Female Orgasm and Ejaculation

Take Your Sex Life Into Orbit With Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation is one of the most exciting and arousing experiences that you can have! But some women shy away from it because they tend to think that it’s not “ladylike”, while men are really turned on by it…

What you have to understand here is that for the vast majority of men, nothing is more exciting during sexual activity than a woman who is so turned on that she can actually ejaculate.

You see, men love sex with a woman who has aroused them, and the best way for that to happen is for the woman to be highly aroused herself.

That way your relationships will not only be sexually exciting, they will also be infused with mutual love and bliss – allowing you to be friends as well as lovers!

Sure – I’m not saying that being with a woman who has learned how to ejaculate will make you both fall madly in love! But sexual experimentation and mutual excitement certainly helps! (Advice on how a woman can get a man’s love can be found here.)

Indeed, in all my  experience researching female ejaculation, 90% of men I’ve interviewed have really adored it, and many were aroused by female ejaculation more than anything else.

By squirting, a woman demonstrates that she is highly aroused, relaxed about her sexuality, and sexually energized- and willing to please your lover!

There’s no question about female ejaculation being one of the ways in which women can reach a peak of sexual enjoyment far greater than during almost any other sexual activity.

That’s because the orgasms induced by G spot stimulation, which are responsible for female ejaculation, are of a different quality to clitoral orgasms.

The G spot, or the “clitoral-urethral complex”, as some scientists now prefer to call it, is full of pelvic nerves. This innervation is mystically different (I was originally typingdistinctly different, but I think maybe mystically is probably the more appropriate word!) to that of the clitoris.

The clitoris appears to be stimulated by a more or less mechanical stimulation of finger or tongue, and this can lead to a very pleasant but purely physical orgasm.

G spot stimulation appears to produce an emotional quality to a woman’s orgasm which is about connection with partner, connection to self, and perhaps even connection to the universe at large.

In that sense, G spot orgasms have a transpersonal quality which lends the depth and profundity that is hard to experience in any other form of female orgasm.

You can combine G spot orgasms with the physical pleasure of the clitoral orgasm, by massaging the G spot in a particular way, or by having it continually strokes during long-lasting intercourse by man’s erect penis.

However, I think there are comparatively few men who can sustain an erection for long enough to be able to bring a woman to G spot orgasm during intercourse… Most men ejaculate long before the woman is ready to come in this way.

That means most G spot stimulation which leads female ejaculation is going to have to be done by means of a finger or a sex toy… And although that isn’t quite the same as having it produced by your lovers erect penis thrusting inside your vagina, it’s still a pretty good way of achieving this level of sexual pleasure. Read more about how to make a woman come here.

Female Ejaculation – How to enjoy female ejaculation

Although it’s highly informative, this video doesn’t emphasize sufficiently the fact that the G spot orgasm is primarily the product of an intimate loving connection between a woman and her partner.

G spot orgasms are very different to clitoral orgasms, as I said above, and they depend on intimacy and connection which goes beyond the physicality of a sexual relationship into the emotional bond between two people.

Couple making love.
Few women can reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone.

Techniques like eye gazing, massage, physical connection, gentle touching and cuddling, coordinated breathing, and chakra alignment are all very necessary for a couple to experience the intimacy necessary for a woman to melt into state of her being which can experience a G spot orgasm.

One interesting aspect of all of this is the disrespect for the female orgasm, which the patriarchy has embodied and appears to continue to embody in many different forms even in the 21st-century. 

From  Glamour.com

Rather than dividing orgasms into clitoral, vaginal, and G-spot, they should all be referred to as “female orgasms,” says a new paper in Clinical Anatomy. 

Glamour Magazine is some interesting things to say about the G spot and clitoral orgasm. The paper suggests that all orgasms, whether clitoral, vaginal or G spot, should simply be referred to as “the female orgasm”.

This is because the idea of the “internal clitoris”, which some people think is the cause of vaginal orgasms, is a myth, say Vincenzo Puppo and Giulia Puppo, sexologists at the Italian Centre of Sexology.

They say that the clitoris is in fact just an external structure and it’s at the root of all female orgasms. Their paper suggests that a term which has come into popular usage, i.e. “clitoral bulbs”, should in fact be replaced with the phrase “vestibular bulbs”, because there is no connection anatomically between the clitoris and the vagina.

They claim that vaginal orgasms are really caused by stimulating the surrounding erectile tissue such as the clitoris and labia minora, and not by anything which is happening inside a woman’s body.

