Ways To Take A Woman To Orgasm

The success of sex: men knowing how to make women come!

Orgasm is a neurophysiological response which may have developed to allow orgasm and ejaculation in men but which remained as a potential response in women because there was no evolutionary reason why the neural pathways causing orgasm should be suppressed in the female of the species.

This isn’t merely a patriarchal view of the female orgasm, it’s a biological hypothesis which explains the presence of the orgasm rather in the way that evolutionary theory explains why evolution did not suppress the development of nipples in men.

The ease with which women achieve orgasm

This is clearly affected by a range of factors, including a variable genetic factor. And of course a social factor – how much she trusts her man will affect how easily he can make a woman come during sexual interaction.

statistics relating to female orgasmAlthough  work has been done on this, the research methodology was somewhat flawed, but in general it indicated that there is a genetic component of around 34% in the difficulty women have in reaching orgasm during intercourse, and 45% for any difficulty in reaching orgasm during masturbation.

Although this data is interesting, it’s not actually particularly helpful in understanding why women can’t reach orgasm and in offering them methods by which they can facilitate their achievement of sexual climax.

For example, the range of factors that impact on a woman’s ability to achieve orgasm or a man’s ability to make her come will include sociological factors such as the meaning and acceptability of orgasm in her culture and her social environment.

orgasm during intercourse may be important to many womenAnd we’ve already implied that some women feel more comfortable reaching orgasm during vaginal intercourse than through masturbation because of an association in their minds between clitoral stimulation or masturbation and unacceptable or otherwise negative behavior; it’s possible they even see it as a taboo activity.

Equally, any sexual activity which might threaten the intimacy of a sexual relationship could be potentially threatening for some women. It is not threatening, however, when a man knows how to make a woman come. She tends to approve of his investment in her sexual pleasure.

In addition, personality factors and the influence of religion are likely to be of major importance in the complexity of the variability of female orgasm capacity.

Needless to say, regarding women’s orgasm as a byproduct of human male embryonic development is contentious position, one that has been termed “politically incorrect”, if for no other reason than the fact that orgasm is an extremely important source of pleasure and a valued element of sexuality for many women, whether they come during intercourse or by a man making them come through masturbation.

Wanting a man who knows how to make a woman come?

In a survey of women in heterosexual relationships, Bancroft asked them how important various factors were to their beiug able to reach orgasm and sexual happiness. In order of importance, the percentage of women answering “very” or “extremely” important to the following questions were:

1) to feel emotionally close to your partner – 83.5%

2) to feel your partner is sexually satisfied – 78.9%

3) to feel talking comfortable but your partner about – 61.5%

4) to have an orgasm – 29.6%

shows how a man can make a woman come during intercourseThis clearly indicates that sex and orgasm has a different significance to women than it does to men, although again one has to ask to what extent woman’s limited expectation of orgasm is determined by socio-cultural factors. One woman will see orgasm as a very different objective to sexual satisfaction, another may want her man to make her come at every opportunity and may think sex disappointing if this does not happen.

Frequency of orgasm

Kinsey defined total sexual outlet in men as orgasm and ejaculation combined, regardless of what sort of stimulation produced it. On this basis he found that 2.1% of his male research subjects had a zero frequency of sexual outlet.

There is no data available about how many women fail to reach orgasm because of body image issues such as being overweight, and the attendant shame and embarrassment they feel about this.

However, the number of women who are dieting strongly suggests that a high proportion of women feel they are overweight and would like an effective 12 week diet plan to help them lose the excess pounds.

Among men who are sexually active, 72% claim that they always had an orgasm to climax and ejaculated during sex with a partner, 21.8% said they usually did, 3.7% said they sometimes did, and 2.6% said they rarely or never did.

This latter figure presumably represents the percentage of men who, at the time, were prepared to admit to having, or were identified as having, delayed ejaculation.

In a French research project in 1994 a group of men reported that they achieved orgasm most easily through vaginal penetration, while 47% of men said they always came that way and 49% said they came “rather easily” that way.

Interestingly enough, during masturbation by their partner, the percentages of men who always came were 22% and who “rather easily” came was 53%: the comparative figures for achieving ejaculation by fellatio are 22% and 43% respectively. The figures for the proportion of men who were able to make a woman come is not given, unfortunately.

