According to Cosmopolitan magazine, which isn’t perhaps the most reliable source of information about sex on the planet, but certainly is one of the most popular, around 10% of women have never had an orgasm with a partner.
And that is truly shocking! Considering that the basis of all male-female relationships is love and sex, what can be done about it? Well, obviously, one of the things that can be done about it is for women to take matters into their own hands — and yes, I’m speaking quite literally — women can give themselves an orgasm. They can make themselves come.
So here, courtesy of Cosmo, are some hot tips for female orgasms.
First of all, if you want to come easily, get on top during sexual intercourse. That way, if you lean forward, you can compress your clitoris between your pelvic bone and your mate’s, providing clitoral stimulation – and hopefully sufficiently intense to make you come. But the exact angle you’re going to use to climax quickly will depend on how your bodies come together — for example, how much of a tummy you’ve got (and how much he’s got!)
However, if the man is lying on the bed, it might be necessary for him to arch his back a little bit so that his pelvis is raised, giving you the opportunity to “grind” your clitoris against his pelvis. Hopefully that will make you come.
Now, one of the most important things to remember is that sex isn’t just about finding the right sexual position or technique. The truth of the matter is that women can become far more aroused than men during sex, and although it takes a different set of skills to arouse a woman to the point where she’s going to come than it does to arouse a man to that point. The interesting thing is that a man’s arousal depends to a large extent on how aroused the woman he’s with is….
Which means that faking it helps no-one, even if you’re doing it with the best intentions in the world (like, for example, not hurting his feelings!)
So the key to stopping faking orgasms is to not go through a process of suddenly admitting that you’ve been faking orgasm all the while, but to show your partner exactly what you need him to do to make you come as a woman. You can say something like “I want to try something new and see if it makes reaching orgasm easier for me as a woman.” He’ll understand that! Or you could invite him to masturbate you, showing him exactly where to put his hand or tongue, to make your orgasm easy.
Or, you could use the coital alignment technique. Watch this video.
Now, one of the interesting things here, of course, is that it’s the techniques you discover when you’re masturbating alone that you can use when you’re having sex with your partner.
If you’re a woman who doesn’t come during intercourse — and very few women do — one thing you can do is to explain to your partner that you like clitoral stimulation, and you want more of this especially during sex with him, to make it feel better for you.
Here are some great sex positions for making women orgasm…..
More on faking orgasms
One of the ways that you can introduce the subject tactfully without hurting his feelings (or shattering any illusions he has about his power to make you come during intercourse) is by suggesting you enjoy some mutual masturbation to get things moving.
Having said all that, you know as well as I do that part of your responsibility is to make it easier for yourself to reach orgasm — and so you’ve no doubt heard of Kegel exercises, and believe me, Kegel exercises are one of the things that will make reaching orgasm a heck of a lot easier! You do need resistance, though, it’s no use just contracting the muscle as if you were stopping yourself urinating.
That means buying something like the Kegel Master, a device specially designed for women to increase the strength of their PC muscles and hopefully make achieving orgasm easier for them.
Are already mentioned, one of the ideal sex positions for a woman to reach orgasm during intercourse is with her on top so that she can engineer the right clitoral stimulation she needs to achieve orgasm.
However – there are other approaches. In the classic missionary position, you can tilt your hips so that you’re directing his penis to the right spot inside your vagina — the “right spot” being the one most likely to make you come!
Alternatively, if he’s got big deal about making a woman come, you can grab hold of his hips and move him in exactly the way you want him to move so his cock stimulates your clitoris or vulva.
And while techniques are all very well, they are only part of the story. So, during sex, it’s always possible for you, or him, to “lend a helping hand”, in other words, for you or him to stimulate your clitoris, thereby helping yourself reach orgasm easily. Similarly, if you’re actually lying face down in the rather nice and comfy position that is called “reverse missionary”, then one option is view to grind your clitoris against a pillow or the bed itself.