This is a remarkable claim, and a lot people will find it controversial.

One thing the Puppos do suggest which I’d tend to agree with, is that orgasm is possible for every woman if the clitoris is stimulated in the right way.

They make the point, quite correctly, that a lot of female orgasm is down to mental activity, and a woman can put a great deal of pressure on herself if she thinks she “ought” to come every time she has sex.

Equally, the feeling of failure if she doesn’t come can be quite devastating to a woman’s confidence about her ability to reach orgasm.

The idea that the clit is the sole source of female orgasm might even be encouraging to women who feel they’re on the brink of orgasm but never quite tip over into it. If this were true they would have a focus of sexual attention and wouldn’t need to worry about their G spot!

And the orgasm gap between men and women is something that really needs to be rectified. To be honest, what that probably means is men spending more time and effort making sure that their partners are sexually satisfied.

Finally, women shouldn’t feel inadequate if they can’t orgasm from penetration alone. Statistics often suggest that very few women can reach orgasm from penetration – but there are some who know that they can, and do!

How does their experience fit into the research of the sexolgist Puppos? Well, who knows – it’s one of the mysteries of the female body and the female orgasm that not every experience of orgasm can be easily explained in terms of conventional views of anatomy and sexual experience.

Perhaps that’s simply part of the attraction and mystery of human sexuality.

Sex & Orgasms – Making A Woman Come

Would you like to see the easiest and best way to make a woman come? Give any woman massive orgasms easily?

Yes? Then simply click on the link below to see a video explaining how to make any woman orgasm easily and quickly!

(Warning – this is an explicit video with a loud soundtrack. Watch it alone, maybe?)


Now, let’s look at the process of sexual arousal.

Clearly sexual arousal is not just something that happens in the mind; it happens in the mind and the body together.

The sequence of events leading up to the point of having an orgasm is known as the sexual response cycle: it has four stages – excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.

Each stage builds upon the last, in both men and women, so long as the right kind of stimulation is applied at the right time and with the right intensity.

The Process Of Arousal:
The Female Sexual Response Cycle

Step 1 On The Road To Orgasm (Climax)

The sexual response cycle often begins with foreplay. This promotes sexual arousal.

FemalesexualAs you know, foreplay can take many forms, ranging from simple loving look to a gentle touch, from a passionate kiss to a warm embrace, from gentle stroking of the skin to a vigorous massage. Most women would admit that if they are being brought to orgasm, foreplay is essential to promote desire.

Whatever the stimulation, there are changes in a woman’s body which make her aware of her growing sexual arousal.

These changes include an increased flow of blood to her genitals, with some engorgement of the erectile tissue of the clitoris, vulva and labia. At the same time her skin becomes more sensitive to touch.

Her breasts swell in size and her nipples become more sensitive to stimulation. But since the nipples are very sensitive anyway, an aggressive touch may not be pleasant, so men- beware!

If you are aiming to take a woman to orgasm, or force her to come with you on a sexual journey, make sure you touch lightly – or at least in the way she wants to be touched! 

For some women, it is not the destination (orgasm) but the journey (arousal, foreplay, intimacy) which is most exciting.

And perhaps the most obvious sign of her bodily arousal is production of vaginal lubrication, sometimes in large quantities, so much so that she may feel the wetness growing and seeping outwards into her underwear.

Advice on a sensual orgasm massage technique!

This is often accompanied by a sense of warmth. And finally her clitoris engorges and becomes more prominent as blood flow to the clitoral tissues increases.

Step 2: Sexual Arousal

As sexual stimulation continues, muscle tension increases throughout a woman’s body: this will be released at the moment of climax. Her rate of breathing increases, her blood pressure goes up, and her heart beats faster. As she becomes aroused, the man will also find his arousal mirroring hers. If he is aiming to manufacture her coming, he may have to control his own increasing arousal while she catches up with him.

100 Orgasms A Day – See It To Believe It!

There will be also be changes to her vagina, with the entrance tightening slightly and the inner parts ballooning and increasing in length.

As she becomes more aroused, her clitoris becomes larger and goes through a number of changes that cause the angle of the clitoral body to change. Such changes are useful signs for a man aiming to make a woman come quickly and easily – they can be the clues to what to do next in the process of sexual arousal.

gspotIt is at this point that the G-spot changes in texture from rough to smooth, a change which some people believe is caused by swelling of part of the clitoris, causing it to lie more closely on top of the vaginal wall.