Women’s Experience Of Orgasm

shere hite - the hite reportIn the majority of surveys, starting with the work by Shere Hite in 1976, one finding occurs consistently: a substantial majority of women require stimulation of the clitoris before they reach orgasm. 

So what do you do if you’re trying to make a woman come?

picture of the female g spotEven that assertion, a simple factual observation, can raise controversial conclusions, since some experts believe that only when the G spot has been awakened by sexual experience or emotional connection to the partner  can a man make a woman come through vaginal stimulation alone.

picture the clitorisCertainly there is an abundance of circumstantial evidence which suggests that there is some fundamental difference in origin and experience between sexual climax that’s achieved by clitoral stimulation compared to one achieved by stimulation of the vagina alone.

Even now, after all the work that has been conducted on the experience of orgasm, it’s not understood why orgasm produces such intense pleasure. This reflects the difficulty of associating subjective experiences such as orgasmic pleasure with neurophysiological events inside the brain.

Yet it is a good motivation for men and women to seek sexual interactions and mutual pleasure…. and certainly female orgasm is a good motivation for a man to learn how to make a woman come!

Certainly the production of endorphins in the brain has been implicated in the excitement and pleasure of the orgasmic experience.

There is however a major difference between men and women in terms of the return of the various physiological aspects of the body to normality after sexual climax.

The refractory period, that is to say the period after orgasm during which an individual remains unresponsive to further sexual stimulation, is much longer in a man than a woman. Indeed it’s not uncommon to find that a woman can experience repeated – or multiple – orgasms in a short period.

0rgasmThis doesn’t mean that women don’t have a refractory period; rather, it means we just don’t know what it might be or what it might look like. Kinsey reported that only 14% of the women in his research were capable of multiple climax on a regular basis. And men can learn how to make a woman come on a regular basis.

But although there may be many women who have not achieved their full potential in this area, the research has simply not been conducted to understand exactly how many women are capable of multiple orgasm, nor indeed how many would wish to experience them, nor has there been any investigation of the conditions under which this phenomenon might be achieved.

 

Female ejaculation during orgasm

Some women are worried by a tendency to release fluid during orgasm, often assuming that the fluid is urine. However, analysis of the fluid suggests that it contains chemical compounds which are reminiscent of prostate secretions in men.

Women who undergo the experience of female ejaculation, as men who learn how to bring a woman off, how to make her come, in this way, will well know, appear to develop a swelling in the anterior vaginal wall close to the area of the G spot which disappears when ejaculations taken place.

This swelling seems to be caused by the fluid collecting in the urethra at that point, before it is expelled from the body during sexual arousal.

Here’s our favorite sex educator, Laci Green, on How To Make A Woman Come:

Although there is considerable variability between different women in the degree to which they have paraurethral ducts around the urethra, it may well be that the fluid secreted by these ducts and the associated glands is the one that can be expelled during “female ejaculation”.

This is a process that appears to be similar to the ejection of semen from the body after the emission phase of sexual response (when semen is released into the urethra before expulsion) in men.

The function of a woman’s orgasm

Although one obvious function of male orgasm might be to encourage mating, with the consequent ejaculation of semen, it’s not quite so clear what the function of orgasm in women might be.

Suggestions include the simple emotional reward of pleasure “for” allowing sexual intercourse to take place, the resolution of vaginal tenting (ballooning of the vagina during orgasm) which allows the cervix to dip down into the pool of semen left in the vagina after ejaculation.

And also, it seems, stimulation of the man’s penis so that he ejaculates because of the stimulation of the vaginal contractions on his glans and penile shaft. Other ideas include the reinforcement of pair bonding, and the upsuck of semen into the uterus.

The problem with these explanations is that very few women experience orgasm as a result of sexual intercourse alone. This makes it difficult to explain how female orgasm came to evolve if it was a reward for allowing intercourse to occur!

But in the end does it matter? We know what orgasm feels like, and we know it bonds a couple closely. Maybe all we need to know is that it is wonderful to know how to make a woman come!

It’s much more likely there is a potential for orgasm during intercourse, but the success of reproduction is by no means dependent on female orgasm, and nor is the female orgasm dependent on the experience of sexual intercourse.

Explains all the best and easiest ways to make a woman come.