of mine that time. We had to go and lie on the bed afterwards, we were completely exhausted. But it was a fantastic experience.

Would you like to see the easiest and best way to make a woman come? Give any woman massive orgasms easily?

Yes? Then simply read on, and we will show you how to make any woman orgasm easily and quickly!

We start by looking at the process of sexual arousal.

Sexual arousal is not just something that happens in the mind; it happens in the mind and the body together.  There’s a name for that process of arousal – the sexual response cycle.

This has four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Each stage builds upon the last so long as the right kind of stimulation is applied at the right time and with the right intensity. And that will lead to an orgasm. So at its most basic, making a woman come is all about doing the right thing at the right time.

The Process Of Arousal:
The Female Sexual Response Cycle

Step 1 On The Road To Orgasm (Climax)

The sexual response cycle often begins with foreplay. This promotes sexual arousal.

As you know, foreplay can take many forms, ranging from simple loving look to a gentle touch, from a passionate kiss to a warm embrace, from gentle stroking of the skin to a vigorous massage. Most women need much more foreplay than men if they are to reach orgasm. That’s because foreplay is essential to promote desire.

Whatever from foreplay takes, if a woman is responsive, stimulation, some changes will take place in her body which signal her growing sexual arousal.

These changes include an increased flow of blood to her genitals, with some engorgement of the erectile tissue of the clitoris, vulva and labia. At the same time her skin becomes more sensitive to touch.

Her breasts swell in size and her nipples become more sensitive to stimulation. But since the nipples are very sensitive anyway, an aggressive touch may not be pleasant, so men- beware of being too firm, too soon!

If you are aiming to take a woman to orgasm, or force her to come with you on a sexual journey, make sure you touch her lightly. The best approach is to check what she actually wants, so ask her how she likes to be touched! 

For some women, it is not the destination (orgasm) but the journey (arousal, foreplay, intimacy) which is most exciting.

And perhaps the most obvious sign of her bodily arousal is production of vaginal lubrication, sometimes in large quantities, so much so that she may feel the wetness growing and seeping outwards into her underwear. This is often accompanied by a sense of warmth. And in this first stage of arousal, her clitoris begins to swell with  blood and becomes more prominent. (A process called “engorgement”. Not a very sexy word!)

Massage is a great way to arouse most women, so to help you in your quest to make a woman come, here’s a video on a sensual orgasm massage technique!

Step 2: Sexual Arousal

As sexual stimulation continues, muscle tension increases throughout a woman’s body: this tension will eventually  be released at the moment of climax.

Her rate of breathing increases, her blood pressure goes up, and her heart beats faster. As she becomes aroused, the man may also find his arousal mirroring hers. If he is aiming to manufacture her coming, he may have to control his own increasing arousal while she catches up with him: women generally take ten or twenty times as long to be fully aroused and ready for orgasm as men do.

What this means, in practice, is that a woman may need between twenty and thirty minutes of foreplay before she is ready to achieve orgasm.

Now, a lot of men think that they can simply kiss a woman a little, perhaps fondle her breasts for a few minutes, maybe twiddle her clitoris, and she’ll be ready for penetration. This is really selfish. A woman needs time. And even when she’s ready for penetration and her body is ready to take her to orgasm, there’s another issue. Many women – in fact the vast majority – will not be able to reach orgasm through penetration and intercourse alone. Most need additional clitoral stimulation to come.

Obviously, for men who are fortunate enough to be with a woman who can come during intercourse, this is not relevant. But for the rest of us, there’s a great strategy which comes highly recommended for achieving both male and female sexual pleasure. Ready? Here it is:

Give your woman an orgasm by orally pleasuring her, or by pleasuring her with a sex toy such as a vibrator, or by using your fingers, before you enter her.  She’ll really like this approach to lovemaking because it shows you know how important it is to give her pleasure (an orgasm) before you take your own pleasure.

There will be also be changes to her vagina, with the entrance tightening slightly and the inner parts ballooning and increasing in length.

As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris becomes larger and goes through a number of changes that cause the angle of the clitoral body to change. Such changes are useful signs for a man aiming to make a woman come quickly and easily – they can be the clues to what to do next in the process of sexual arousal.

It is at this point that the G-spot changes in texture from rough to smooth, a change which some people believe is caused by swelling of part of the clitoris, causing it to lie more closely on top of the vaginal wall.

You can see the location of these parts on this picture:

Diagram showing the location of a woman’s sexual pleasure spots, including the G spot

The clitoral glans usually disappears beneath its hood and remains there until the point of climax or orgasm unless exposed by pulling the skin back.

At the same time a woman’s uterus shifts upwards so as to allow the vagina to expand lengthwise, thereby allowing the penis to thrust more deeply.

Unless the clitoris is stimulated during sex, a woman is unlikely to climax during sexual intercourse. That is true whether she is stimulating herself or a man is trying to make her come during partnered sexual activity.

Step 3: The Plateau Phase – Making A Woman Come

In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.

During the plateau phase she may experience a skin flush, deeper breathing and a higher heart rate; certainly her genitals will change color, as her labia become flushed with blood and her vaginal tissues swell.

As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm. 

It’s often the transition from the plateau phase into  orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm. (Read more about difficulties with orgasm for women here.)

Men, when trying to make a woman come, and familiar with the way in which they stimulate their own penis during masturbation, will often apply much more vigorous and rapid stimulation to a woman’s clitoris at this point.

While it’s certainly true there is a point where a woman may need this additional stimulation to reach orgasm, it has to be timed to perfection, otherwise a woman is likely to feel her climax slipping away from her.

What most women want and need to reach orgasm is rhythmic regular stimulation at the right pressure, until the very last moment, and then some additional pressure or faster stimulation to tip her over the edge.

The climax itself involves a series of contractions of the muscles of the vaginal walls, the uterus, and the pelvic floor muscles.  These contract rhythmically at just under one second intervals.

All of these contractions are accompanied by a great sensation of pleasure and, in some women, the emission of a small amount of fluid from the vagina – a sort of female ejaculation, a process captured on video many times, and is a real phenomenon.

The number of contractions a woman experiences when coming generally ranges between three and fifteen, although a few  women can experience much more prolonged contractions.

And some women experience their orgasms as a whole body sensation rather than just a pleasurable feeling in their genitals. So there are no rules – and it’s probably safe to say that all women’s experiences of climax are different – both between different women and in the same woman over time.

One thing I have come across many times in my work with couples is the woman wishing that her man could last longer during intercourse before he ejaculates.

This is a real issue, because in my experience, few men really seem to know what to do if they come before their woman would like them to do so. Often men want to last longer in bed but just don’t know how to do so. So, I have a suggestion! Take a look at the website www.massivestayingpower.com This may be helpful for you as a man if you wish to make love for longer before you come.

Step 4 : The Resolution Phase

A woman’s body returns to her pre-aroused state. 

This process happens much more slowly in women than men.

Indeed, women can often have another orgasm soon after their first; which is distinctly different to men, who have a refractory period, during which it is impossible for them to become sexually aroused again.

This is the kind of information that a man trying to make a woman come needs to know – for example, it is often a better idea for him to give her an orgasm before entering her and enjoying his own orgasm.

Why do men want to sleep after orgasm and women to cuddle?

It’s down to the hormones we produce – after she’s had an orgasm during sex a woman is much more likely to want a period of cuddling and interaction; after his orgasm, a man is likely to want to sleep.