The clitoral glans certainly disappears beneath its hood and remains there until the point of climax or orgasm unless exposed by pulling the skin back.

0rgasmAt the same time a woman’s uterus shifts upwards so as to allow the vagina to expand lengthwise, thereby allowing the penis to thrust more deeply.

Unless the clitoris is stimulated during sex, a woman is unlikely to climax during sexual intercourse. That is true whether she is stimulating herself or a man is trying to make her come during partnered sexual activity.

Step 3: The Plateau Phase – Making A Woman Come

In the plateau phase (see diagram above) a woman is highly aroused, both physically and mentally, and she can remain in that state for some time without reaching orgasm unless additional stimulation is applied to take her over into the orgasm phase.

During the plateau phase she may experience a skin flush, deeper breathing and a higher heart rate; certainly her genitals will change color, as her labia become flushed with blood and her vaginal tissues swell.

As mentioned above, with additional stimulation a woman will move from the plateau phase into orgasm.  It’s often the transition from the plateau phase to the orgasm which presents most difficulties for a woman when she is trying to have an orgasm.

Men, when trying to make a woman come, and familiar with the way in which they stimulate their own penis during masturbation, will often apply much more vigorous and rapid stimulation to a woman’s clitoris at this point.

While it’s certainly true there is a point where a woman may need this additional stimulation to reach orgasm, it has to be timed to perfection, otherwise a woman is likely to her climax slipping away from her.

What in fact is needed most is rhythmic regular stimulation at the right pressure, until the very last moment, and then some additional pressure or faster stimulation to tip her over the edge.

The climax itself involves a series of contractions of the muscles of the vaginal walls, the uterus, and the pelvic floor muscles.  These contract rhythmically at just under one second intervals.

All of these contractions are accompanied by a great sensation of pleasure and, in some women, the emission of a small amount of fluid from the vagina – a sort of female ejaculation, a process captured on video many times, and is a real phenomenon.

The number of contractions a woman experiences when coming varies from three to fifteen, although some women can experience prolonged contractions.

And many women experience their orgasm as a whole body sensation rather than just in their genitals. It’s probably safe to say that all women’s experiences of climax are different – both between different women and in the same woman over time.

For better sex, the website www.massivestayingpower.com may be helpful if you need more information on how to reach orgasm during intercourse, which often depends on the man’s ability to engage in long lasting thrusting.

Step 4 : The Resolution Phase

A woman’s body returns to her pre-aroused state. 

arousalThis process happens much more slowly in women than men.

Indeed, women can often have another orgasm soon after their first; which is distinctly different to men, who have a refractory period, during which it is impossible for them to become sexually aroused again.

This is the kind of information that a man trying to make a woman come needs to know – for example, it is often a better idea for him to give her an orgasm before entering her and enjoying his own orgasm.

Why do men want to sleep after orgasm and women to cuddle?

It’s down to the hormones we produce – after she’s had an orgasm during sex a woman is much more likely to want a period of cuddling and interaction; after his orgasm, a man is likely to want to sleep.

What Does Sexual Satisfaction Mean to You?

Sexual Satisfaction

I guess most men would say that sexual satisfaction is defined by whether or not they have an orgasm – and perhaps by the power and intensity of that orgasm.

And I would guess men think that knowing how to give a woman an orgasm is a vital part of sexual satisfaction.

But would the same be true for women? Do they think that knowing how to give a man an orgasm is satisfying?

And as a man, making love to women, did you ever stop to consider what might make sex satisfying for your partner?

In another post on this blog you can read some things about women’s attitudes to sex which you might surprise you. Did you know, for example, about the “orgasm gap” between men and women?

Understanding Meaning

To investigate what people mean when they talk about “sexual satisfaction”, Sara I McClelland of the University of Michigan asked 40 US participants a series of questions to determine their satisfaction on various aspects of sex including their emotions, the quality of the relationship, and how focused they were on their partner as opposed to how focused they were on orgasm during sex. 

You see, it’s  all very well doing a piece of research and simply assuming you know what “sexual satisfaction” means, but unless you ask real people what they think it means, you might not be measuring anything real at all. 

Also, it’s pretty damn’ obvious that sexual experiences and relationships are inextricably linked to the cultural context in which they take place – for example, what’s acceptable in one society is far from acceptable in another society.

For example, knowing how to make a woman come by means of cunnilingus is commonplace in the west but some religions forbid this way of pleasing a woman in bed.

Pleasuring a woman in bed is easy
What she thinks of as satisfaction may be very different from what he thinks of as satisfaction!

