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(Warning – this is an explicit video with a loud soundtrack. Watch it alone, maybe?)
Now, let’s look at the process of sexual arousal.
Clearly sexual arousal is not just something that happens in the mind; it happens in the mind and the body together.
The sequence of events leading up to the point of having an orgasm is known as the sexual response cycle: it has four stages – excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.
Each stage builds upon the last, in both men and women, so long as the right kind of stimulation is applied at the right time and with the right intensity.
The Process Of Arousal:
The Female Sexual Response Cycle
Step 1 On The Road To Orgasm (Climax)
The sexual response cycle often begins with foreplay. This promotes sexual arousal.
As you know, foreplay can take many forms, ranging from simple loving look to a gentle touch, from a passionate kiss to a warm embrace, from gentle stroking of the skin to a vigorous massage. Most women would admit that if they are being brought to orgasm, foreplay is essential to promote desire.
Whatever the stimulation, there are changes in a woman’s body which make her aware of her growing sexual arousal.
These changes include an increased flow of blood to her genitals, with some engorgement of the erectile tissue of the clitoris, vulva and labia. At the same time her skin becomes more sensitive to touch.
Her breasts swell in size and her nipples become more sensitive to stimulation. But since the nipples are very sensitive anyway, an aggressive touch may not be pleasant, so men- beware!
If you are aiming to take a woman to orgasm, or force her to come with you on a sexual journey, make sure you touch lightly – or at least in the way she wants to be touched!
For some women, it is not the destination (orgasm) but the journey (arousal, foreplay, intimacy) which is most exciting.
And perhaps the most obvious sign of her bodily arousal is production of vaginal lubrication, sometimes in large quantities, so much so that she may feel the wetness growing and seeping outwards into her underwear.
This is often accompanied by a sense of warmth. And finally her clitoris engorges and becomes more prominent as blood flow to the clitoral tissues increases.
Step 2: Sexual Arousal
As sexual stimulation continues, muscle tension increases throughout a woman’s body: this will be released at the moment of climax. Her rate of breathing increases, her blood pressure goes up, and her heart beats faster. As she becomes aroused, the man will also find his arousal mirroring hers. If he is aiming to manufacture her coming, he may have to control his own increasing arousal while she catches up with him.
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There will be also be changes to her vagina, with the entrance tightening slightly and the inner parts ballooning and increasing in length.
As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris becomes larger and goes through a number of changes that cause the angle of the clitoral body to change. Such changes are useful signs for a man aiming to make a woman come quickly and easily – they can be the clues to what to do next in the process of sexual arousal.
It is at this point that the G-spot changes in texture from rough to smooth, a change which some people believe is caused by swelling of part of the clitoris, causing it to lie more closely on top of the vaginal wall.
The clitoral glans certainly disappears beneath its hood and remains there until the point of climax or orgasm unless exposed by pulling the skin back.
Unless the clitoris is stimulated during sex, a woman is unlikely to climax during sexual intercourse. That is true whether she is stimulating herself or a man is trying to make her come during partnered sexual activity.
Step 3: The Plateau Phase – Making A Woman Come
In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.
During the plateau phase she may experience a skin flush, deeper breathing and a higher heart rate; certainly her genitals will change color, as her labia become flushed with blood and her vaginal tissues swell.
As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm. It’s often the transition from the plateau phase to the orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm.
Men, when trying to make a woman come, and familiar with the way in which they stimulate their own penis during masturbation, will often apply much more vigorous and rapid stimulation to a woman’s clitoris at this point.
While it’s certainly true there is a point where a woman may need this additional stimulation to reach orgasm, it has to be timed to perfection, otherwise a woman is likely to her climax slipping away from her.
What in fact is needed most is rhythmic regular stimulation at the right pressure, until the very last moment, and then some additional pressure or faster stimulation to tip her over the edge.
The climax itself involves a series of contractions of the muscles of the vaginal walls, the uterus, and the pelvic floor muscles. These contract rhythmically at just under one second intervals.
All of these contractions are accompanied by a great sensation of pleasure and, in some women, the emission of a small amount of fluid from the vagina – a sort of female ejaculation, a process captured on video many times, and is a real phenomenon.
The number of contractions a woman experiences when coming varies from three to fifteen, although some women can experience prolonged contractions.
And many women experience their orgasm as a whole body sensation rather than just in their genitals. It’s probably safe to say that all women’s experiences of climax are different – both between different women and in the same woman over time.
For better sex, the website www.massivestayingpower.com may be helpful if you need more information on how to reach orgasm during intercourse, which often depends on the man’s ability to engage in long lasting thrusting.
Step 4 : The Resolution Phase
A woman’s body returns to her pre-aroused state.
Indeed, women can often have another orgasm soon after their first; which is distinctly different to men, who have a refractory period, during which it is impossible for them to become sexually aroused again.
This is the kind of information that a man trying to make a woman come needs to know – for example, it is often a better idea for him to give her an orgasm before entering her and enjoying his own orgasm.
Why do men want to sleep after orgasm and women to cuddle?
It’s down to the hormones we produce – after she’s had an orgasm during sex a woman is much more likely to want a period of cuddling and interaction; after his orgasm, a man is likely to want to sleep.