Sexual Satisfaction Is Not Just About Giving A Woman An Orgasm

So, sexual satisfaction can definitely mean different things to different people. Even so, we all tend to assume that we know what it means (orgasmic pleasure or frequency, perhaps).

Indeed, studies which have been done in the past simply set out to establish the answers to questions such as “How sexually satisfied are you?” This question can become meaningless quite quickly. For one thing, as we’ve already mentioned, the socio-political culture influences what people think of as indicating sexual satisfaction.

What Makes You Satisfied?

 Previous work has shown that men define sexual satisfaction in relation to how often they have intercourse, as well as the difference between how often they want intercourse and how often they get it.

Women, by contrast, define sexual satisfaction in terms of how often intercourse happens, but beyond that, trust and mutual enjoyment are essential before a woman will feel that she’s enjoyed sexual satisfaction.

To put it bluntly, men’s sexual satisfaction tends to depend less on relationships and context, and more on the experience of orgasm, than women’s.

This is not to imply that emotional factors are completely absent from men’s sexual satisfaction, but it’s important to note that men regard the outcome of intercourse as more important, while women seem to regard the context of intercourse as a direct factor in sexual satisfaction.

And then you have lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and “questioning” men and women whose view of what constitutes sexual satisfaction may be different again.

At this point you might be forgiven for thinking that this was becoming an incredibly complicated question – and in fact you’d be right!

How to make a woman come in fifteen minutes
What does she mean by sexual satisfaction? That her partner knows how to make a woman come? Or that he actually does so?

But by asking participants in the study a number of different questions related to different aspects of sexual satisfaction, and then establishing which factors are correlated with each other, it becomes possible to analyze what people mean by “sexual satisfaction” (and, by implication, sexual pleasure).

We’ve already mentioned that men seem to be much more orgasm-oriented than women.

This does not mean women regard having an orgasm during partnered sex as unimportant, but it may suggest that women think the effort their male partner puts into making a woman come (or into giving a woman an orgasm) is more important that the orgasm itself.

The questions in this study covered a wide range of possible sexual behaviours, as well as the feelings that might come from them, and the experiences which a couple could have before they felt sexually satisfied.

She also interviewed the participants so as to establish what helped them to distinguish satisfactory and unsatisfactory sexual experiences.

What did all this demonstrate?

First of all, for men, feeling masculine as a result of their sexual experience was very important.

In addition there were a number of specific emotional experiences which provided men with sexual satisfaction – these included feeling safe, letting one’s guard down, and trusting a partner. Being able to “let go” involved exploring aspects of sexual behaviour which might not be or feel safe in other situations – such as eroticized aggression.

For women, emotional closeness and trust as well as sex within a monogamous relationship were important to feel sexual satisfaction. Women also wanted to feel “merged” with a partner – another aspect of relational closeness. 

Another quality emphasized by women was that “feeling close” to a man was important, and the way they saw it, the closest they could get to a man was to feel him inside them. (So they might be less concerned about your ability to give a woman an orgasm than you thought…..)

When it comes to feelings of emotional closeness, women often report that their orgasm is less important than the man’s orgasm. And many women say that having an orgasm is not at all important for them to feel sexually satisfied.

(How interesting to read this,  in the light of another article on this blog which talks about the orgasm gap between men and women.)

The Same Old, Same Old

There’s another factor for the men here:  the importance of “giving a woman an orgasm”. The research showed it’s important for men to feel they’ve pleased their partner by giving a woman an orgasm or making a woman come.

Among the women, making sure that the man they were with was satisfied seemed to be important to their sense of sexual satisfaction.

To sum up this aspect of the research, men are happy to give a woman an orgasm, and they experience this as increasing their own sexual satisfaction (they speak of an increase in energy or an emotional payoff).

Women, however, especially young women, tend to describe partner satisfaction (specifically giving a partner an orgasm) as a key part of their own sexual satisfaction.

It’s hardly surprising that both men and women get some reinforcement of their sense of masculinity and femininity from prescribed sex roles, because nature evolved us this to be that way.

Video – Sexual intelligence

What’s slightly more surprising is the degree to which women get satisfaction from giving their partner an orgasm, rather than enjoying one themselves.

This may be something to do with sexual maturity, because the tendency was more marked in younger women than in older women.

However, with a clear understanding of gender differences, researchers can move ahead knowing what people mean when they talk about sexual satisfaction.

A final important note:  there is increasingly marked criticism of our sexual mores by feminist researchers who say that orgasm plays a role in maintaining patriarchal privilege in heterosexual relationships.

As an example of this from the study above, one man who was in a relationship said that if his partner had an orgasm he would feel “like he’d done his job.”

This is an interesting indication of how orgasm has become a kind of commodity within a relationship rather than a means to sexual satisfaction in its own right.

To sum it all up, what constitutes sexual satisfaction is as variable as individuals themselves.

For some, orgasm is an important component of sexual satisfaction; for others it is not.

Unsurprisingly, emotional closeness and emotional satisfaction tends to feature more in the sexual satisfaction of women than men.

A reinforcement in an individual’s sense of masculinity or femininity is also associated with sexual satisfaction.

And emotional closeness is both a route to satisfying sex and an outcome of satisfying sex. Perhaps this is hardly surprising when you consider how a woman has to be relaxed and trusting of her partner to be able to enter a space where the man knows how to give a woman an orgasm.

Last but not least, the research demonstrated the importance of the context of satisfaction as opposed to the simple measure of how much or how often someone is sexually “satisfied”.

How To Reach Orgasm – Easily!

According to Cosmopolitan magazine, which isn’t perhaps the most reliable source of information about sex on the planet, but certainly is one of the most popular, around 10% of women have never had an orgasm with a partner.

sex techniquesAnd that is truly shocking! Considering that the basis of all male-female relationships is love and sex, what can be done about it? Well, obviously, one of the things that can be done about it is for women to take matters into their own hands — and yes, I’m speaking quite literally — women can give themselves an orgasm. They can make themselves come.

So here, courtesy of Cosmo, are some hot tips for female orgasms.

First of all, if you want to come easily, get on top during sexual intercourse. That way, if you lean forward, you can compress your clitoris between your pelvic bone and your  mate’s, providing clitoral stimulation – and hopefully sufficiently intense to make you come. But the exact angle you’re going to use to climax quickly will depend on how your bodies come together — for example, how much of a tummy you’ve got (and how much he’s got!)

sex techniquesHowever, if the man is lying on the bed, it might be necessary for him to arch his back a little bit so that his pelvis is raised, giving you the opportunity to “grind” your clitoris against his pelvis. Hopefully that will make you come.

Now, one of the most important things to remember is that sex isn’t just about finding the right sexual position or technique. The truth of the matter is that women can become far more aroused than men during sex, and although it takes a different set of skills to arouse a woman to the point where she’s going to come than it does to arouse a man to that point. The interesting thing is that a man’s arousal depends to a large extent on how aroused the woman he’s with is….

sex techniquesTherefore, if you’re faking orgasm he’s gonna know it at some level, and he’s going to enjoy sex much less than he otherwise would.

Which means that faking it helps no-one, even if you’re doing it with the best intentions in the world (like, for example, not hurting his feelings!)

So the key to stopping faking orgasms is to not go through a process of suddenly admitting that you’ve been faking orgasm all the while, but to show your partner exactly what you need him to do to make you come as a woman. You can say something like “I want to try something new and see if it makes reaching orgasm easier for me as a woman.” He’ll understand that! Or you could invite him to masturbate you, showing him exactly where to put his hand or tongue, to make your orgasm easy.

Or, you could use the coital alignment technique. Watch this video.

Now, one of the interesting things here, of course, is that it’s the techniques you discover when you’re masturbating alone that you can use when you’re having sex with your partner.

If you’re a woman who doesn’t come during intercourse — and very few women do — one thing you can do is to explain to your partner that you like clitoral stimulation, and you want more of this especially during sex with him, to make it feel better for you.

Here are some great sex positions for making women orgasm…..

More on faking orgasms

One of the ways that you can introduce the subject tactfully without hurting his feelings (or shattering any illusions he has about his power to make you come during intercourse) is by suggesting you enjoy some mutual masturbation to get things moving.

Having said all that, you know as well as I do that part of your responsibility is to make it easier for yourself to reach orgasm — and so you’ve no doubt heard of Kegel exercises, and believe me, Kegel exercises are one of the things that will make reaching orgasm a heck of a lot easier! You do need resistance, though, it’s no use just contracting the muscle as if you were stopping yourself urinating.

That means buying something like the Kegel Master, a device specially designed for women to increase the strength of their PC muscles and hopefully make achieving orgasm easier for them.
Are already mentioned, one of the ideal sex positions for a woman to reach orgasm during intercourse is with her on top so that she can engineer the right clitoral stimulation she needs to achieve orgasm.

However – there are other approaches. In the classic missionary position, you can tilt your hips so that you’re directing his penis to the right spot inside your vagina — the “right spot” being the one most likely to make you come!

Alternatively, if he’s got big deal about making a woman come, you can grab hold of his hips and move him in exactly the way you want him to move so his cock stimulates your clitoris or vulva.

And while techniques are all very well, they are only part of the story. So, during sex, it’s always possible for you, or him, to “lend a helping hand”, in other words, for you or him to stimulate your clitoris, thereby helping yourself reach orgasm easily. Similarly, if you’re actually lying face down in the rather nice and comfy position that is called “reverse missionary”, then one option is view to grind your clitoris against a pillow or the bed itself.

The Elusive Female Orgasm

It’s Not Always Easy For A Man To Make A Woman Come!

Sometimes women can’t reach orgasm because of a poor body image (concept of one’s own body), particularly around genital issues.  And that even includes the changes they experience when they get aroused!

The importance of such body image distortions is not surprising in view of the fact seeing oneself as “normally” feminine is heavily implicated distorted attitudes about one’s body.

Laci Green On Fatness

human_bodyFreud spoke of fear about damage to the genital area, phallic envy, anxiety about vaginal penetration, and the holding unrealistic images about the nature of the vagina as things that could affect a girl’s ability to make her way successfully through her psychosexual development. That would also affect her ability to achieve orgasm.

Quite how these issues play out for a man wishing to make a woman come is not clear. But what is clear is that we need to look at the concept of “body image” in any discussion of the female orgasm.

A healthy individual’s identity and ego structure are founded upon body experiences. The first and primary core of self is the matrix of sensations linked with “my body.”

beautyFurther, the process of psychosexual development involves a series of stages during which energy is successively invested in different sectors of the body (oral, anal, genital) that correspondingly vary in their importance in the body scheme and their influence in coloring interpretations of the world.

Body image contributes substantially to relationship success, and in particular the ability of a woman to date successfully and enjoy sex to the full. It also has a significant relationship to her capacity to achieve orgasm (and so by implication to a man’s ability to make a woman come).

There are many internet programs which seek to help women in this regard, including Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever, which is reviewed here.

For men, it is probably more about emotional confidence or self-esteem that regulates his ability to date or to attract a woman and establish relationship.

Body Image

positive body imageClear evidence has accumulated that persons vary in the ways in which they integrate and interpret their body experiences and that, in turn, these adaptations affect their personality style.

For example, sexual arousal does not affect merely the sexual zones.

The whole body is involved… breathing, perspiration, vocalization and equilibrium sensations …. the ability to accept physiological changes is one of the Important prerequisites of sexual enjoyment.

Fear of such change is one of the greatest impediments to sexual functioning. So, of course, is the fear of the loss of relationship. And that may be why so many programs have offered remedies for broken relationships – not least Mike Fiore, whose program Text Your Ex Back is the primary resource for people trying to get back together with an ex-partner.

The effects of sexual arousal

An aroused person feels different all over their body. Expansions or distention in various body zones, not only in the genital area… and there are also changes in sensory acuity, throbbing of body parts, a temperature increase that suffuses over the body, muscle tension alterations, itching, sustained skin contact with another individual, and intense excitation emanating from mucous membranes.

As a man helps her come, or as she becomes more orgasmic, or as her level of arousal increases, a woman’s excited body is different to the body she knows most of the time from day to day.

It’s conceivable these changes may be frightening and therefore ultimately prevent the attainment of orgasm, either by herself or by a partner hoping to make his a woman come. 

But these distortions may, as appeal to another woman as being novel and enjoyably “different,” thereby facilitating orgasm. Indeed, as the internet has demonstrated, sexual perversions and novelty can be highly arousing and exciting, perhaps even forcing a woman to advance towards orgasm.

A lot of ideas have been put forward about body image and how it might render a woman vulnerable to being fear or shame or other negative emotions around sexual arousal.

A number of writers agree that fear of body penetration and of losing body boundaries causes sexual dysfunctions of one kind or another.

So if a woman thinks her body is too “open,” insufficiently protected, and incapable of resisting invasion, she may interpret sexual sensory experiences and the expectation of being entered by the penis in a negative way.

In other words, each individual woman needs to experience her body  as possessing a boundary which both delineates self-identity and serves as a protective shield against perceived dangers. Without an adequate boundary it becomes hard to distinguish between self and non-self. That can make sex threatening.